A newly minted 18-year-old is suddenly confronted with her 39-year-old self in My Old Ass, a very sweet coming-of-age comedy.
Elliot (Maisy Stella) has gone to the woods with her two best buddies to celebrate her birthday by taking mushrooms. Her friends seem to be seeing euphoric discos; Elliot is stuck sitting by the campfire complaining nothing is happening. And then Elliot (Aubrey Plaza) shows up. Old Elliot is bemused by Young Elliot, who is initially shocked but then wants to know, like, what stocks to buy so they can be rich in 20 years and what awesome things might happen to her. Old Elliot is wary of messing with the future too much but she does tell Young Elliot to spend more time with her family, to please wear her retainer and to stay away from anyone named Chad. Elliot doesn’t know a Chad — until she meets her dad’s summer worker on the family cranberry farm and he is, of course, Chad (Percy Hynes White).
Elliot, who has always been attracted to women, is shocked to learn she’s attracted to the potentially troublesome Chad. While dealing with this confusion, she is also approaching the big life change of heading to college. She has always been eager to leave her family’s farm and small town but now that it is a reality she finds herself full of conflicting emotions.
My Old Ass thinks a lot about last times — the last time you do a thing and whether you know when you’re doing it that it is the end of something. Some lasts sneak up on you — the last time Elliot’s mom (Maria Dizzia) rocked a toddler Elliot to sleep. Some, like the last times Elliot is suddenly encountering as she prepares to leave for college and have her “life start,” as she says, are clearly last times and she has to deal with all the bittersweetness of them while in the middle of them. My Old Ass approaches this — life transitions, what we miss and how we deal with it all — with genuine emotion and melancholy-tinged sweetness while also being funny and having just the right touch when it comes to the older-self-talks-to-younger-self aspect of the story. Great performances all around help sell the realness of this world, with special kudos to Stella. A
Rated R for language throughout, drug use and sexual material, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Written and directed by Megan Park, My Old Ass is an hour and 29 minutes long and distributed by Amazon MGM Studios. It is available for rent or purchase and is streaming on Amazon Prime Video.
The Substance (R)
Demi Moore gives a very good, frequently quite funny performance in the goofy body horror The Substance.
Aging star Elisabeth Sparkle (Moore) attempts to recapture the “best version” of herself with an underground treatment called the Substance. The neon green serum does not lift and tighten — it pushes a whole new younger, flawless version of yourself out of you, violently, creating a seam down the back that this new person has to sew up. The operating rule of the Substance is seven days on, seven days off — the perfect Substance-created version of yourself gets to be for seven days while the older you sleeps. In seven days, you must switch back. Both versions are “you” and the younger version needs a “stabilizer” (fluid syringed out of the older version’s back) to continue existing.
Sue (Margaret Qualley), Elisabeth’s “best version,” is able to win a spot as the host of the exercise show Elisabeth was just fired from and is quickly getting spots on billboards. When Elisabeth reawakens she is both proud of what her alter has accomplished and, very quickly, jealous. Later Sue’s carelessness with the seven-day-switch rule has immediate and disturbing consequences for Elisabeth.
The Substance has lots of tight shots gleefully highlighting the grossness of the human body even before the movie’s final third, when what feels like a tidy dark comedy horror about beauty, age and media takes a hard left turn into total bonkers territory. Like so bonkers that the movie pushes past where you think it will stop, enters a new realm of absolute lunacy and then keeps going, so that actually by the end I kinda respected the whole crazy circus of gore the movie became. What holds it together throughout is Moore, who really does some solid work here with both the desperation Elisabeth feels (and that the Substance exacerbates) and the movie’s comedy. B+
Available for rent or purchase and streaming on Mubi.
The 4:30 Movie (R)
Kevin Smith makes his The Fabelmans with The 4:30 Movie, a nostalgia-rich tale of teenage friendship and love and ye old 1980s pre-stadium-seating movie theaters.
Ben David (Austin Zajur) gets up the courage to ask Melody Barnegat (Siena Agudong), a girl he likes but ghosted after he got nervous when they kissed, to the 4:30 screening of what sounds like a middling detective movie — their local theater in suburban New Jersey isn’t playing Poltergeist II, the current hot ticket. The screening will come in the middle of a day of movies Ben has planned with his friends, dork Belly (Reed Northup) and dork-who-wants-so-badly-to-seem-greaser-cool Burny (Nicholas Cirillo). Belly seems perfectly happy for Ben but Burny is clearly nervous about how it will change the friendship dynamic. In addition to friend friction, obstacles to Ben’s romantic movie moment include a power-drunk cineplex owner (Ken Jeong), assorted burnout theater employees and Ben’s and Melody’s parents.
From the lingering shots of the post-rotary push-button desk phone to jokes about the surely-finished-forever Star Wars trilogy, The 4:30 Movie is all about the gooey nostalgia for a very specific late 1980s time and place and for the impact it had on Smith’s life. Actually, just how Fabelmans-y this movie is becomes ever more apparent as the movie goes on, culminating in a fun little credits scene. This much Kevin Smith-itude might not be for everyone but I thoroughly enjoyed it. B
Available for rent or purchase.