Author: Dave Long

It’s been a week since the demise of the Celtics brass.

It came a day after their playoff wipeout to the Nets, when news broke GM Danny Ainge was “retiring” and Brad Stevens was being kicked upstairs to replace Danny. If you read this column regularly you know I’ve been saying since early February both had a lot to do with the disaster evolving in front of our eyes, and, since last summer, that the team needed to be constructed away from its no-point-guard, 3-ball-centric, hoist-it-up approach.

So, while both have done very good things here, not so much lately and as a result the change is a good thing. Just not as good as it could have been. Because for the last year or so I’ve felt like Bob Kraft did when he said upon firing Pete Carroll in 1999, “We need a momentum change.”

So here are a few hot takes following the shakeup.

The good news: Being a glass is half full kind of guy, with the Lakers also getting run out in Round 1, L.A. and the C’s remain tied for most NBA league titles won (17) for another year. That seemed in peril at the start of 2020-2021.

That does it for the good news. Now for the bad.

Pitino reboot: When I said the change didn’t go far enough, I meant making Stevens GM will be the worst move since hiring Rick Pitino 25 years ago. Although Danny trading up in the 2013 draft for Kelly Olynyk and leaving Giannis Antetokounmpo on the board was pretty bad. That means the same policies and demeanor that led to the abyss remain, starting with likely selecting a head coach who thinks as he does. The team badly needs a culture change, more emotion/passion and an inside scoring approach to complement the 3-ball game.

Where’s George Steinbrenner when you really need him? This comes from the Sports Hub’s Tony Maz, who suggests the only reason Stevens moved upstairs is that the team owes him close to $25 million after foolishly extending him for six long years during last season. That seems like a really dumb thing for the owners of a $2 billion enterprise to do. And while George’s lunacy way back when was the reason I stopped being a Yankees fan (a good thing after last weekend), for once I’m with George. Because he’d have broomed everyone by now.

Brad Stevens: Far be it from me to tell someone else what’s best for them career-wise. But I’ll make an exception. It’s not that he can’t coach; it’s that he hasn’t changed or adapted to new circumstances. As Larry Bird said all through his time coaching Indiana, there’s a shelf-life for coaches and Brad hit his in Boston. He needs a change in the way Andy Reid did after he got fired in Philly. Ditto for Bill Belichick after Cleveland ended in disaster. Both came back stronger than before and maybe Stevens can too in a new locale.

Jayson Tatum: I know, guys who can score 60 in a game don’t grow on trees. Especially those who put in the work and are good kids. But sorry, I want more. The only time he ever shows emotion is when calls don’t go his way. The best player on the team almost always has to be the leader. He’s not, and whether he can score 70 or even 80 he’ll never be a Top 5 player until he assumes that role. Thus he’ll be a No. 2 like Kevin McHale was to Bird’s alpha dog and if it’s truly not in him, like it wasn’t for Anthony Davis in New Orleans, they’ve got to bring in someone Jimmy Butler-like, who can lead as he mentors him to become one. Which brings me to the next coach.

The next coach: I hope they hire an ex-player with major NBA playing cred for the players to look up to, and fill in his holes with veteran assistants. Somebody like Kevin Garnett. I know, he has no coaching experience. Plus I have no idea if he can coach, has the temperament to coach or even wants to. I also know major stars from Willis Reed to Dan Issel didn’t cut it when given a shot by their old team. But I do know KG scared the bejeebers out of everyone when he arrived in 2008 and his fire totally transformed the team’s culture. After being under the NBA’s answer to Mr. Rogers the last eight years, this team that doesn’t value winning enough needs that badly. Especially Tatum. It won’t happen, but that is the first call I’d make if I owned the team.

Reflection on days gone by: Hope no one has missedtheirony of where the Nets and Celtics are seven years after the blockbuster trade of 2014. Since Day 1, Brooklyn was universally mocked for giving up their future for two guys (Garnett and Paul Pierce) that were too deep into the back nine to have the impact the Nets brass expected. It got worse as the choices they gave up (Tatum and Jaylen Brown) became emerging stars. The narrative was, the C’s were set up to have a deep, talented team for years to come, while the Nets would be mired at the bottom because they gave away the draft positions that generate real talent. Flash forward to 2021, where thanks to savvy trades, big and small free agent pickups and salary cap manipulation the Nets are the deeper team with three big talents at the top of their roster. Tip of the cap to Nets GM Sean Marks, who did all that. Meanwhile, after squandering many of their picks with bad drafting and a reluctance to trade them for immediate veteran help, the C’s are scrambling.

It shows life not only doesn’t turn out like everyone expects, it can turn out to be 180 degrees opposite.

Time to clear out the attic of my cluttered sports mind.

I don’t know much about European soccer, but I do know a disaster when I see one and the effort by 12 greedy owners to abandon ancient partner clubs to form a so-called “Super League” was a catastrophe of epic proportions. It’s likely the dumbest move anyone has made since those dingbats from Coke in the early ’80s changed the formula of the world’s most popular soft drink. The one silver lining is that the enormous backlash shows fans do have a voice and don’t have to just take it when greedy owners try to line their pockets while screwing loyal fans.

Has any city lost two stars like Mookie Betts and Tom Brady in the same year and then seen the teams they left for win the championship as the Dodgers and Bucs did? Can’t think of any time that happened.

While it’s a nice promotion, it’s hard to believe after nearly 600,000 in the U.S. have died from Covid-19 that CVS has to bribe people with a chance to win tickets to the Super Bowl or Final Four to get vaccinated against the virus.

Since the latter doesn’t even talk to his own family, I’m guessing Aaron Rodgers isn’t a low-maintenance guy. So with his replacement already in place and AR under contract for three more years, if I’m the Green Bay brass I let him sit out the year or retire. If he wants to pass on $87 million because of his hissy fit with the team, so be it. The worst thing you can do when a baby cries to get their way is give in. Unless some team offers four first-round picks. Then it’s don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Love all those so convinced Mac Jones will be the Patriots’ Week 1 starter. Many were the same folks saying they wouldn’t re-sign Cam Newton, Jimmy G was a lock to be traded here and if not, he was certainly headed somewhere else. None of which happened, so you know their track record. Personally, while I’m not sure how good Cam will be in 2021, I’ll be shocked if he’s not the starter.

With Franchy Cordero sent to the minors and Andrew Benintendi hitting .285 and projecting to go for 16 homers and 84 RBI, it looks like Chaim Bloom’s gamble on Cordero’s potential ain’t paying off.

Loved the story comedian Kevin Pollak told Rich Eisen abouton his radio show about the first time he met grumpy old man and noted sports gambler Walter Matthau. It was on the set of Grumpy Old Men when he, in his words, foolishly tried to make small talk with Matthau by saying, “The script is pretty good,” to which Matthau replied, “The script sucks, kid, I’m only doing this ’cause I owe my bookie two million bucks,” and he wasn’t kidding. Further emphasizing how much he loved sports betting, KP said that on the back of the program for Matthau’s memorial service were his NFL picks for next Sunday’s games.

Thought I’d heard all the Yogisms there were, but I heard a new one the other day. His wife Carmen says to him one day, you were born in St. Louis, live in New Jersey and played ball in New York. So if you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried? To which Yogi said, “surprise me.”

Finally, thumbs up to the greatest kicker of them all upon his retirement. Ultra-clutch Adam Vinatieri earned that honor for a resume that includes (1) making the game-winning FGs as time expired to give the Patriots dynasty its first two Super Bowl wins, (2) hitting the greatest field goal in NFL history that went through a blinding Foxboro snowstorm from 45 yards out off a field where the snow was 5 inches deep to send the first playoff game of the Belichick era to OT, which he later won with a 23-yard kick to beat Oakland 16-13 — no FG either time, no first SB win, and he also supplied the decisive margin in the third SB win over Philly, (3) being the NFLs all-time leader in both field goals and points scored. All were great, but my favorite moment was his 45-yard dash to chase down Olympic-level speedster Herschel Walker at the Dallas 18-yard line to prevent a kick return TD after having no real angle. Tuna famously said after that, “You’re no longer a kicker, you’re a football player.” No truer words have ever been spoken.

With six no-hitters already, the Mets’ Jacob DeGrom off to a historic start before going on the DL, Shohei Ohtani beautifully pulling off the pitcher-DH thing with 14 homers and a 2.37 ERA, and the surprising Giants, Red Sox and White Sox around the top of their divisions all year, baseball 2021 is off to an interesting start. But, as is usually the case for the sport that outsmarts itself more than all the others combined, it got its panties in a bunch over a story that takes away from all the good news.

That would be in Chicago, where with a few notable exceptions like 1959 and the Frank Thomas era, the White Sox have largely been a joke since throwing the 1919 World Series. So it makes sense that instead of just enjoying having baseball’s best record, the big story in Chi-Town was their 76-year-old manager calling his 28-year-old rookie catcher Yermin Mercedes “clueless” for hitting an eighth-inning homer with his team up double digits because it came on a 3-0 count. It immediately sparked an old-school vs. new-school debate that said after not managing for nine years Tony La Russa was out of touch with modern players who are not wedded to baseball’s ancient code of conduct.

I am no fan of La Russa, whose La Russification of managing pitching put baseball on the path to the endless game of today. But he is right about one thing. Mercedes was given the take sign and he either missed it or, worse, ignored it, which does make him clueless. On the other hand, his sportsmanship argument is stupid for two reasons. First, while they are rare, 13-run innings have happened, so follow Yogi Berra’s advice – because “it ain’t over till it’s over.” Second, Yermin didn’t put a 45-mile-an-hour non-pitching stiff into the game. That was Twins manager Rocco (head) Baldelli so as to not waste real pitchers in a lost cause. So, Rocco, your fault, because you reap what you sow. Then by having his pitcher throw behind Yermin’s head the next day as payback he’s the real villain because that leads to more beanballs, fights and maybe serious injury or worse. So boo Rocco.

In the meantime, as we wait for the real clueless people in Chicago to focus on what actually matters, here are a few other thoughts on baseball’s start.

Baseball 101: Yankees players have won the MVP award two times, but it was done only once by a pitcher. Name him.

Mentioned last week how good Matt Barnes has been so far, but how about Aroldis Chapman? As of Monday morning, the Yankees closer had 37 strikeouts in just 19 innings with an ERA of 0.47.

If you missed it, by hitting .335 with 13 bombs and 35 RBI F-Cat alum Vlad Guerrero Jr. is tearing it up in Toronto. With nine homers and 27 RBI, his Manchester teammate Bo Bichette is not far behind.

Alex Verdugo vs. Mookie Betts Update:While the Mookster is up one World Series win to none, the trade of Betts to L.A. was always a long-term move for the Sox and at the moment you’ve got to like the progress. Here’s what it looks like in Year 2, with Verdugo’s numbers listed first. Avg .297-.258. R 30-25. Doubles 8-15, Triples 1-0, HR 6-5 and RBI 20-16. Paycheck $450,000-$22 million (2021) and $400 million until 2032.

David Price, incidentally, hasbecome a very pricey bullpen pitcher. He’s made just one start in 10 appearances and that was as a two-inning opener on May 20. After opting out last year the start was rocky, but the ERA is down to 3.95.

That was quite a messy ending to the Albert Pujols era with the Angels, who said they had no room to play him. Of course then Mike Trout goes down for two months after he joined the Dodgers.

The question after that news was, is he the best first baseman ever? Well, he’s fifth all-time in total bases (5,963) and homers (668), third best RBI (2,117), which dwarves competitors like Lou Gehrig and Jimmie Foxx, so it’s hard to say no. But it’s been so long since he was the astonishing hitter he was in St. Louis, it’s hard to wrap my head around saying yes too.

Here is my “only I would care about it” weird old-time baseball stat of day. The all-time winning percentage leader (100 wins or more) is the 1930s-40s Yankee Spud Chandler at 71.1 percent. What’s weird is he did it only after getting to the majors at 29, because he was just 46-53 the previous five years in the minors!

Sports 101 Answer: Good old Spud is also our answer. He was MVP in 1943 when he was 20-3 with an ERA of 1.64, the lowest of anyone between 1920 and 1967.

Stumbled on that after being asked if Jon Lester will be a Hall of Famer. He’s 37 and has 191 wins, so if he can hang on until 40 while averaging 12 wins per, he’ll be close to 230 wins with a terrific 62.9 winning percentage. That’s more than Curt Schilling (216) without the baggage. But unlike Clayton Kershaw (a lock), who has a truckload, he’s got no big awards. Plus, the not in so far Andy Pettitte has 256 wins and a record 19 postseason victories. So probably not, but he’ll get votes from the stat geeks, er, newer voting members with less traditional reasons for saying yes.

Two other interesting stats found during the search. (1) At 69.6 Kershaw’ is now on target to pass Whitey Ford for the highest winning percentage of anyone with 200 wins, though he is still 19 short. (2) Lester’s winning percentage for the Red Sox and Cubs was an identical 63.6 percent.

One of these days, I’ve got to start paying closer attention to the NL again.

After a year of being a team no one wanted to own, the surprising 2021 Red Sox are back to my introducing them to one and all as being your Boston Red Sox. A team with a solid core, getting surprising production from retread newcomers like Garrett Richards or never-was-until-now guys like the 5-0 Nick Pivetta.

That makes them a classic case of “is the glass half empty or half full?” One hand, they lead the AL East by 1.5 games after entering 2021 with no expectations whatsoever from me. It has me wondering what I missed. On the other hand, while they do have an outstanding middle of the order, they appear to have (big) holes in the everyday lineup and throughout the pitching staff. That makes me wonder if they can keep it up, especially as they face a mostly tougher part of their schedule over the next six weeks.

Good Signs

Alex Cora: Outside of his maddening caution with his pitchers, one of baseball’s best managers is back in their dugout. That’ll be tested, because unless reinforcements arrive he’ll have to creatively mix and match all year to cover up the obvious holes they have.

Middle of the Order: With his in-game video review security blanket restored, J.D. Martinez is back to normal. So with him, Raffy Devers and Xander Bogaerts all on a pace for 35 homers and to knock in over 100, the lineup’s 3-4-5 can mash with anyone. It’s the strongest part of the team that will be extended on either side if/when Alex Verdugo and Christian Vazquez contribute as consistently as a year ago.

Eduardo Rodriguez: While the 4.15 ERA is higher than you’d like, the more important 5-1 record shows he’s come through missing 2020 with Covid-19-related heart issues OK. Major good news.

Matt Barnes: I’m nominating whoever’s behind getting/forcing him to attack from the first pitch for a Nobel Prize because he’s been outstanding. After watching him nibble himself through one seven-pitch at-bat after another, I usually was infuriated every time he pitched. But no more, as outings like his 12-pitch, three-strikeout save vs. Detroit on May 5, or Friday’s 11-pitch, 10-strike, 3-K save vs. the Angels, have become the norm. Even when Shohei Ohtani clipped him for a game-winning homer on Sunday, it came on a 1-2 pitch with two outs after only getting up because of a botched play in the field.

Things to Keep an Eye On

The Starters: Sorry, I don’t trust it yet behind E-Rod. While healthy so far, Nate Eovaldi has won double digits once in his 10-year career and that was six years ago. Richards is8-12 since 2016 and while Pivetta has been terrific, Philly gave up on his promise after he was 19-30 there. So I need a larger sample size from him.

The Bullpen: Beyond Barnes, it’s “who knows?” as according to Boston Globe stat geek scribe Alex Speier their six bullpen losses and five blown saves lead MLB for May. So I don’t trust anyone, especially eighth-inning setup guy Adam Ottavino, who looks like Nolan Ryan for three pitches and a human blow torch the next five.

Outside the Core: I like the bench’s defensive versatility, but all of them beyond short-timer Michael Chavis are hitting in the low .200s. They need to be far better, or Chaim needs to get people who can be.

Questions to Answer

Chris Sale: They’ve put no timetable on his return. A good thing because it allows no media pressure for a return by a certain date. He’ll be ready when he’s ready. And since no one knows what he will or can deliver when that day arrives, it’s better to consider anything he gives them as a bonus.

Bobby Dalbec and Hunter Renfroe:While they’re hit-or-miss guys at the moment the big “what if” for them is can they find the consistency that would give the Sox five guys with 30-homer potential. Renfro already hit 33 for San Diego in 2019 and Dalbec had a rare for the low minors 32-homer season at (mostly) AA in 2018. So it’s not that far-fetched.

Biggest Questions to be Answered

Nick Pivetta:By starting off 7-0 here since late last year, has the lightbulb finally gone on for the talented, once promising righty? Or is his terrific start a highly visible early season hot streak that ends with the clock striking 12 at some point?

Chaim Bloom: The fast start has gotten skeptics like me off his back for now. But the real question is if they stay in contention and need to fortify the bullpen or everyday spots, will he sit on his hands to sacrifice contending till the end to preserve the farm system’s rebuild for another year?

Chris Sale: If he’s ready to help after it’s too late to stretch him out, could he be used out of the bullpen? In a pre-designed programmed way to provide a certain number of quality innings per week that reduces arm stress as he builds back up? They probably won’t do that, but if able, he’s likely better than anyone they could get at the deadline, thus letting Chaim not use his prized prospects as trade chips.

So that’s the take for the first quarter of the season. Though one other thought has crept into my mind while examining the weaknesses. Is it possible that the 2021 Sox are like the 2013 edition? Who I kept saying about right up until the World Series, how are they doing this because they are not that good? So, with that highly enjoyable season in mind, regardless of where it all ends, put me on the “glass is half full” side.

At least for now.

It’s weird that in the worst Patriots season in two decades, this football season/off-season has seemed to last longer than any of the previous 20. It’s mid-May and I’m still writing about legitimate, current Patriots news. Another example of how public interest for the NFL off season has overrun baseball and its once beguiling hot stove league. Also due I guess to my meager pre-season expectations for the surprising 2021 Red Sox, the sad, embarrassing disintegration of the Celtics’ once promising future and not even knowing if the Bruins are still playing because my streaming service has kicked NESN off its platform.

So football reigns. At least for one final week until we finally get to the Red Sox next week. That is, unless Coach B surprises everyone by pulling off the until now non-rumored Mac Jones for Tom Brady swap. Until that happens, though, here are our final thoughts on the draft and news around it until September.

Regardless of what I hear about draft and Patriots “steals” like Christian Barmore (a first-round talent), Ronnie Perkins (could be a great edge rusher) (which is what they said about Chase Winovich) orall-name teamer Rhamondre Stevenson (the next LeGarrette Blount),I don’t believe anything till I see guys play in real games.

Incidentally, when I hear the draft’s top-rated D-lineman (Barmore) fell to the Pats in the second round over maturity issues, I think Dominique Easley or Josh Gordon at best and Aaron Hernandez at worst. Not making any statement about a specific kid, just saying when I hear “slide” coupled with “maturity issues” that’s what pops into my head.

Football 101: Only five players in NFL history have been named first team All Pro in their first three years in the league. One is currently active. Name them.

When the latest Aaron Rodgers snit/pout comes to light, what word comes to mind first — self-centered, diva or crybaby?

But if you were SF would you have done the pre-draft rumored Rodgers-to-SF deal for the third overall pick and Jimmy G? Yes for me.

Albert Einstein Award: In my informal tracking of the most well-known mockers, only ESPN’s Todd McShay hit the Patriots’ draft day trifecta of being right that the 49er’s would take Trey Lance and not Jones at third overall, the Pats would stay home, not trade up, to get Jones at 15 and Jimmy G would not be traded.

Cosmo Kramer Hipster Doofus Award: Goes to “hey look at me” NBC contrarian Chris Simms, who always makes outlandish picks to look like the smartest, hippest dude in the room if they come out right. Then he’ll mention the one that only he got right, and neglect to mention the 30 others he got wrong. This year it was saying QB-needy New England would shock all by trading up to 11 for Alabama speedster Jaylen Waddle over taking a QB. Nope — they got Jones at 15, while Waddle went sixth to Miami and a QB, Justin Fields, did go at 11 to Chicago. Simms had Fields sliding to 32. Nice call, dude.

A Little History: With Trevor Lawrence, Zach Wilson and Lance going 1-2-3 it was the third time quarterbacks were taken with the first three picks, and the history is not great. The last time was 1999 when top pick Tim Couch and third pick Akili Smith both busted and, while second pick Donovan McNabb had a long career, I never warmed to him. The other was 1971 with Jim Plunkett (Stanford), dad of Peyton and Eli, Archie Manning (Mississippi) and Dan Pastorini (Santa Clara). All had long careers, but none are Hall of Famers and only Plunkett won Super Bowls (1980 and 1983). But only after he was beaten to a pulp after being taken first overall by the moribund Patriots and traded for the boatload of draft picks that laid the foundation for the good Chuck Fairbanks teams in the mid-1970’s.

Since history suggests at least two taken in Round 1 will bust, my picks are Fields and Wilson. Have nothing to back that up beyond history and my gut feeling. Gut— haven’t trusted an Ohio State QB since the Baltimore Colts gambled on Art Schlichter in 1982, with the most recent examples being Dwayne Haskins and Troy Smith. History — if anyone can screw it up it’s the Jets. I’ve been hearing since Al Woodall replaced Joe Namath how good the next QB will be. Al wasn’t, and not just because he was a dead ringer for Jethro on The Beverly Hillbillies.

I’ve got nothing against the likable Wilson. But from a small town in Utah to NYC seems like a bad combo. The ravenous NYC media is already making him out to be the second coming of Gandhi after also doing the same to Sam Darnold and Mark “Sanchize.” But in being better-looking than Brady and Jimmy G combined he’ll make a fortune in endorsements playing there.

By the way, after seeing the damage Waddle’s electrifying speed did in those ESPN video clips, I’d say the last piece Coach B needs is a No. 1/speed receiver. So I’m all in for a post-June 1 trade with cap-strapped Atlanta for Julio Jones.

I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility that when/if Jones is ready, we could see a two-headed QB monster at some point, with Jones as the starter and Cam having a third and short/ goal line runner and change-of-pace passer wildcat QB role.

Football 110 Answer: The five who were All-Pros in their first three NFL seasons are Earl Campbell, Lawrence Taylor, 1990s Eagles tight end Keith Jackson, Barry Sanders, and the current one, Indianapolis Colts guard Quenton Nelson.

Finally, for the record, I’m not holding my breath on that rumored Mac-for-Tom swap started here today. But don’t forget to pass it on. And what’s the bet that if it happens the hipster dude Simms says he had it first?

With Bill Belichick soon to be on the clock really needing to get it 100 percent right for the first time since 2001, last Thursday’s NFL draft was a big day for Patriot Nation. But, given his exasperating draft history of mindlessly trading up and down the board, I didn’t enter the night with great confidence. Especially with his annoying penchant for trading out of the first round for a better “value” pick in the second and then blowing it on failed DBs like Joejuan Williams, Duke Dawson, Cyrus Jones, Jordan Richards, Tavon Wilson and Ras-I Dowling.

But after a less than satisfactory year after Tom Brady took his talents to a south beach, this time there couldn’t be any of the usual nonsense. He needed to get a long-term quarterback solution. That had everyone but those holding out for a trade for Jimmy G begging, and I mean begging, for a trade up to get one of the five top-rated quarterback prospects.

That set the stage as the night started. And the following is an account of how it went for David Long the fan, not the columnist, over the mostly excruciating 100 minutes from when Roger the Dodger opened the 2021 NFL draft until Coach B picked at 15.

I was calm, cool and collected through picks 1 and 2. Three was a shocker, at least to the “experts” who assured all that after trading three firsts and a third to move up there the 49ers would absolutely take Alabama QB Mac Jones. But somewhere along the line indecision crept into the SF war room and they went with ND State’s uber-athletic Trey Lance instead. That also put to rest the local media’s (except me) obsession with Jimmy Garoppolo’s return to Foxboro being inevitable. Never was, because no team has ever been imbecilic enough to dump a solid veteran QB to hand its legit Super Bowl ambitions over to any rookie on Day 1.

However, that didn’t change the equation for Patriot Nation, as two of the top five QBs remained as Lance was just swapped for Jones. That meant the real action, angst and worry now got started with all the picks to 8 trade-up possibilities. Scuttlebutt had the Falcons (4) and Carolina (8) as possibles to go QB. But thanks to enormous cap hit consequences on Matt Ryan and Carolina having just traded for Matt Darnold,that was unlikely.Still I crossed my fingers, but neither did. Phew. Denver, who clearly needs a QB, was next. But nope, they went DB Jaycee Horn to eliminate another QB contender or trade-up slot, making Denver’s choice both weird and lucky for New England. Phew again.

At 10, ESPN’s Mike Greenberg says “we’ve got a trade.” Please don’t say Chicago, WFT or New Orleans! Nope, in a move even weirder than Denver’s, hated rivals Philly and Dallas go all Henry Kissinger on us to swap 12 for 10. But turns out not to be détente but a desire to jointly screw another AFC East rival, as Philly jumped ahead of the G-Men to take Bama wideout Jaylen Waddle, whom the NYG’s badly wanted.

So, with the G-Men and Dallas having no QB interest, I’m back to the trade up mantra. Except at 11 I hear, “We’ve got another trade between the Giants and … Chicago.” Yikes! That means QB 4 is gone. Still, It’s still sort of lucky, as they took Ryan Day’s Ohio State QB Justin Fields to leave the already QB-solid Cowboys, Chargers and Minnesota between the Pats and the QB I wanted all along — Jones. So I’m back shouting, “GO UP will you please!” Although to be truthful it was more like begging him, along the lines of when I was on my knees begging Grady Little to take Pedro out of Game 7 vs. the Yanks during the 2003 baseball playoffs.

But then it’s all in jeopardy. Another trade is announced for the last pick before the Pats. Now it’s double fingers and legs crossed and I’m in full body contorted mode while squinting at the TV to help me both hear (good news) and not hear (if it was bad). Don’t ask me how it does either, because it doesn’t. Then comes the biggest shocker of the night, when the Jets of all teams save Bill from himself by moving into the 14th slot. They already took Zach Wilson, so no QB there. Of course, given his history I knew freaking Bill could still trade back and out of the first round.

But no — Roger the Dodger goes, “with the 15th pick the Patriots select” — please no DB, please no DB — “Mac Jones of Alabama.” Exhale and say PHEW as I uncross my cramped fingers, legs and de-contort my torso. Well, in truth I may have exaggerated the contorting parts just a bit. You’d have to be insane to do that at my age. Though when I was kid I once left my head resting on a radiator one Sunday in November as it kept getting warmer and warmer because doing it coincided with a big Giants comeback vs. Washington and I figured it was good luck. Hurt all the next day, but it was worth it. You know, once a lunatic fan, always a lunatic fan. So while exaggerated, that is how it played out in my head.

As for the net cost accounting to get the last three available QBs: (1) San Francisco — the position swap from 12 to third overall cost first-round picks in 2022 and 2023, along with 2022 third. (2) Chicago — their 2022 first pick to go from 20 to 11. (3) New England — thanks to a nice combo of strategy, guts and a little luck they spent nothing. We’ll hold back on “In Bill We Trust” stuff until we see the goods from the 4.0 GPA graduate-a-year-early ex-Alabama chucker.

So good luck and welcome to town, young man.