The label on the bottle reads “Buchanan’s Pineapple.” It’s a brand of scotch flavored with pineapple and citrus fruit. Yes, the fruit flavors cover up the whiskey’s more subtle nuances, but let’s face it, if you were super-concerned about subtly nuanced flavors, you probably wouldn’t be playing around with pineapple-flavored scotch.
Which is not to say that it isn’t delicious. It’s actually very tasty — a little sweet, a little, er, scotchy — and has a lot to bring to a mixed drink. No, you won’t sit in a leather armchair, drinking it out of a snifter and reading poetry in classical Greek (or, for all I know, maybe you will), but it can act well in an ensemble cast.
Which we’ll get to in a minute.
There is something else on the bottle’s label — a signature that reads “James Buchanan.” If that name sounds familiar, it’s the name of the president in office just before Abraham Lincoln. Most historians rate him pretty poorly as a president; a combination of poor judgement, bad luck, and rumors of a — for the time — scandalous personal life led to a rough four years in the White House. He left an ugly mess for Lincoln to deal with, and we know how well that turned out.
Now, I’m not saying that the James Buchanan on the label of this pineapple-flavored scotch is the same Buchanan who was partially responsible for the Civil War. But it would be foolish to discount the possibility.
OK, actually we do know it wasn’t the same guy, but I like to imagine Buchanan moving to Scotland for a fresh start after leaving office and going into the whiskey business. Which is why we’re calling this week’s cocktail:
Jimmy B’s retirement lemonade
- 1 lemon, thinly sliced
- 2 teaspoons granulated sugar
- 2 ounces Buchanan’s Pineapple
Combine the lemon slices and sugar in a cocktail shaker. Muddle them thoroughly — really grind them together for a full minute or so. Then, add the whiskey and five or six ice cubes.
Shake enthusiastically, until a line of condensation forms on the shaker or you hear the ice start to break up into small shards.
Do not strain this drink. Pour everything directly into a rocks glass, and drink it with an open mind and a light heart.
Does it taste like lemonade? Yes, a little.
Does it taste fruity and boozy? Definitely.
Does it taste of questionable choices? Perhaps, but it’s springtime, a time for impulsive decisions. You will not regret this one.
Probably.
Featured photo: Jimmy B’s retirement lemonade. Photo by John Fladd.