How to help in the fight against domestic violence
Bruce Miner is a volunteer for Bridges, a Nashua-based chapter of the New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence. With October being National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Miner talked about why raising awareness is so important and how people can join the fight against domestic violence in New Hampshire.
What does domestic violence look like?
[The abuser] is usually an intimate partner — a lover, a dating partner or an ex — who wants to have power and control over the victim. The forms of domestic violence are many. Obviously, there’s physical and sexual abuse, but there’s also economic control, stalking, intimidation and threats, the use of isolation, psychological pressure, possessiveness, the abuse of pets and even the destruction of household items.
How prevalent is domestic violence in New Hampshire?
It’s definitely a problem. Just to give you an idea, in New Hampshire, there are 13 [domestic violence centers], and they handle about 15,000 calls a year, and 9,000 of those calls are directly related to a domestic violence situation.
What is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month about?
It’s … [about] trying to open people’s eyes and bring awareness and attention to the pervasiveness and severity of domestic violence, and then have action taken as a result of the awareness. … It’s also about getting the message out there [to victims]. States do fatality review studies and have found that, in both New Hampshire and across the country, of the women killed [by their abusers], only four percent had availed services provided by domestic violence centers. That’s why it’s so huge that we make sure they know that these centers and services exist, and that they’re totally free and confidential.
What happens when someone calls the Helpline?
First, we ascertain that the person is safe and can talk safely. Then, we ask if there are any injuries, if they need to go to the hospital or if they need emergency services. If they’re in a safe spot and there are no injuries, we’ll have a conversation about what’s going on and discuss and explore what they would like to do.
Has the pandemic made it more difficult for crisis centers to help victims, or for victims to seek help?
It’s been a huge issue. Police departments have had significant increases in domestic violence calls. Women have been more reluctant to leave the house or go to the hospital for fear of catching the virus or bringing it back home to their kids. … We’ve had to cancel fundraisers. We’ve had to postpone training for new advocates. Support groups have had to be done remotely. The impact has been horrible.
What are the effects of domestic violence on the victim?
There are traumatic effects. They have a sense of helplessness, fear, lack of control and despair. Depression is a big issue. It also tends to bring on physical ailments. If a victim has children, the ability to parent becomes significantly compromised as well.
What are the effects of domestic violence on a community at large?
Money is a big one. … I’m talking about medical costs; hospitalization costs; lost wages from time out of work, since it’s difficult for a person being abused to concentrate on work, and they may not show up to work at all; and the cost of the legal system and prosecution. Homelessness is another one. Studies indicate 67 percent of women who are homeless have been victims of domestic violence.
Does domestic violence affect men?
There are situations where the woman is the abuser and the man is the victim, or there’s a man abusing a man or a woman abusing a woman, but it’s a small fraction. Nationally, in 85 percent of domestic violence situations, a woman is the victim and a man is the abuser. In New Hampshire, it’s closer to 95 percent. But we [crisis centers] treat everyone the same and provide services to anyone in a domestic violence situation.
How can [people] help?
New Hampshire chapters can always use additional volunteers to work the support lines. They’ll have to go through very intensive and comprehensive training that allows them to handle those calls, but I can say that, from my own experience, it’s tough to put into words the gratification you get when you can take someone’s tears and despair and turn them into hope and a plan going forward. … Additionally, we have shelters in all 13 chapters, and those shelters can always use household items. They could also use people to work in the shelters.
New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
Crisis centers are located in Concord, Manchester, Nashua, Durham, Portsmouth, Laconia, Berlin, Littleton, Conway, Plymouth, Lebanon, Claremont and Keene.
24-hour Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-866-644-3574; 24-hour Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-277-5570. Visit nhcadsv.org.
Featured photo: Bruce Miner. Courtesy photo.
