Classic meal, new wines

What to drink with your turkey and pie

Thanksgiving is just two weeks away! It seems like yesterday we were looking for cool white wines and enjoying spritzers in the back yard. The days may be getting cooler and shorter but that shouldn’t dampen our spirits. The holiday season begins with Thanksgiving, a time to get together with family and friends to celebrate and give thanks for our health and bounty. In addition to high school football games, the day is focused on “the big meal,” which may last several hours. The food is hearty and certainly diverse, starting with appetizers, moving on to the main meal of roast turkey with multiple side dishes, ending in what may seem like a dozen different pies.

The Thanksgiving menu can be challenging when it comes to pairing the right wine to go with each course. A familiar response to this question is, “a white wine, of course.” That response covers a lot of territory! Many will pick a white sparkling wine, while others may opt for a light dry rosé. A chardonnay is often suggested, as the slight creaminess pairs well with roast turkey. Another option is a pinot noir. This red may have bright berry notes to it. It will not overpower the turkey while complementing the wide range of side dishes.

For this Thanksgiving I have selected a California chardonnay and two French wines, one from the Loire River valley, the other from the northern reaches of Beaujolais.

Our first wine, the 2016 Stuhlmuller Vineyards Estate Chardonnay (originally priced at $29.99, and reduced to $12.49 at the New Hampshire Liquor & Wine Outlets), is a perfect chardonnay to pair with the main course. Coming from the southwestern corner of the Alexander Valley, the vineyard of Roger and Carmen Stuhlmuller was planted in the 1970s with top-quality vines. The slight rise above the banks of the Russian River of gravel, clay and volcanic soils, along with cool nighttime temperatures, produces fruit that is rich with complex flavors and good acidity. With a color of golden straw and a nose of fresh pear and apple, it develops on the palate with notes of spicy pear and nectarine, along with some minerality from the soils and a touch of the oak from barrel aging. The finish is long and complex with a slight touch of acidity, perfect for pairing to the main course.

Our second wine, the 2017 Château de Fesles Chenin Sec (originally priced at $59.99, and reduced to $21.99 at the New Hampshire Liquor & Wine Outlets), comes from the Anjou region of the Loire River Valley of France. This wine is a slight departure from the usual recommendations for the Thanksgiving feast. The color is straw that somehow has a sparkle even though it is a still wine. It has a floral nose of citric blossoms that transform to the palate with dried fruit, honey and toasted bread. This is a wine that can pair with appetizers of cheese or smoked salmon or the creaminess of a New England Clam Chowder. While it’s hardly mainstream, if enough of us try it and ask for it, the State may stock more of this Anjou varietal.

Our third wine, the 2018 Domaine Laurent Gauthier Chiroubles Chatenay Vieilles Vignes (originally priced at $41.99, and reduced to $16.99 at the New Hampshire Liquor & Wine Outlets), comes from the northern edge of the Beaujolais region of France. This wine is produced from gamay noir grapes just as Beaujolais is, but coming from the northern edge of the region the wine benefits from the similar terroir, its soils and climate, as the rich red burgundies we all love. The color is a rich garnet, with purple tints. The nose is floral, with notes of dark cherry, along with some minerality generated by the soils of the region. The palate is light, but satisfying with plenty of fruit, with a long finish. This is a welcome alternative to a familiar pinot noir!

For this Thanksgiving, offer your family and friends some alternative wines, something new to explore. These wines are but a sampling of the many options to expand our experiences with wine and food.

Featured photo: Courtesy Photo.

Project Handsome

As I skid into late middle age, I’ve had to face up to some limitations:

I think I’ve missed my window for running with the bulls in Pamplona.

I’m increasingly unlikely to ever rescue Minnie Driver from a gang of teenage miscreants with an impressive display of capoeira.

I’ll never be able to have my flunkies remove an undesirable party guest by telling them, “Show this cat to the door.”

But I do have an outside chance to meet one modest goal:

I’d like to be handsome.

I’m not talking about being consistently handsome or anything. I haven’t become completely detached from reality. I’d just like to clear the bar once or twice. I figure I’ve got about 10 years before that becomes an impossibility. I’ve been putting a plan into action that I call “Project Handsome.”

A handsome vest…

Again, at this point in my life, it’s vanishingly unlikely that I’ll be able to lose a lot of weight and achieve the chiseled physique that’s escaped me thus far. But there are other large, gray-haired men who have successfully solved the handsomeness problem.

Yes, other than Santa Claus.

And what do they have that I don’t? Aside from money and self-confidence?

They dress well.

Because I’m built more or less like a walrus, I find it hard to find good, adult clothing off the rack. So, a few months ago, I had an inspiration; I went to a tailor and had myself professionally measured, then ordered some bespoke clothing from a couple of online tailors. It turns out that I can afford nice clothing if I don’t actually go to a clothing store.

I ordered a vest from a tailor in the United Kingdom who specializes in Jane Austen-era clothing. It is far and away the nicest piece of clothing I own and will, inevitably, leave me for a classier fat guy. It had to be disappointed that I wore it to work its first time out, instead of an awards banquet or a royal horse race.

But it has inspired me to reformulate a classic British cocktail, the Tailor Made:

Internet Tailor

¼ ounce honey syrup (See below.)

1½ ounces bourbon – I’m still using Evan Williams. I like it.

½ ounce St. Germain, an elderflower liqueur

1 ounce fresh-squeezed pink grapefruit juice

1 ounce pomegranate juice

Dry-shake (without ice) the honey syrup and bourbon in a cocktail shaker to mix them thoroughly.

Add ice and the other ingredients. Shake until very cold.

Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a strip of grapefruit peel.

The key to this cocktail is the relatively modest amount of bourbon, which allows the drink to taste grown up but not too assertive. The very sour juices are balanced by the flavors of elderflower and honey. It is best drunk bracingly cold.

You may or may not look handsome drinking this, but you will feel at least 40 percent more handsome.

Honey syrup

Essentially this is a classic simple syrup but made with honey instead of white sugar. The better the honey you use, the classier your cocktails will taste.

Ingredients: Equal parts, by weight, of honey and water.

Add the honey and water to a small saucepan and heat over medium heat.

Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally.

Boil for 10 to 20 seconds, to make sure that the honey is completely dissolved.

Remove from heat, cool and bottle. Make sure you label your bottle and keep it in your refrigerator for a month or so.

Featured photo: A handsome drink. Photos courtesy of John Fladd.

Trillium and some random hoppy beers

You’ve got to respect the hops

Because she’s a hero, my wife made a reservation at Trillium Brewing Co.’s Canton, Mass., location. And because she’s a hero and made the reservation, we didn’t have to wait in line.

For those who have never been, like myself up until a couple weeks ago: It’s an impressive spot with an expansive indoor/outdoor facility right off the highway about 20 minutes or so outside of Boston. With an incredible variety of fresh, delicious and unique brews, it’s no wonder RateBeer.com currently has Trillium tabbed as the fourth-best brewery in the world.

If you can time it right or if your partner is also a hero and makes a reservation (you need to have a party of at least six), then it’s absolutely worth the drive. Not only is the beer incredible; the food is terrific as well — we ate way too much scrumptious pizza.

I’d had a couple Trillium brews over the years but I couldn’t remember which ones. I started with a Summer Street IPA, which is wonderful, featuring big citrus and pine flavors in a pretty dry and crisp overall package.

My wife went with the Barrel-Aged Affrogato, which is hands-down the most decadent beer I’ve ever sipped, with huge notes of bourbon, vanilla, coffee and sweet brown sugar.

Sticking with hoppy beers, I tried the Double Dry Hopped Stillings Street, which is another super aromatic IPA characterized by an array of melony aromas and flavors, a soft mouthfeel and borderline nonexistent bitterness.

I rounded it out with the Mosaic Free Rise, a dry-hopped saison, which is a bit of a departure for me, but this was delightful. Crisp, fruity, dry and a little spicy, Free Rise is one of the brewery’s signature saisons.

I felt like I sufficiently experienced the brewery’s hoppy beers, but on another trip, I’d want to better explore Trillium’s array of imperial stouts, like the Coffee Cake Imperial Stout and the Barrel-Aged German Chocolate Cake Doughnut Imperial Stout, most of which land north of 13 percent ABV, just so you know.

Trillium also features a big list of wild ales that deserve your attention as well.

As we left, the line had grown considerably. If you can’t make a reservation, my advice is to get there early — they open at noon on Saturday. You don’t want to be in that line.

Trillium was terrific and I have to be honest, I’ve been all about the hops lately. Here are three hoppy beers I’ve enjoyed over the past few weeks.

Lush Double IPA by Frost Beer Works (Hinesburg, Vermont)

This is rich and juicy and that’s not a typo. I’m not used to referring to an IPA as rich but this one is. It’s velvety smooth and boasts a big-time citrus flavor. You might have to track this down in Vermont or in a beer store just over the border in Massachusetts — and you should track this down.

Full Clip NEIPA by Stoneface Brewing Co. (Newington)

I hadn’t had this New England IPA in a long time and the first sip reminded me why I like it so much: juicy, vibrant and drinkable. It’s an explosion of tropical and citrus flavor but in an overall package that is quite approachable.

Victory Nor Defeat by Able Ebenezer Brewing Co. (Merrimack)

This double IPA is a wonderful rendition of a West Coast IPA that hits you with big flavor, including plenty of piney hop character and a delightful bitterness.

What’s in my fridge

Giant Pumpkin Imperial Pumpkin Ale by Greater Good Imperial Brewing Co. (Worcester, Mass.) If you don’t like pumpkin, move along. This is an absolute bomb of pumpkin flavor. It’s a little sweet, it’s a little spicy and it’s exceptionally smooth. Despite its relatively high ABV at 8 percent, it drinks very easily — it’s a little dangerous, honestly. I’m hit or miss on pumpkin beers but this was a decided hit. Cheers!

Featured photo: Lush Double IPA by Frost Beer Works. Photo courtesy of Jeff Mucciarone

The Trick or Treat Margarita

There’s a guy who lives about a block over who goes all out for Halloween — the one who puts cobwebs all over his front porch and hides speakers, so he can play moans, or the sound of clanking chains, or Alice in Chains, or something similarly unnerving. There will be fake gravestones all over his front yard, and maybe a mottled, fiberglass hand forcing itself out from the ground. This was the guy who rigged a 15-foot tube from his second-floor window last year to slide candy to trick-or-treaters.

That seems like it would be exhausting.

And there’s the family down the street who dress up in themed costumes every year. Dad might be Chef Boyardee, Mom is a sexy can opener or something, the toddler is covered in tangled yarn and is spaghetti, and the baby is a meatball.

Seriously, there’s not enough therapy in the world to make that worthwhile.

There are the kids in their 20s at work who have been spending the last few weeks putting together extremely niche costumes to wear to excessively hip parties:

“No, you wouldn’t have heard of her — she’s a really obscure secondary character from Hello Kitty, but the joke is, I’m telling everyone that I’m wearing Korean underwear, but I’m not actually wearing ANY underwear!”

Presumably there will be a lot of drinking and associated lifelong regrets involved. That sort of thing is behind you; you promised yourself, “never again” after the Battlestar Galactica debacle of 2010.

So, what’s your role in Halloween this year?

Judging a reality competition show.

What you will need:

• 2 lawn chairs

• a best friend

• candy

• raspberry margaritas (See below.)

The object of the game is to pretend each trick-or-treater is a contestant on a costume competition show. You are the judges and neither of you entirely understands the rules. You can greet each kid with a slightly bewildering compliment:

“Batman! The little-black-dress of the costume world! You pull it off effortlessly, darling!”

“Charizard! Pokémon is so last season, but you make it work. I choose you, Little Man!”

To a parent: “Are you her manager? Make sure she gets this outfit trademarked.”

To the teenager with a pillowcase and no costume: “I’m sorry, we’re going to have to send you home this week. The others just wanted it more.”

Will the children be amused?

Not even remotely.

Will you and your friend?

More with each successive margarita.

Raspberry Margarita

2 ounces blanco tequila – I like Hornito’s for this.

1 ounce fresh squeezed lime juice

1 ounce raspberry syrup (See below.)

Combine all ingredients over ice in a cocktail shaker.

Shake enthusiastically.

Serve in whatever glass you feel like, from a standard martini glass, to a rocks glass, to a vintage Flinstones jelly jar.

The beauty of this drink is that while it is blood-red and seasonally spooky-looking, it is a straightforward margarita. There are only three ingredients, and it takes about 30 seconds to make. The bracing, smoky, slightly musky taste of tequila is balanced by the sweetness of the raspberry syrup. The raspberry flavor gives this drink a fruity roundness, without ever making it candy-like. If you want candy, you’ve got a giant, plastic bowl of it next to you.

Raspberry Syrup

Frozen raspberries

White sugar

Combine a bag of grocery store frozen raspberries with an equal amount (by weight) of sugar in a small saucepan.

Cook over medium heat. As the berries thaw, the sugar will pull out a surprising amount of juice.

Bring to a boil. Boil for 15 to 20 seconds to make sure all the sugar has dissolved.

Let the mixture cool, then strain it through a fine-meshed strainer. It will keep in the refrigerator for a month or so.

Featured photo: The Trick or Treat Margarita. Photo by John Fladd.

Ribs and wine

Add a fire pit and you have a party

The color of fall is all about us. The sun is bright and the sky is blue. This weather welcomes fall sports and backyard gatherings and tailgating. Yes, it is cool, and sometimes a bit blustery, but we still welcome the opportunity to relax for an afternoon or evening with friends and great barbecue fare paired to robust wines.

This last week we hosted a very small group of friends in our backyard to relax and exchange stories of happenings since our last get-together a month ago. We told them all to dress warmly as we will gather around the table, lit by an old Coleman propane camping light, adjacent to the fire pit. It was great.

So what is an appropriate menu for a fall backyard party? Something hearty like barbecued ribs with cornbread, along with sides of vegetable salads and pasta. Our recipe for ribs is a variation on the classic. In addition to the ketchup, brown sugar and Worcestershire sauce, we add ginger and lemon for a clean, tart flavor that is softened with the addition of orange juice. Our cornbread comes from a recipe of Blanchard’s Caribbean Cornbread a close friend found online. It is incredibly rich with butter, corn and cheese. This fare goes well beyond a summer barbecue menu. It is hearty and needs wines that will stand up to it: zinfandels and syrahs.

Our first wine is the 7 Deadly Zins, a 2017 old-vine vintage from Lodi, available at the New Hampshire Wine & Liquor Stores (originally priced at $18.99, reduced to $13.99). This wine is blended from seven Old Vine zinfandels. According to their website, the wine “was born from a Catholic school upbringing and the winemaker’s lust for a hedonistically seductive wine.” Seven specific vineyards were chosen for this wine, all located in the Lodi AVA (American Viticultural Area). The zinfandel grapes are blended with a touch of petite syrah, then aged in American oak for 11 months. The color is dark red to purple, with lots of rich, red berry fruit to the nose. The oak imparts a touch of leather or tannins to the tongue with layers of plum, currants and toffee, all ending in a long slightly spicy finish.

Lodi is in the northern reaches of the San Joaquin Valley, east of San Francisco. The AVA, of more than 500,000 acres, of which more than 100,000 acres are planted, is best known for its old vine zinfandel. However, with its warm “Mediterranean-like” climate of hot days and cool nights, Lodi also produces large quantities of merlot, chardonnay, cabernet sauvignon and sauvignon blanc.

Our second wine comes from “across the pond” in the Rhône River Valley of France. Jean-Luc Colombo 2016 Terres Brulées Cornas Syrah (available at the New Hampshire Wine & Liquor Stores, originally priced at $57.99, reduced to $29.99) has been given a rating of 95 points by Wine Enthusiast and 92 points by Wine Spectator. This is a wine that all but asks to be picked up now and cellared, because it will continue to improve for another five or more years. The color is a thick ruby black with purple hints. To the nose there is plenty of fruit that continues to the tongue with ripe cassis, or black currant, and black cherry notes. Just as with the nose, to the tongue the fruit is intense, a bit of vanilla, along with moderate tannins. This wine will age well into the future.

The winemaker team of Jean-Luc and Anne Colombo have a background in pharmaceutical science and a passion for the syrah grape. The wine is made from vines that are over 30 years old from 20 different vineyards. Aged for 21 months in oak barrels, the wine is fined with egg whites and bottled unfiltered.

So don’t put the yard furniture away just yet. We still have sunny days and plenty of opportunity to get together with family and friends to enjoy the cooler weather with hearty fare paired to rich, hearty wines. Grab a blanket and light that fire pit to enjoy the moment into the evening.

Featured photo: Photo by Fred Matuszewski.

Baseball and beers

There’s something about fall ball

“Are you OK?” my wife asked.

I was gripping — white-knuckling — our living room coffee table as the Red Sox clung to a slim lead in the eighth inning of Game 4 of the division round of the Major League Baseball playoffs.

I was not OK. While I’ve increasingly become a fair-weather Red Sox fan as the game has evolved to be (too) heavily focused on analytics, rather than the good old-fashioned eye test, this was still the playoffs and this was still the Red Sox.

I took a pretty hefty swallow of my beer, in this case a Patina Pale Ale by Austin Street Brewery in Portland, Maine, and took a deep breath. It didn’t help, as the Sox quickly gave up three straight hits to allow the Tampa Bay Rays to tie the game. By now you know the Sox ended up winning so all’s well that ends well. But you get it. Things were dicey in the moment.

There is something about the flow of a baseball game that lends itself to drinking. It’s actually not that complicated. In addition to inning breaks, there’s a little mini break after each pitch that begs for a sip of beer.

If you do like baseball, fair-weather fan or not, there is something truly special about October baseball. It is so intense. The game hangs in the balance on every pitch. Beer does help with calming the nerves for overly intense viewers like myself.

Now that said, in a close playoff game, you’re not going to be paying close attention to your beer. I don’t think pulling out the most coveted can or bottle in your beer fridge is a great move in the middle of the game — you’re just not going to be able to appreciate it as much as you should because your attention is going to be on the game. (Save it for the post-game celebration.)

That’s not to say I think you should drink something lousy either. I’m just suggesting you choose something you don’t have to think about as much.

Super-hoppy beers are great but they tend to be high in alcohol and I feel the need to remind you that baseball games can run very, very long. The team needs you there for the ninth inning.

Big stouts and porters can be a nice choice but I wouldn’t bother with overly complex brews — again, you’re just not going to be able to take the time to pay attention to layers of complexity.

For game time, I’m looking for something simple. I’m talking Pilsners, pale ales and dry stouts. Maybe toss in an amber ale or something along those lines. I still want the beer to taste good but I don’t want to contemplate its nuances.

Here are three New Hampshire beers that I think pair quite well with October baseball.

Auburn American Red Ale by Able Ebenezer Brewing Co. (Merrimack)

The pour on this is quite dark but don’t let that fool you: This is about as sessionable a beer as they come. The brewery describes it as “smooth, crisp and satisfying” and I can’t do better than that.

Hank’s Pale Ale by Throwback Brewery (North Hampton)

This has a nice backbone of grapefruit in a very crisp and dry package. You’ll want to have a couple of these, regardless of how the game is going.

Dirty Blonde Ale by Portsmouth Brewery (Portsmouth)

Take a sip, don’t think about it and repeat. This light-bodied ale is a perfect choice when you just want a beer that tastes like a beer.

What’s in My Fridge
Pale Ale by Navigation Brewing Co. (Lowell, Mass.)
First, we should talk about the fact that I love that this brewery just left the name as “Pale Ale.” I love the simplicity. I enjoyed the beer right in its taproom, which is a neat spot in an old mill building. The beer was fresh and clean and featured some light grapefruit notes — very sessionable. Cheers!

Featured photo: Beer and Red Sox playoff baseball. Courtesy photo.

Santa Lucia sips

This California region’s wines deserve a closer look

When one thinks of American wines, what first come to mind are the Napa and Sonoma valleys. While they produce exceptional wines, consideration should also be given to the Santa Lucia Highlands.

Proclaimed as its own American Viticultural Area (AVA) in 1991, this is an area of east-facing terraces of the Santa Lucia Mountain range, to the south of the breezy Monterey Bay. An area approximately 18 miles long and 1 to 2 miles wide, the 22,000 acres of the AVA are planted in 6,400 acres to primarily pinot noir and chardonnay grapes, the balance of the AVA being an unplantable mountainside.

Cloudy mornings, midday sunshine with strong winds, and evening fog create a cool climate, allowing for a long growing season, resulting in gentle ripening that ensures intense flavors with balanced acidity in the grapes.

What better place to sample some of the best chardonnays and pinot noirs than to check out Morgan Winery’s production of Santa Lucia Highlands wines? While I hardly need an excuse to enjoy two of my favorite varietals, the New Hampshire Liquor & Wine Outlet’s current sale of 15 percent off 12 or more bottles of chardonnay and pinot noir (running through Oct. 31) is certainly an incentive to seriously look them over.

Dan Morgan Lee came from a small town in California’s Central Valley. He had prepared initially for the study of veterinary medicine at the University of California, Davis, but while at college he discovered enology (the study of wines) and enrolled in the graduate program. Upon graduation in 1978 he became a winemaker at Jekel Winery in Monterey County. In 1982 Dan and his wife, Donna, opened the doors of Morgan Winery. Initially producing wines from purchased grapes, in 1996 Dan and Donna realized their dream by purchasing their own vineyard, named the “Double L” for their Double Luck twin daughters. Today Morgan Winery is known to produce consistent award-winning wines.

Our first wine, the 2019 Morgan Metallico Un-oaked Santa Lucia Highlands Chardonnay (originally priced at $18.99, reduced to $16.99), is light and bright and a great way to start this great trilogy of finely crafted wines. This is chardonnay in its purest form, unadorned by oak. The grapes are primarily sourced from Morgan’s “Double L” and mixed with grapes from three other vineyards. The grapes are cold tank fermented and not allowed to go through a secondary malolactic fermentation, thus keeping the bright crispness of pineapple and vanilla to the nose, with pear and some mild lemon citric flavors, producing a long finish to the tongue. This bright acidity is perfect for pairing with shellfish and light fare.

Our second wine, the 2018 Morgan Highland Santa Lucia Highlands Chardonnay (originally priced at $23.99, reduced to $20.99) focuses on classic crème brûlée, walnuts and butterscotch. The grapes for this cuvée come from the Double L vineyard and two of its neighbors. After pressing, the grapes were barrel fermented in 26 percent new French oak, with partial malolactic fermentation imparting a wonderful creamy richness, with a slight acidity to the tongue. To the nose the wine has slight citric notes, countered by caramel. The creaminess to the tongue is enhanced by apple and pear. This is a wine that is perfectly matched to cream-sauced pasta or pork.

Our third wine, the 2018 Morgan Twelve Clones Santa Lucia Highlands Pinot Noir (originally priced at $31.99, reduced to $27.99), portrays the finesse of a great pinot noir with its aromas of blackberries and herbs. The grapes for this wine come from the original pinot plantings of the “Double L” estate, joined by grapes of neighboring vineyards. To the tongue the red and black berry fruit is complemented by dark plum and a bit of leather from the nine-month aging in toasted French oak barrels, of which 35 percent are new. This is a wine that can span a pairing of grilled chicken or salmon to beef or lamb.

These wines are inventoried throughout the state stores, waiting to be appreciated.

Featured photo: Courtesy photo.

The Secret Exit

The first time I made my new commute, I used a GPS app to get to work and spent my time worrying about whether I was driving fast enough but not too fast and whether the guy in the truck with all the bumper stickers actually hunts that much big game or this is all some sort of elaborate role-playing for him.

The second time I drove there, I vaguely remembered that I needed to take Exit 9 off the highway. As I drove past Exit 10, I made a mental note to keep my eye out for signs for the next exit.

Somehow, I found myself at Exit 8.

That’s odd, I thought, I must have really lost myself in singing along to that Lionel Richie cover. I couldn’t be very far from where I wanted to get off the highway, so I decided to take the exit, then circle back if I needed to.

But it turned out to be the exit I actually wanted. Weird though, how I missed Exit 9. I decided to look for it on my way home that night.

I missed it again. This time I blamed Whitesnake and visions of Tawny Kitaen dancing on the hood of a Jaguar.

I didn’t see Exit 9 the next day. This time, I blamed the podcast I was listening to. Not to go into too many details, but it turns out that pigeons are fascinating.

As one week turned into the next, though, even I couldn’t be absent-minded enough to forget about Exit 9 every single time.

It turns out, there is no Exit 9, southbound or northbound. Just a suspiciously uninteresting stretch of highway. I wondered if this was one of those no-13th-floor-in-a-hotel things, but I had vague memories of other Exit 9s on other highways so that probably wasn’t it.

I started to research the missing exit, but I stopped short when I realized that any answer I found would be a dry, profoundly boring, bureaucratic answer that would strip away another layer of my rapidly diminishing sense of childlike joy and wonder. It would have something to do with zoning, or population density, or a ballot referendum or something.

In other words, exactly the sort of cover story the government would cook up to cover the secret entrance to a covert military base, or an academy for mutants, or the entrance to an underground facility where they train sexy kung fu accountants or something. In other words, something I’m probably better off not knowing about.

But, you might ask, would the government actually be dumb enough to go to all that work and still mess up on the exit’s numbering?

Have you met our government?

It’s enough to make a vigilant citizen need a cocktail.

The Secret Exit

This is a riff on a classic drink called a Missing Link. It’s extremely simple, but also suspiciously difficult to remember the details of.

What was I supposed to pick up at the liquor store?, you might ask yourself. I really like that new drink and I’ve used up all the … all the … you know, the stuff that’s like triple sec, but not triple sec?

Almost like an agent in a black suit had hypnotized you, or something.

Ingredients

2 ounces really good rum – the best you’ve got

¾ ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice

¾ ounce orange curaçao

5 drops rose water

Wet a martini glass and put it upside-down in the freezer to frost.

Add all ingredients, with ice, to a shaker. Shake, until unbearably cold.

Strain into your frosted glass.

This is one of those drinks that is at its best when you start with it blisteringly cold. At the first sip, it might seem the slightest bit too acidic. You might wonder if you should have added some simple syrup or something to mellow it out. Subsequent sips will taste more and more well-rounded, though, as it warms up and the rose esters start to hit your palate. You will make a mental note to make this drink more often.

Let’s see if you can remember to.

Featured photo: Courtesy photo.

Portland beer tour

Maine and beer are a thing

Is there a better place in the world for beer than Portland, Maine?

Aside from just very high-quality, very fresh beer straight from the brewery or close to it, the proximity is off the charts. There are a few different spots where your trusty Uber driver can deposit you and you can just bounce from brewery to brewery to brewery on foot.

I’m not saying you should be having multiple beers at each brewery or even one beer at each brewery, but that’s just pretty cool. There’s something more relaxed about the brewery scene too — it’s much more laid back than walking into a bar, although Portland is pretty laid back regardless.

During a very recent visit to Belleflower Brewery in Portland, I counted approximately a dozen dogs and even more babies. Not really on the babies but you get the point: dog-friendly, family-friendly, you know, friendly.

If you like beer, regardless of style, it’s just a place you need to go at some point. Even if you’re not into hopping from brewery to brewery, there are countless tremendous bars and pubs featuring a wide array of the local brews so you can still experience the area’s top beer.

OK, this isn’t an advertorial. I just went to Portland a couple weeks ago and I’m still excited. That’s all.

Here are some highlights from my most recent Portland excursion. Is it going to be IPA-heavy? Yes it is.

Magpie Pale Ale by Belleflower Brewery

Belleflower, which was new to me, was one of the gems of the trip: great beer across the board. Loved this particular beer — super easy to drink and incredibly flavorful. This New England pale ale is very piney and boasts big grapefruit flavor. Magpie is Belleflower’s flagship brew and I suspect you’ll want to have a couple of these.

Abstract Object Milk Stout by Battery Steele Brewing

After a sea of IPAs, this was a welcome change of pace, featuring rich, dark malts and robust notes of dark chocolate and toffee. This is a decadent brew. The brewery also featured a version of this with Madagascar vanilla that I didn’t get to try.

Assume Positive Intent by Bissell Brothers Brewing

Bissell is the one brewery in Portland that makes me nervous. Not because I’m questioning the beer but because I’m terrified I’ll have to wait in line. I need not have been concerned as its tap room was, honestly, a little quiet. I liked that personally. I dubbed this the beer of the trip very early in the weekend and it may still have come out on top. This is delicious, exploding with tropical citrus flavor in a very drinkable package.

Portals Sour Ale by Definitive Brewing Co.

Another brewery that was new to me, Definitive cranks out a series of sour ales with its Portals series. This sour ale was brewed with Maine Blueberries and the blueberries are basically trying to jump out of the glass this brew is so flavorful. Not too tart, I’d definitely hand this to someone who says they don’t like sours.

Prime IPA by Goodfire Brewing Co.

This is like my dream IPA. It’s hazy, although I wouldn’t call it juicy. I might even call it dry with a fresh, fruity brightness. As the brewery says, this is an “all day kinda beer.”

What’s in my fridge

Glass DDH IPA by Northwoods Brewing Co. (Northwood)
My wife picked this up for me because the fishing-themed label has a fishing “fly” on it. She made the right call, not just because the label is beautifully done. This IPA is bursting with tropical flavor, including pineapple and melon, and finishes a little sweet (in a good way). I wasn’t familiar with this brewery but I will make sure to familiarize myself. Cheers!

Featured photo: Courtesy photo.

Lady in Blue

When I was extremely young, my father was a big fan of easy listening music. His favorite song was called “I Want Some Red Roses for a Blue Lady.” I remember this song as being awful.

Yesterday I thought of it for some reason and looked it up. It turns out that Wayne Newton recorded it in 1965. As I called it up on YouTube, I knew that I would listen to it and realize that now, as I hobble into late middle age, it would actually be pretty good. I would find myself enjoying it and that a week from now it would be on the driving playlist I use to torture my teenager.

As it turns out, it’s even worse than I remembered from my childhood. The trauma from hearing this as a kid must have forced the worst of it from my memory. Even I wouldn’t inflict this on The Teen.

On the topic of questionable decisions from the 1960s, I was reading through 1969’s The Esquire Drink Book, looking for a new cocktail recipe. When it comes to Mad Men-era, charming-but-arrogant drink recipes, Esquire had a bit of a corner on the market.

The recipe that grabbed my attention had a name so of its time that even after I read through it, said, “Nah!” and flipped past it, I kept returning to it: The Bosom Caresser. I mean, if you’re looking for a Swinging Sixties, Wayne Newton on the hi-fi, “My wife doesn’t understand me” type of drink, this seemed like a no-brainer.

Long story short: I ended up making it and it was OK. It was not spectacular and I don’t think I’ll make it again. The combination of brandy, marsala wine and raw egg yolk did not fill me with enthusiasm.

(That said, I did find out the hard way that if you do make a cocktail with a raw egg yolk in it, you should dry-shake it with the alcohol first, before adding the ice. Dropping a yolk into a shaker full of ice will make some of it freeze and you will end up with really unappetizing globs of it floating around in your drink that you will need to filter out before serving. We know that now.)

So where does that leave us?

In my case, invigorated from a long hot shower, to wash the sleaze off me and the memory of Wayne Newton out of my memory. As an antidote, here is the classiest drink I know:

Lady in Blue

Ingredients

1½ ounces very cold gin

¼ ounce créme de violette

¾ ounce fresh squeezed lemon juice

½ ounce simple syrup

3 drops orange blossom water

A “slip” of blue curaçao

Combine all ingredients, except the blue curaçao, with ice in a cocktail shaker.

Shake until frost forms on the shaker and your hands become uncomfortably cold.

Strain into a martini glass. This is one occasion where you should not frost the glass first; you will want to show this cocktail off. The frosted glass would mess with that.

Pour a small slip of blue curaçao down one side of the glass. It is denser than the rest of the drink and will pool in the bottom of the glass.

While this is a delicious cocktail — crisp, gently sweet, subtly floral and just ginny enough to grab your attention — this is probably the prettiest drink you will ever make. If you find yourself needing to impress somebody, this is the drink to make. It’s gorgeous without making it seem like you’ve tried too hard.

Featured photo: Lady in Blue. Photo by John Fladd.

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