Helping families cope

A funeral director talks about the impact of Covid-19

The Covid-19 pandemic put funeral homes in a unique predicament; while the increased number of deaths in the state led to an increased demand for end-of-life services, emergency orders from the governor significantly limited the services that the funeral homes could provide. Buddy Phaneuf, fourth-generation funeral director and president of Phaneuf Funeral Homes & Crematorium, which has five locations throughout New Hampshire and Vermont, discussed how funeral homes and families of deceased have been getting through the pandemic, and how funeral arrangements will be handled moving forward.

What restrictions were put on funeral homes during the state’s Stay-at-Home Order?

We were considered an essential business, so we were never legally mandated to close. … The original restrictions imposed by the state up until Monday [June 15] were that gatherings or services at funeral homes had to have under 10 people. We were also affected by restrictions on churches — a lot of them were closed and not allowing services — and cemeteries, which, at one point, only allowed two people to gather close to a grave.

What restrictions are in place now that the Stay-at-Home Order has been lifted?

The governor is limiting funeral homes to [using] 50 percent of their capacity, but we’re still not comfortable having that [many people]. Our main location in Manchester can accommodate 400 people. That means we are still allowed to have as many as 200 people there, and you just can’t effectively [enforce] social distance with 200 people. We’re doing everything on a case-by-case basis right now based on what makes the most practical sense for us. … We’re also doing all the common-sense stuff: social distancing, wearing masks, providing hand sanitizer, cleaning public rooms multiple times a day, using signage and multiple entrances and exits to manage the flow [of visitors].

What are some of the biggest challenges funeral homes have had to face during the pandemic?

Nearly a third of New Hampshire’s Covid-positive patients [who died] came through one of our facilities. Dealing with an extra 40 to 50 deaths a month is significant, plus all of the mixed messages we were getting from state, national and international [health organizations] about how Covid is spread. Can you get Covid from a deceased body? Can you have an open casket [service] for a deceased Covid patient? Some [health organizations] were saying one thing, and others were saying something else. … Another thing is that our staff has been on the frontlines [of the pandemic]. … They’ve had to go to homes where a person may have died of Covid, and the family members in those homes could potentially have Covid. We didn’t always have all of the PPEs [personal protective equipment] … so funeral home staff really put their neck on the line.

How has the pandemic impacted funeral homes, business-wise?

Funeral homes aren’t unique; they’ve been just as impacted by this pandemic as restaurants and retail shops and so many other businesses [have]. … We’ve lost hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue. … Even though we’ve been serving more families, the families are downgrading their services. Instead of a traditional funeral, they’re doing a cremation. Instead of having a wake, they’re just going to the cemetery. The flowers, the limos, the processions people aren’t doing that right now, and funeral homes rely on that to pay their basic expenses. … The reality is, a lot of the smaller mom-and-pop funeral homes have not been able to cover their expenses, and they will have to close.

How have families been handling funeral arrangements during the pandemic?

It runs the gamut. Some people want to have the big public service at a church with a big wake and a luncheon, so they’ve decided to wait a few months until they can have that. Other people didn’t want to delay things or drag things on for months. They said, ‘It is what it is, and we need to deal with it,’ and they had a small, private service. Some people decided to do a private service now and are planning to do a more public, celebration-of-life event later on.

Have you been able to accommodate families with special requests or unique circumstances during this time?

[We have been] thinking outside the box and coming up with some really interesting and creative ideas. … In one case, we had an open casket for a young person who passed away, and there were 200 people here. Of course, we couldn’t let 200 people in, so we let 10 people in at a time, and it was a whole-day event, but that was what we needed to do to help [the deceased’s] family and friends grieve and say goodbye. … We also have a camera in our chapel, so we’ve been able to do some livestream services. Families can either just watch the service or … we can set them up on Zoom. We actually did that for an immigrant family who wanted to have an overnight vigil because that’s part of their customs and traditions, but of course everyone couldn’t spend the night together, and a lot of family members were still in their native country, so we set up a camera in front of the casket with a Zoom [session]. Around 50 or 60 family members signed in over the course of the evening.

News & Notes 20/06/25

Governor’s updates

Covid-19 updateAs of June 15As of June 22
Total cases statewide5,3455,558
Total current infections statewide984929
Total deaths statewide320339
New cases321 (June 9 – June 15)233 (June 16 – June 22)
Current infections: Hillsborough County621586
Current infections: Merrimack County7466
Current infections: Rockingham County199185
Information from the New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services

On June 16, Sununu issued Executive Order 2020-11, establishing the New Hampshire Commission on Law Enforcement Accountability, Community and Transparency. According to a press release, the commission is composed of members of the public, representatives of the NAACP and the ACLU, as well as members of the state’s Police Standards and Training Council and Commission for Human Rights. The newly established commission is being given 45 days to engage with stakeholders in the community and develop recommendations for reforms to enhance transparency, accountability and community relations in law enforcement in the state. Its report will be posted publicly on the governor’s website.

On June 17, Sununu issued Emergency Order No. 53, an amendment to Emergency Order No. 36, which had been issued on April 24, ensuring worker’s compensation coverage of state first responders who have been exposed to the coronavirus. Per Emergency Order No. 53, “first responder” includes any individual covered by the definition of “emergency response/public safety” worker and any member of the New Hampshire National Guard ordered into active state service.

On June 18, Sununu issued Executive Order 2020-12, an order directing the formal establishment of the Governor’s Youth Advisory Council on Substance Misuse and Prevention. Members of the council advise Sununu, from a youth perspective, on legislation, events and media pertaining to substance misuse. The council consists of up to 21 members, each appointed by Sununu, in grades 9 through 12 in the state. The council meets monthly and will submit a report of its activities to Sununu on or before Nov. 30.

On June 22, Sununu issued Executive Order 2020-13, an order amending Executive Order 2020-11, an order issued six days earlier that establishes the New Hampshire Commission on Law Enforcement Accountability, Community and Transparency. Per Executive Order 2020-13, a criminal defense attorney will be added as a member of the commission.

Details of all Emergency and Executive Orders can be found at governor.nh.gov.

DCYF
The New Hampshire Division for Children, Youth, and Families has made “substantial progress” over the past few years, according to new data released by the Department of Health and Human Services. “When I took office in 2017, New Hampshire’s DCYF was in crisis with unacceptable results for our kids,” Gov. Sununu said in a press release. “We made children a top priority, created a new set of standards, made the right investments and have exceeded expectations with our outcomes.” DCYF Director Joseph Ribsam said in the release that the department has rebuilt its Child Protection System, and in doing so has seen positive trends like caseloads going down, workforce numbers going up, and the number of children finding permanent homes going up. For example, the average assessment caseload per social worker reached 93 in January 2016 and is now at 17, and the number of overdue open assessments has gone from 3,500 in November 2015 to 747 as of June, according to the press release. Ribsam said in the release that these trends were evident even prior to the pandemic, during which fewer calls have been coming in.

Food access
A new website, neighborhoodprovisions.org, has been created to help elderly and immunocompromised patients and community members in need find food options that can be delivered to their homes. According to a press release, Dartmouth-Hitchcock Health is collaborating with community partners to facilitate food distribution to those populations during the pandemic. Locally, that includes Granite United Way, the Greater Manchester Chamber of Commerce, Families in Transition and the office of Manchester Mayor Joyce Craig. “It’s been difficult for some of my patients to know what resources exist,” Roshani R. Patel, M.D., a surgeon at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Manchester, said in the release. “They are overwhelmed. Many can pay for food but can’t find a central location to see what their options are.” The website includes a list of restaurants, small grocers and farms, support and delivery help, according to the release.

Septic troubles
The New Hampshire Department of Environmental Services has seen an increased percentage of applications to replace failed individual septic systems over the last few months compared to 2019, according to a press release. With more people staying home due to the pandemic, there is an increased use of home septic systems, and system overload may be contributing to the increased number of failures, according to the release. In addition, disposing of antibacterial cleaning materials in septic systems can also lead to premature system failure. Visit getpumpednh.com for information about proper septic system maintenance.

Ride on
The Manchester Mounted Patrol Unit — police officers Kelly McKenney and Andrew Choi along with horses General Stark and Valor — has received a $1,200 donation from Members First Credit Union, a sponsorship that helps keep the self-funded unit on patrol, according to a press release. The unit has been patrolling the city, including the downtown area, since 1999 and serves as an ambassador of the Manchester Police Department by attending public events, parades, schools and police demonstrations, according to the release. Donations like these help cover expenses associated with operating the unit. Find “Friends of Manchester Mounted Patrol” on Facebook.

Teacher of the Year
The New Hampshire Department of Education has chosen 11 semifinalists for the 2021 New Hampshire Teacher of the Year award, selected from 30 nominees, according to a press release. The semifinalists are Alyssa Balboni, third-fourth grade, Parker-Varney, Manchester; Danielle Boutin, ELL, Ledge Street School, Nashua; Sarah Carlson, third grade, Plymouth Elementary; Maryanne Cullinan, Enrichment, Great Brook Middle School, Antrim; Christina Duffy, Social Studies, Hampton Academy; Lauren Elliott, first grade, Winchester School; Steven Juster, English, Londonderry High School; Jay Keough, Criminal Justice, Spaulding High School and R.W. Creteau Regional Technology Center, Rochester; Kathleen McCaffrey-Pomerleau, second grade, Main Street School, Exeter; Benjamin Rodon, Humanities, Amherst Middle School; and Tina Sturdivant, Biology, Pinkerton Academy, Derry. This year, instead of site visits, candidates submitted videos that showed how they transitioned to remote instruction. Now the semifinalists will be tested on their public speaking skills by visiting the department to answer this question: “What is your platform and how can you use that to elevate the teaching profession?” From there, finalists will be visited in their schools in September, if schools are open, with a final recipient selected in October, according to the release.

The Warner Historical Society will present a free online talk about the effect of the railroad on farming and mill development along the Warner River on Friday, June 26, at 7 p.m., according to a press release. Email info@warnerhistorical.org to register. During the discussion, you will be able to ask questions and talk to the presenters.

City Hall in Manchester has resumed in-person services, from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday, according to a press release. Masks are required for employees who work with the public and are strongly recommended for anyone entering the building. Masks and hand sanitizer will be available. Using online services is still recommended if possible, and processing fees will now be waived temporarily for all online services, according to the release.

Get your dog some ice cream and help the canines of Second Chance Ranch Rescue in New Boston at the same time. Throughout the month of July, Dairy Queen on Second Street in Manchester will be donating 100 percent of proceeds from every pup cup sold at the drive-thru, according to a press release.

Free bagged lunches will be available to kids under 18 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Nashua Public Library this summer, according to a press release. There will also be bags of nonperishable foods available Monday to Thursday from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. and Fridays and Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. The library parking lot will have a designated space with a curbside pickup sign. You can either use the intercom to request food or call 589-4600, and there is no ID required.

Connect in real life

Facebook has been advertising how it creates community — how it brings people together. Dads can share dad stuff with other dads, like going to a baseball game with their kids. Or at least that’s what the ads say.
But there is also a darker side. According to recent reporting from the Wall Street Journal, Facebook is helping radicalize extremists and has known that its algorithms move people deeper down a radical rabbit hole. Facebook’s recommendation tools actually suggested more radical groups to join. According to the Journal, Facebook executives found that, in their words: “Our algorithms exploit the human brain’s attraction to divisiveness.”
On top of that, a 2019 study by professors at New York University and Stanford demonstrated that people were happier and less polarized when they stayed off Facebook.
So what does this mean for us?
I would hope it would give us pause to put down the phone, close the app and engage in your community in real life. Yes, the pandemic has temporarily made it harder to get out and see people, but Facebook is right about one thing: We crave community, in a good way. We enjoy the company of others even if we don’t know them. So as soon as you feel it’s safe, engage in a conversation with a stranger. Join a service group, like Rotary, and enjoy the community it provides. Volunteer. Volunteer to be around people unlike yourself.
Let’s not let Facebook use our desire for connections as a way to suck us online, divide us and sell us stuff.

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