The Hippo


May 26, 2020








The World’s Gone Mad – Part II


 ’Tis is the season to be jolly, but all the lunacy around us in the news is a little distracting. 

News Item: Gronk turned into a racial thing
This story was perfect for Patriots haters. They had something to yak about with the added benefit that by drilling Buffalo DB Tre’Davious White long after the play was over Rob Gronkowski actually did something wrong this time. But that’s not where it stayed. Thanks to Fox doofus Shannon Sharpe and ESPN yakers Marcellus Wiley, Ryan Clark and a nearly incoherent Michael Wilbon on WEEI, it somehow was turned it into a racial referendum with all saying if Gronk were black he’d have gotten more than a one-game suspension. They pointed to the recent dustup that got African-Americans Michael Crabtree (Raiders) and Aqib Talib (Broncos) two games (reduced to one) each. Of course, all conveniently forgot to mention Talib has a rap sheet longer than North River Road and the fracas was Round II after doing battle for the exact same thing — Talib ripping a chain off Crabtree’s neck — a year earlier. Personally, I’d have given Crabtree a game for just being dumb enough to wear a chain into a football game, but that’s a story for another day. 
They also neglected to mention that Ray Rice, Greg Hardy and Adrian Peterson originally got just two games each for punching out a fiancée in an elevator, physically assaulting a girlfriend and throwing her on a bed filled with guns and blistering the behind of a three-year-old son with a switch hard enough to draw blood, respectively. While Tom Brady got four games for the still unproven charge of letting a little air out of some footballs and Ben Roethlisberger got six (reduced to four) for doing something in the neighborhood of what the sinister trio did. 
Bottom line: People with agendas believe what they want to believe and don’t let the facts get in the way. 
News Item: NFL officiating is horrendous
Yes, it was a cheap shot. Yes, he should have been punished. But how in the name of Ed Hochuli did those bozos in the striped shirts miss the now sainted Tre’Davious White holding Gronkowski all through that entire play and blatantly pushing off to get the interception? It brings up two issues. (1) The officiating in the NFL is pathetic. I know it’s hard to see all the stuff that goes on in the trenches, but it’s incredible that White basically being dragged along by Gronk on that play 20 yards downfield was not seen by any of the three officials in the area. (2) Gronk is to the NFL what Shaq was to the NBA — too big to be guarded, so the officials level the playing field by not calling three-fourths of the fouls against him. And that’s a prescription for frustration to eventually boil over as it did in Buffalo. If you don’t believe me, go talk to Sean Payton in New Orleans, who had a few things to say on the subject last week.   
News Item: How hard can this be?
Glory-oski Batman — people in Ohio are up in arms that Alabama made the Final Four in college football instead of Ohio State. And not because it’s a state so morally bankrupt it was close to electing gun-toting, teenage-chasing Roy S. Moore to the U.S. Senate. It’s because thanks to a corrupt system designed to protect the major bowl games its very good football team got left out of the football playoffs. You have to be as dumb as many in Alabama to not see how making it an eight-team tournament would put controversies like this to rest. Give the five major conferences an automatic bid, which would be earned by winning their conference playoff title games. That would effectively make it a 13-team tourney, conference championship weekend a bigger deal and regular season conference play far more important, while taking it out of the hands of the computer. That leaves three at large bids to give very good teams like OSU another way in. Start it around New Year’s Day at the Rose, Orange, Cotton and Fiesta Bowls and play in from there. The bowls left out are like the NIT is to the NCAA Basketball Tournament — nobody cares, but people still watch. And making it an eight-team tourney adds just one game, so, uh (cue the canned laughter), classroom work will not be interrupted. Especially since it all happens during the holiday break. So don’t give me that one. 
News Item: Harding honored at premiere 
Just when you think the hole humanity is digging itself for awful behavior and celebrity worship can’t go any lower, it does. The latest came at the L.A. premier of the new Hollywood motion picture I, Tonya. The film is about the ambush and attack on figure skater Nancy Kerrigan to clear the way to a gold medal for Tonya Harding right before the 1994 Winter Olympics, carried out by Harding’s husband Jeff Gillooly and a gang of Jerry Springer show rejects. Harding was on hand beaming on the red carpet with no embarrassment whatsoever for her role in the sordid affair. Which wasn’t even the worst part. There was also the nitwit actor who played Gillooly, Sebastian Stan (whoever he is) gushing, “I don’t know if I should even say hi to her …. I’m totally star struck right now.” The audience then astonishingly gave Harding a standing freaking ovation when she came on the stage prior to the screening! 
You dimwits — her camp attacked an innocent woman to cash in on the fame of winning the gold medal, while she hindered the FBI investigation and got banned for life from U.S. Figure Skating. You’re celebrating that? The only thing scarier is what will come next to dig the sordid hole of debauchery a little deeper. 
I’ve got to go throw up. See you next week. 
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