Stryper, Throne Of Thorns (Frontiers Music s.r.l.)
Oh, sure, I remember these guys from their hair-metal heyday in the ’80s. I never believed a word of their claiming to be a “Christian metal” band, given that when I was in the business myself I almost got trolled into co-creating such an act myself: A demented, incorrigible heathen in the Manchvegas hard rock scene wanted to get some backing for us to do a record, and we both agreed that the fastest way to get things going would be to get a rich Christian fundamentalist to throw us a bucket of money to “rock out for the Lord” and we could be as derivative as we wanted, which Stryper was at their peak. I remember listening to them once and noting that they sounded like low-rent Iron Maiden wannabes, which brings us to now, and voila, the title track opens the record up with a thinly disguised ripoff of Mayyy-den’s “Where Eagles Dare,” Michael Sweet’s amateurish vocals leading the charge. “Here In Your Heart” follows, re-establishing their masterful way with uninspiring mid-tempo Accept-ish schlock rock. Absolutely nothing new here; these guys still couldn’t write an interesting riff if Satan himself were threatening to boil them alive. C
Brennan Wedl, Brennan Wedl (ANTI- Records)
Sure, this self-described “Nashville wench rocker” is fine for what she is, in case you can’t bear another minute without a new Sheryl Crow album. Because that’s who this Minnesota native sounds like, although she does try to emphasize the sassy side of country-tinged jangle-rock (lots of nasty mugging with her tongue out and such), a habit she developed while co-piloting the queercore outfit Dazey & The Scouts in the mid-2010s. Her eventual failure will be that she sounds way too much like Crow, which is too bad, given that her songwriting is actually quite good, as demonstrated in “Let’s Be Models,” and she does have a rockout side, which we hear in “Pretty Little Fantasy,” its blocky guitar line recalling scratchy old Mountain records from the 1960s. Actually, “Two Dollar Pistol” is decent, too, for a strummy rocker that sounds like, you know, Sheryl Crow; in the end what’s missing is more dobro and pedal steel, which is tendered in a few Bonnaroo-worthy spots from journeyman Colin Croom, but not enough to distract from the 30,000-pound elephant in the room. B
PLAYLIST
A seriously abridged compendium of recent and future CD releases
• The new CD releases of Friday, Aug. 28, are here, the summer is over, can I get a do-over on the whole thing before we’re back to freezing water pipes and polar bears going through the trash again? OK, now think back, remember when Alabama Shakes first appeared on the scene and the mainstream press wouldn’t shut up about them for five seconds? I mean, there was good reason for it, given that singer-guitarist Brittany Howard is a world-class frontperson and the band’s music is like an alternative-universe Dave Matthews in which songs are mildly interesting, but I still don’t get what the fuss was/is; the press made it sound like the band was a slovenly, deeply rootsy DIY act a la Cigar Box Serenaders, which they are not. At any rate, their new LP I Must Be Dreaming includes the ’70s-soul-tinted single “I Feel Hope Coming,” a cross between Roberta Flack and Sadé. On Sept. 5 they’ll be playing at Koussevitzky Music Shed in Lenox, Mass.
• Interesting character, this Ty Segall guy, no relation to Steven Segal, given that his last name is spelled differently. He’s a garage/stoner-rocker from Laguna Beach, California, and is on record complaining that MTV’s stupid-brained mid-Aughts reality TV series Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County drove out all the interesting hippies and surfers and whatnot who made the place awesome, because suddenly it was too expensive to live there. Learning that reminded me of a newspaper article I wrote in my Portsmouth Herald weekly column in 2003 about the sudden inexplicable appearance of horrible greed-monsters in the Port City buying up apartment buildings where one used to be able to rent a 400-square-foot place for $450 a month and then partitioning them into hilariously cramped little “condos” and selling them to tedious yuppie families from Boston, which drove every last cool person in the city north to Ogunquit, Maine, such a terrible timeline. So recently Segall had a burst of creativity, which is usually a bad thing, but in this case it isn’t, as his trip is no-wave-adjacent and quite loud; he’s releasing two things this Friday, an EP titled Love Fuzzz and an album called Chrome. The reason for this mini-flood of music product is that he’s very happy with his new band, as he should be; the guitar sound on the latter release’s doomy “Running To Nowhere” is so filthy and groovy it would make Queens Of The Stone Age run for the hills. I approve of its message.
• If you’re cool, or you unironically read music magazines like Nylon, a vice that lowers your coolness level significantly, I’m sure you’ve heard of LA Priest, real name Sam Eastgate, of the British dance-glam-prog band Late Of The Pier, which broke up in 2010. Oh what am I even doing, none of this will be on the test, most Americans haven’t taken a British band seriously since Oasis, let me just go listen to the title track from Eastgate’s new album, Into The Sky. Well isn’t this special, zoomy 16-bit-video-game music fit for Gran Turismo or whatnot, something Daft Punk might have thrown together in three minutes to soundtrack the unveiling of the iPhone Pro Max 18 at whatever insufferable Apple conference, where they’ll also mention that the upgrade price will be going up again even though Apple got two billion dollars as a “tariff rebate” that should have gone to their customers. Big whoop.
• And finally we have Aughts-indie darlings Interpol with their newest LP, This Mirror Weighs A Ton. If you’re a fan of theirs, you’ve probably already heard the first single, “See Out Loud,” a dark, tuneless, ’80s-jangling trifle; the album opens with “Iron City,” a tune that sounds like Coldplay after listening to too much Depeche Mode.
Featured Photo: Stryper, Throne Of Thorns and Brennan Wedl, Brennan Wedl
