May 11, 2006

Poseidon
Wil this remake sink or ... umm ... sink?
By Glenn Given production@hippopress.com & Jeff Rapsis jrapsis@hippopress.com

Everybody loves massive ocean liners flipping over and, possibly, exploding ironically as they sink. Certainly 1972’s disaster classic The Poseidon Adventure has its merits. For one there is the looming presence of Ernest Borgnine, which science has shown can only increase the quality of films and television shows. Gene Hackman, Red Buttons and the indominatable Shelly Winters all deliver solid (though sub-Borgnine) performances. And, bravely, important characters die meaningful deaths without a “tidal wave” of schmaltz and minor chords. Notable achievements to say the least.

Does that mean that such material cannot be revisited, homaged and reinterpreted for today’s audiences? Certainly not. I submit that the ressurection of film classics like this and the stellar King Kong and War of the Worlds recreations are noble affairs. They both remind us of the accomplishments of the past and rearm these ideas with higher production values and a tighter focus. Does this mean that every remake is a winner? I am not so bold as to suggest as much. But, given an accomplished director and a production team that knows when and where to touchup, you can count on an exciting revisitation of a thuroughly enjoyed bit of entertainment.

Let’s not fool ourselves, ’72’s The Poseidon Adventure is warmly regarded Hollywood bombast at its best. It’s not Fellini, Truffaut or even Wells and this remake isn’t an afront to some sacred text or slver screen treasure. Flubs and flaws abounded in the original and while there was an “Ernest”-ness to the acting there was woefully little artistry. There is enough there to work with and enough room to wiggle in new ideas and new presentations without befouling the charm of the original. There is little to demonize the new Poseidon production with. Director Wolfgang Peterson (Das Boot, Outbreak) has a strong record of engaging action fare under his belt and the ensemble cast keystoned by Kurt Russell and Richard Dreyfuss are far from a gaggle of C-listers. I’ll bet that Poseidon just might “capsize” your expectations and “sink” your naysaying.
— Glenn Given

Jeff responds
Glenn, remakes are fine. Without remakes, we’d be stuck with the 1925 silent version of The Wizard of Oz, in which Oliver Hardy played the tin man. But no one’s remaking The Wizard of Oz now. Why? Because the 1939 version is a film in which time and place and situation all fused to make a masterpiece. Just as no one’s trying to repaint the Mona Lisa, some films are masterpieces that stand beyond revision. True, the original Poseidon Adventure is a masterpiece of schlock, but it’s a masterpiece nonetheless and should be treated with all due respect. Attempts to update or revisit it only dilute the value of the original by forcing it to define itself through comparsion, rather than letting it stand on its own merits, however bizarre they may be. In the end, a cinema obsessed with remaking the past is filmmaking without a vision for the future, other than one focused perhaps on the cash register. But, as you would punnily agree, whatever floats your boat.

Just as some preservationists argue that the Titanic’s watery grave should be left intact as a memorial, some classic films shouldn’t disturbed by the urge to remake. The Poseidon Adventure is one of them, for several reasons.

First, it was a product of its time – the early 1970s, deep into the television era, when Hollywood was desperately seeking a new gimmick. When producer Irwin Allen released The Poseidon Adventure in 1972, thus launching the disaster flick, he made Hollywood a full-fledged participant in a decade destined to go down as a cultural wasteland.

The Poseidon Adventure’s box office success spawned such classic cheesefests as Earthquake (1974), The Towering Inferno (1975), and The Swarm (1978), a film about killer bees and a good candidate for the worst major Hollywood picture ever produced. The disaster movie was the cinematic equivalent of disco, and no one’s asking to revive that, right?

Then there are the performances. Egged on by a hopelessly hokey script, the original Poseidon Adventure cast turned in an amazing amount of “we’ve never done this before” overacting. Gene Hackman as the temperamental priest and Ernest Borgnine as the beefy cop going at it in heavily stereotyped real-man fashion (and with Red Buttons as a romantic lead!) is all part of the ritual.

Given this, a remake can only take away from the legendary quality of the original. Plus, it’s a losing battle for any performers involved. Just as Willy Wonka will always be Gene Wilder (sorry, Johnny Depp), the late, great Shelly Winters will always be the tubby former champion swimmer who braves underwater danger to help her fellow shipwreck survivors press on.

Also, when The Poseidon Adventure was shown on network television (in the days before 700 cable channels), it was seen by so many people it became something of a shared national experience. (Also, it was the first time I got to stay up past 9 p.m.) Issuing a remake just cheapens the memory of this collective experience.

What’s next? It’s a Wonderful Life remade with Adam Sandler and Juliet Lewis in the lead roles? Gone With the Wind revised to include the teachings of Martin Luther King Jr.? Can’t Hollywood leave well enough alone? — Jeff Rapsis

Glenn responds
The schlock was schlock was schlock and a remake of camp disaster films isn’t a horrible miscarriage of art. You argue that the shallowness of Hollywood produced genuine enjoyment, well the trend continues with Poseidon. It’s misleading to put The Poseidon Adventure alongside Gone with the Wind and extend the former the artistic hands-off that the latter earned. Who says a thoughtful remake of The Towering Inferno couldn’t be made in a post- 9/11 world? You so arrogantly would. These dinosaurs need revision to instill them with artistry and depth. Your blanket ban on recreation and updating smack of a naive fuddy-duddy’s idealistic fossilization of film. Your pro-swimming fat women on screen agenda is downright creepy. Way to hate artistic freedom Jeff..

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