Johnny Knoxville and all his dumb little buddies find new ways to hit each other in the nuts in Jackass 3D, a movie that flings all the early-aughts looniness right into your face.
If watching a guy get kicked in the junk by a donkey sounds like your idea of fun, then Johnny Knoxville, Jason “Wee Man” Acuña, Steve-O, Bam Margera, et al. have you covered. Even when the men are just standing next to each other, waiting for something unrelated to their beans-and-franks to happen, they all seem to always have their hands cupped, protectively, over their boy parts. Which of course leaves them free to be hit in the face, peed on and knocked down by a giant hand.
That Johnny Knoxville knows how to keep his staff on their toes.
For those with a weak gag reflex, there are two, maybe three scenes, that will make you glad you didn’t eat before coming to this movie (it would seem to go without saying that you don’t eat before seeing a Jackass movie — you don’t eat before and you probably won’t want to eat after). Though there is male nudity and plenty of swearing, some might be tempted to allow middle-schoolers to see this movie — there’s no sex, after all, your reasoning might go. In the interest of not giving your kids any ideas, I would urge people to heed the R rating. You don’t want to have to explain to the emergency room why, for example, your child is covered in bee stings after playing tetherball with a hive or why your kid and another kid tried to superglue themselves to each other, both experiments tried here. Jackass is like Mythbusters but without the science or the attention to safety. The whole point of Jackass is to see your friend zapped by a cattle prod or somehow propelled into the air, only to land on his little jackass — or sometimes his neck, but again, half the fun here is in the object-into-family-jewels moment.
This is one of those rare times when I know that something isn’t for me and yet I can see the entertainment value in it. The 3-D effects actually aren’t that bad. Pace-wise, the movie seems to speed along with a just-right momentum — enough room for slow-mo shots of, for example, a ram butting its head into some unfortunate dude’s manhood, but we don’t ever excessively dwell on any one stunt. I don’t need to watch a guy drink…well, let’s not get into it. Let’s just say there are a lot of things here I could have lived my whole life not seeing. But I don’t have beans or a frank and so maybe this is just one of those things I’m not going to fully appreciate, just the way men don’t seem to get the strange and hypnotic wonderfulness of Real Simple magazine. I was plenty happy just to see Beavis & Butthead appear briefly at the beginning to tell me to put on my 3-D glasses. B-
Rated R for male nudity, extremely crude and dangerous stunts throughout, and for language. Directed by Jeff Tremaine, Jackass 3D is an hour and 34 minutes long and distributed in wide release by Paramount Pictures.