At a religious ceremony last weekend, in the beautiful woods of New Hampshire, the priest counseled us to come together across our differences and to pray for one another. While that sentiment seemed reasonable among the small group of relatively like-minded folks gathered in the snow that morning, I realized it was directed ultimately not just to us but beyond, even nationally across our country. The challenge of that admonition was for each of us to look above what divides us to what we have in common. But in all honesty, that’s hard to do when so much of what has happened recently seems inevitably to drive us even further apart.
Tonight, as I write this, while watching the memorial service for the victims of the pandemic who were grieved at the National Mall, and especially when the 400 lights came on along the Reflecting Pool, each one casting a reflection in the shimmering water, as if to ripple out through each glistening reflection the individuality of every single tragically lost life from families across our nation, it became so very clear that that truly is what we have in common.
For regardless of partisan identity, as human beings we all grieve the loss of our loved ones.
In that other, almost religious service this evening, we were counseled, “To heal, we must remember. It’s hard sometimes to remember.” Yes, it is hard to look beyond the tragedy of our personal losses: the deaths of those who didn’t die with their families at their side, who died in the compassionate care of nurses and doctors who maybe knew them only by name and brief acquaintance, but who gave them tender ministration in our place. Yes, to hold that sorrow and look around to so many others with whom we share loss and to remember they, too, are our brothers and sisters.
Ancient wisdom tells us that “Nothing is as strong as a heart that has been broken.” Might this nation of broken hearts look up through our pain and remember who we are?
Rituals are things we do as a community at times of profound change and deep feeling. They can bind us up as individuals, but they can also urge us as fellow human beings to lift one another up. Truly, this I believe.