Author: Amy Diaz

Wes Anderson puts a diorama in a music box, festoons it with vintage curios and surrounds it with a model train set in Asteroid City, maybe the most “Wes Anderson movie about Wes Anderson vibes” ever? But I feel like I think that at every Wes Anderson movie lately so who knows.

A 1950s black and white television narrator (Bryan Cranston) introduces us to the stage play and its playwright (Edward Norton) that are the origins of the teleplay that becomes the full Santa Fe sunset color palette of a live-action, er, situation we’re watching in this movie, which is written and directed by Anderson (who has a screenplay credit and shares the “story by” credit with Roman Coppola). Sometimes we’re watching the playwright, sometimes we’re with the actors performing the play but mostly we’re in Asteroid City, the name of the play and the name of its setting. Asteroid City is a small clump of buildings in the southwestern desert. A diner, a bus stop, a gas station and motor inn make up the bulk of the town — as well as a complex astronomical government facility built near the site of an ancient crater caused by an asteroid (which is also still there and available for close-up viewing during the posted hours).

In the 1950s, Auggie Steenbeck (Jason Schwartzmann), his teenage son Woodrow (Jake Ryan) and his three young daughters — Andromeda (Ella Faris), Pandora (Gracie Faris) and Cassiopeia (Willan Faris) — have come to Asteroid City for Woodrow to accept an award for his science project. But their car has a rather spectacular breakdown causing the family to be stuck there, which leads Auggie to call his father-in-law, Stanley (Tom Hanks), to come and get the girls. Stanley agrees to do so if Auggie will finally, three weeks after the fact, explain to the children that their mother, Stanley’s daughter, has died.

Also arriving for the young scientist event are movie star Midge Campbell (Scarlett Johansson) and her teen daughter Dinah (Grace Edwards) as well as other teen inventors, a bus full of school children and their teacher and a group of singing cowboys who miss their connecting bus. Wes Anderson regulars Tilda Swinton as a scientist and Jeffery Wright as a military general are also in Asteroid City as well as the likes of Hope Davis, Liev Schreiber, Maya Hawke, Steve Park, Matt Dillion, Steve Carell and Seu Jorge. Most of the assembled show up for the science awards ceremony as well as the nighttime viewing of an astronomical event but then find themselves quarantined by the government when an alien shows up to borrow the city’s asteroid. (The alien is, uhm, quite the thing — from the actor, who I won’t spoil, who plays the alien to its odd The Fantastic Mr. Fox appearance. I’m not sure how I feel about it or a very puppety roadrunner who occasionally wanders through Asteroid City but these are capital C Choices and, I guess, if you’re already doing all of this odd business, might as well really go for it with the alien.)

But maybe more than any of this, the movie is about the vibe — the particular rosey gold of the desert sun, the arts-and-craft-y quality of the distant mushroom cloud from regularly detonated atom bomb tests, the bright pastels of the landscape, the sign on the diner advertising 50-cent ham plates. The dollhouse-like motor inn cabins, the symmetrical quality to even asymmetrically arranged shots, the scenes of Scarlett Johansson as a 1950s actress that almost look like movie stills. There’s grief and optimism and sadness and shy bits of romance packed around the rotary phones and film cameras and Pontiacs. It’s all just sort of lovely to be in even if I also felt like I wasn’t watching a story so much as being told about a story. Like a particularly lovely macaron, it’s surprising at times that all this prettiness is a very fragile confection made of quite a bit of air. B

Rated PG-13 on appeal for brief graphic nudity, smoking and some suggestive material, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Wes Anderson with a screenplay by Wes Anderson, Asteroid City is an hour and 45 minutes long and distributed in theaters by Focus Features.

No Hard Feelings (R)

You ask “what would it look like if a 1980s sex comedy was also really bleak” and I answer No Hard Feelings, an alleged comedy starring Jennifer Lawrence.

Maddie Barker (Lawrence) is just barely getting by in Montauk, one of those fancy Long Island places where the real estate market is set by the millionaires and billionaires who summer there while the principal employment for the actual locals is tourism-based. Maddie is behind in paying the taxes on the house her mother left her and doesn’t know how she’ll catch up once her car — which she uses for her second job as an Uber driver — is repo-ed. Tips from her bartending job aren’t enough to pay all the bills, so Maddie desperately scans the used car listings for anything that will keep her earning. What she finds is an odd listing for a Buick. The “price” of the car is to date Percy Becker (Andrew Barth Feldman), a Princeton-bound 19-year-old. Percy’s extremely wealthy parents, Allison (Laura Benanti) and Laird (Matthew Broderick), are worried that their sheltered, quiet, loner son will sink in school if he doesn’t arrive with some life experience. They tell Maddie they will give her the Buick if she befriends and “dates” (in all aspects of the word) Percy to help get him out of his shell.

Maddie dives into the assignment, showing up at Percy’s volunteer job at the local animal shelter to try to sexy-talk him into going back to her house. He mistakes it for a stranger-danger kidnapping and maces her. She manages to get him to ask her on a date where he, unlike her usual hookups, is more interested in getting to know her than rushing into bed. Despite their age difference — Maddie is 32 to Percy’s 19 — Percy warms to the idea of a real relationship with Maddie. And though she hates the rich Montauk crowd and finds Percy’s helplessness aggravating, Maddie starts to feel some kind of genuine friendship for him as well.

No Hard Feelings feels like it could have been a spiritual descendant to your Can’t Buy Me Love-type 1980s capitalism-based rom-com. And for a while I thought maybe I could just go with it sort of like I would with an Overboard, where an on-the-page icky premise can lean into zaniness or a fairy tale-like quality. But this movie is oddly jarring, frequently juxtaposing the “wacky antics” of this kind of comedy with the actual grim reality of a kid whose parents feel they need to/have the right to buy him a girlfriend or of a woman who feels she has to hang on to the family house at all costs. Jennifer Lawrence doing some fairly solid physical comedy melts into a scene where an emotionally traumatized Percy (his high school years were rough, we’re told) seems clinically depressed. “Ha ha yikes” is the frequent mood of this movie.

The movie also gives us quite a bit of the real hopelessness of Montauk economics, not just Maddie’s struggles to stay solvent in a town being taken over by the ultra-rich but her pregnant friend Sara (Natalie Morales) and Sara’s husband Jim (Scott MacArthur) trying to figure out how to get by once their baby comes. She’s a teacher who waitresses in the summer, he owns a business involving some kind of boating-related tourism, and yet they can’t afford to move out of his parents’ house. Their scenes with Maddie provide lightness — and often then go grim.

If this movie has a bright spot — not something I’d go so far as to call a saving grace but a bright spot — it’s that it serves as a reminder that Lawrence is good at broad comedy. This is not a movie I’d put on her highlights reel but maybe this forgettable misfire will get her a stronger comedy that can take advantage of her skills. C-

Rated R for sexual content, language, some graphic nudity and brief drug use, according to filmratings.com. Directed by Gene Stupnitsky with a screenplay by Gene Stupnitsky & John Phillips, No Hard Feelings is an hour and 43 minutes long and distributed in theaters by Columbia Pictures.

Featured photo: Asteroid City

Beings made of Fire, Water, Earth and Air live and work together, sometimes uncomfortably, in Element City, the New World New York City of Elemental, Pixar’s newest animated movie.

Ember (voiced by Leah Lewis) is the young adult daughter of Cinder (voice of Shila Ommi) and Bernie (voice of Ronnie Del Carmen), immigrants to Element City from Fireland. These flame people (literal burning, flickering flames in a humanoid shape) are part of the most recent of Element City’s many waves of newcomers, which is why their Fire-language names get Ellis Island-ed into Cinder and Bernie and why there is a kind of fear and prejudice against them. None of the Earth or Water residents of Element City wanted to rent an apartment to a pregnant Cinder and Bernie when they first arrived, which is how they ended up in a dilapidated (but not flammable) brick-looking building. Over the years, they fixed it up and opened a market on the bottom floor offering authentic Fireland food. The business thrives, and from a young age Ember is told one day it will be hers. As she has gotten older, Bernie seems eager to hand the market over, if only Ember can prove that she won’t let her flame-y temper get the better of her (and occasionally incinerate some of the stock).

During a big sale, Ember is told to take the lead but finds she has to rush to the basement to do a little private exploding when her frustration with customers gets too much. She inadvertently shakes loose some rickety plumbing, causing a leak of water which includes the Water-person Wade (voice of Mamoudou Athie), a city building inspector. He was sucked into the pipe while inspecting a leak and tearfully tells Ember he will have to write many citations — 30, as it turns out — for all the non-permitted work done to the place, which will result in the business being shut down. After he leaves, Ember chases him down trying to get him to reconsider, a chase that leads her where she never goes — outside her Fire Town neighborhood and into the wider Element City. Ember and Wade spend a day trying to track down supervisors who can possibly override the citations, a day that finds Ember experiencing new things outside of Fire Town and Wade becoming besotted with Ember.

Eventually we learn that while Ember feels her life has been plotted out for her and that to be a good daughter she must take on the store, Wade feels sort of aimless, floating through jobs and regretting all the things he and his father didn’t say to each other before his father died. We also learn that while Ember is a wiz at making market deliveries, her true skills lie in turning sand and glass shards into intricate and artistic new works of tempered glass.

Who is the villain, my kids wanted to know before we saw this movie. As it turns out, xenophobia, the intergenerational pressures of immigrant families and municipal infrastructure neglect are this movie’s “villains.” My elementary schooler’s response? Phrases like “is this movie over yet?” and “can I go to the bathroom again?” At its core, this is a love story between two, like, 20-somethings I guess. It’s My Big Fat Greek Wedding but made in cartoon form (and without Andrea Martin), which makes me question its appeal to any kid audience and not just my kids who want someone being at least naughty as well as a bit of action.

This movie’s intergenerational dynamics also had me thinking about last year’s Pixar movie Turning Red, an infinitely better take on the idea of parental expectations in a family with immigrant roots. In that movie, as with this movie, the central daughter is chafing under the expectations of a parent and trying to balance her own desires with her sense of obligation to her family. In Turning Red, though, the central character is a young teen whose antagonist is frequently her mother in a very relatable way to pretty much any girl and mother. (Sure, they both turned into giant red pandas, but their whole dynamic still felt both very specific to those characters and very familiar to all mothers and daughters.) Here, the character saying “why can’t I just be a good daughter” feels older, more removed from the kids in the audience and less likely to have the adults in the audience saying “yes, that fire-person is me!” the way I felt I’d totally been that giant red panda.

What’s particularly disappointing about the core “is this movie over yet?”-ness of this movie is that the ideas about the Fire, Water, Air and Earth people are interesting — how they move through the world, how they interact with each other — and well-portrayed visually. There are cute bits (a lot of them in the trailer) about, for example, Wade’s family’s swank apartment being essentially a giant swimming pool or Bernie’s food being temperature-hot (and treated as though it was spicy-hot). But these little moments and visual elements are high-quality garnishes without a substantial main dish. C+

Rated PG for some peril, thematic elements and brief language, according to the MPA at filmratings.com. Directed by Peter Sohn with a screenplay by John Hoberg & Kat Likkel and Brenda Hsueh, Elemental is an hour and 49 minutes long and distributed in theaters by Walt Disney Studios.

The Flash (PG-13)

The DC Extended Universe hurls Easter eggs at you for two and a half hours in The Flash, the first stand-alone (-ish) outing by Ezra Miller’s titular superhero.

The pelting with, just, stuff — canon, all the canons, but also facts and names and little callbacks — is relentless. And once again we dive into a multiverse, the mention of which caused me to sigh a weary sigh. I don’t inherently hate the multiverse as a story concept but I just feel like it’s one of those things that has been so much a part of the movie soup lately, particularly in our two competing comic book-based cinematic universes. At one point a character explains the multiverse and the consequences of time travel by essentially referencing (and contradicting) a similar bit of explanation in a Marvel film. I think the moment is meant to be cute but it induces a bit of that soul-crushing feeling you get when you come across a giant pile of unwashed laundry or a sink full of dirty dishes at the end of the day. “Ugh, more of this?”

Barry Allen (Miller), the Justice League superhero known as The Flash, is still out there superheroing, saving babies and a dog from a collapsing hospital with his super speed and the like. He’s also working a job in criminal forensics and trying to help his father, Henry Allen (Ron Livingston), get his conviction for murdering Barry’s mother Nora (Maribel Verdu) overturned. His frustration at the lack of evidence that will exonerate his father sends him running, running so fast that he repeats the Speed Force he used to help save the day at the end of the Snyder Cut of the Justice League. In that movie, the Speed Force helped him go back in time a few seconds; this time he goes back in time a full day. He realizes that he may be able to go back even farther, far enough perhaps to prevent the murder of his mother. Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) tells him not to mess with time, but Barry can’t resist.

He tweaks the past just enough that his mom won’t need to send his dad to the store at the moment when someone breaks in and stabs her. And it works — he sees, in a kind of reconstructed flow of time, his mom living to celebrate more birthdays and other key life moments. Before he can make it all the way back to his present day, though, a spikey monster appears and knocks him into a point sometime after when his mother would have been killed but before Barry’s present. He goes into his house to find his mother, alive and well, and his father, not in prison, and enjoys a meal with them before he sees himself, some five or so years younger, walking to the house. He goes outside to waylay Young Barry and the two begin to strategize together about how to get Original Barry home to his time.

An attempt to give Young Barry The Flash powers accidentally strips Original Barry of his — and just as General Zod (Michael Shannon) shows up looking for a citizen of Krypton. Thus does Barry turn where he always turns, to Bruce Wayne. But instead of the Batffleck, Barry goes to Wayne Manor and finds an older Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton), who had long ago put away the Bat suit.

Yada yada butterfly effect yada yada multiverse — some spaghetti is involved in alt-Bruce’s exposition about what has likely happened. And, look, it was cute when Spider-Man: No Way Home or even the recent Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse riffed on all the Spider-Men worlds and characters we’ve seen over the last few decades. This movie essentially does that too, going back even further into DC’s past. There are moments when this works, but never quite so well as that “gathering of Spider-Men” in No Way Home where there were some emotional things happening. Here, it feels more, well, thrown at us — hey, remember this thing? Remember the Tim Burton Batman theme song? Remember Man of Steel?

When the movie isn’t putting all its weight on this load-bearing nostalgia, it’s leaning entirely on Miller, wringing every last comedy drop out of Original Barry being annoyed by Goofy, Happy Younger Barry. And then the movie tries to use the Lessons Learned (sorta) by both as the emotional core of the journey and it didn’t feel entirely earned.

The trailer gives it away so I feel comfortable talking about one of this movie’s bright spots: Kara Zor-El (Sasha Calle), Supergirl who in the Young Barry universe was held prisoner in Russia. As nifty as it is to see the Keaton-era Bat-stuff, I think this new addition to the DC world is my favorite part of this movie. Her terrible treatment means she’s not as hopeful about humanity as Superman(s) but she still has a sense of duty (she was meant to take care of young Kal-El) and a general Super-ness about her. Don’t get me wrong, she gets like an inch of development but for a franchise that generally does not do great by its female characters, the little bit we see of Kara is promising.

I feel like to some extent, if this is your thing, you rushed out and saw this movie, maybe the Thursday night it came out, and have read all the discourse and “Easter Eggs you missed” stuff online and you liked it or have beef with it but either way watching it is sort of your fan obligation. It’s the DCEU (or whatever it becomes as these films transform into new people’s vision) and it’s something you’re going to do regardless of how good any one movie is or isn’t. (The way Marvel fans do with Marvel output, the way Sex and the City fans can’t help but watch And Just Like That.) But for the casual superhero fan or someone just looking for a good popcorn movie, The Flash feels like more work than entertainment. C

Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and action, some strong language and partial nudity, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Andy Muschietti with a screenplay by Christina Hodson and Joby Harold, The Flash is two hours and 24 minutes long and is distributed in theaters by Warner Bros. Pictures.

Featured photo: Elemental

The animal-y Transformers Maximals make their appearance in Transformers: Rise of the Beasts — collect them all, on sale now at a store near you!

Once upon a time, the gorillabot Optimus Primal (voice of Ron Perlman) became leader of a group of other animal bots who escaped a world about to be eaten by Unicron (voice of Colman Domingo), a Death Starry-looking being who is a little bit Sauron and a little bit Galactus. Though he is able to eat the world the Maximals are living on, Unicron can’t move on to other worlds because his helper Scourge (voice of Peter Dinklage) failed to find the energy key thing that will allow him to wormhole throughout the universe. Optimus Primal and crew took the key while escaping the planet, eventually landing on Earth.

In the present day — which is 1994 New York City — Noah Diaz (Anthony Ramos) is just a guy struggling to help his single mom, Breanna (Luna Lauren Velez), and his sick younger brother Kris (Dean Scott Vazquez), who is being denied medical care for his sickle cell anemia because his family is behind on his bills. Noah loses out on a security job and decides to turn to a buddy offering him some non-violent criminal work. It’s supposed to be an in-and-out job stealing a Porsche from a parking garage. But the car in question turns out to be Mirage (voice of Pete Davidson), an Autobot. And Noah slides into the car just as Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen) is calling all Autobots.

A troubling light beam — that only the Transformers can see — marks the location of a reawakened energy key and the possible calling of Scourge and Unicron.

The key was inadvertently reawakened by Elena (Dominique Fishback), an antiquities expert examining artifacts recently delivered to the museum where she works. She knows the hawk sculpture she’s been given isn’t Egyptian or Nubian as was claimed but she didn’t know the piece’s exterior was going to fall away and reveal a large glowstick crystal inside.

Thus do Autobots, Mirage and Noah and Elena all end up near the key, whose light has called Scourge and some other bad guys that are probably available as action figures and in multi-character sets. Eventually they all fight together to try to stop Scourge from taking the key. Noah thinks they should destroy it to prevent Unicron from eating Earth or any other world but Optimus Prime hopes to use it himself to help the Autobots go to their home world. The gang learns that there is another piece of the key they must find and a Maximal hawkbot called Airazor (voice of Michelle Yeoh) shows up to help them find it.

I was a little surprised to learn that Rise of the Beasts earned a PG-13 rating — it is perhaps the closest live-action analog to those many Transformer cartoons on Netflix that seem to transfix my kids despite seeming to me like a lot of exposition punctuated by very basic fight scenes. The “real” nature of the robots and people (and thus the “realness” of the violence they’re involved in) might put it out of reach for my younger elementary school kids but for interested tweens it’s probably fine. There’s no icky Michael Bay-ish male gaze stuff, and nothing jumps out at me as being super inappropriate for your average double-digit-age kid. Anthony Ramos and Dominique Fishback are both likable, capable people without having a whole lot of personality beyond that.

“This movie would be fine to take a nap to” is a thought I had while watching it, as was “the Transformer action figures this movie is advertising should be cheaper” (you can find some for $10-ish but $15 and up seems more common). This movie is benign enough that I don’t mind that I’m watching a two-hour-plus commercial for a Mirage action figure — particularly if they could price him at $9.99.

Perhaps the movie anticipated some parental grumpiness and thus to keep the elders amused it throws in a few 1990s hip-hop needle drops that have you thinking “aw, hey, that song” and then drifting off on nostalgia. So, if “benign OK-ness for much of the family” is what this movie was shooting for, it basically hits its mark. Maybe it climbs to a B- if your kids are old enough for this sort of thing and you’re just looking for tolerable family entertainment, a C+ for everybody else.

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, and language, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Steven Caple Jr. with a screenplay by Joby Harold and Darnell Matayer & Josh Peters and Erich Hoeber & Jon Hoeber, Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is two hours and seven minutes long and distributed in theaters by Paramount Pictures.

Featured photo: Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

Re-enter the comic-bookily animated world of Miles Morales, a Spider-Man but not the only Spider-Man, in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, a beautiful and fun new adventure.

Miles (voice of Shameik Moore) is doing a shaky job at balancing his life as a promising student at a smart-kid school who is carrying his parents’ — Rio (voice of Luna Lauren Velez) and Jefferson (voice of Brian Tyree Henry) — big expectations for his future and his job as a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. This is perhaps why he’s a little too flip and dismissive when battling the “villain of the week” The Spot (voice of Jason Schwartzman), whom he ditches to rush to a parent-principal conference. The Spot was himself messing with multi-verses; one experiment brought a certain radioactive spider to the Miles Morales world. But then he was blown up in an explosion I sort of remember from the first movie and now he is partly made of wormhole. We first meet him trying to use his wormholes to break into an ATM at a bodega. But then he realizes he can wormhole into himself and then travel through various universes — such as a universe entirely of Lego, for example, or one where New York City is called Mumbattan and is a massive, Mumbai-like megalopolis (with its own Spider-Man, one Pavitr Prabhakar voiced by Karan Soni).

This multi-verse-hopping and the associated destruction bring the attention of an elite group of Spider-persons who go around fixing multiverse breaches. One of these Spiders is the Spider-Woman Gwen Stacy, known as Wanda (voice of Hailee Steinfeld) when Miles first met her in the last movie. He is delighted to see her and when he learns that her visit to his universe was part of a mission, he decides to follow her into the multi-verse. Thus does he meet other Spiders she works with: Jessica Drew (voice of Issa Rae), a motorcycle-riding bad-ass Spider-Woman who kicks bad-guy butt while being pregnant; Miguel O’Hara (voice of Oscar Isaac), the very intense leader of the Spider team; Hobie (voice of Daniel Kaluuya), a supercool Sex-Pistols-y British punk Spider-Man whose friendship with Wanda makes Miles all jelly, and returning Spider-Man Peter B. Parker (voice of Jake Johnson), who I thought of as the schlubby Spider-Man in the first movie and who now wears a BabyBjorn-type pouch to carry around his Spider-powers-having toddler Mayday.

At first, Miles is eager to be a part of this supercool team of Spider people. But then he starts to become uneasy with their philosophy of putting adherence to canon and the events that make a Spider-Man who they are in all timelines — the death of an uncle, the crushing of a police captain — even over the life of, say, Miles’ dad, a police officer on the brink of promotion to captain.

It’s a nice bit of business, toying with the whole “canon” thing. Do all Spider-Man stories need an Uncle Ben-type to die after telling that universe’s Spidey that with great power comes great responsibility? Can Miles make his own choices, be both the city’s Spider-Man and a loving son? This movie seems to be folding in some “thinking about fans thinking about franchises” in its story of a teenager finding his way. And it folds in cinematic Spiders-Man past, from a little nod to the tangential Venoms to a nice cameo from an iteration of the last live-action Spider-Man. It ‘s a lot, but it all works and comes together to make something that feels like a fun recognition of all the ways we’ve seen Spider-Man over the last two-plus decades while also being its own thing.

Of course, all of this, good though it is, is very secondary to this movie’s visuals, which are absolutely beautiful and would, if this movie did nothing else right (and it does lots of things right), make this movie a “year’s best” contender on their own. This movie looks great. It does such awesome things with illustration style and color and little touches with the build of this character or the style of that one to convey who they are. It also uses these visuals to augment the emotions in a very comic book/graphic novel way, playing with color when, for example, Wanda tries to talk to her police captain dad (voice by Shea Whigham) to show them either far apart or coming together. Or playing with scale or with the size of the characters in the frame. It’s such a joy to look at and it gives the movie a liveliness that makes it feel shorter than its over two-hour runtime.

I’ll spoil this much about how Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse ends — it doesn’t. We get the words “to be continued” on the screen and while that sort of thing normally drives me nuts (focus on the movie we’re currently watching, not the sequel! — is my usual anguished cry) I don’t think it gets in the way of enjoyment of this movie. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is so enjoyable that I don’t mind having sat through a 140-minute Part 1 and am excited for March 2024 when, Wikipedia says, I’ll get to see Part 2. A

Rated PG for sequences of animated action violence, some language and thematic elements, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. I would definitely let a tween kid watch it but might hold off for younger elementary kids. Common Sense Media, which tends to be a decent judge, pegs it at 9+. Directed by Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers and Justin K. Thompson with a screenplay by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller and Dave Callaham, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is two hours and 20 minutes long and distributed in theaters by Sony Animated Pictures.

You Hurt My Feelings (R)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus accidentally glimpses behind the veil of niceties that keeps marriage and society functional in You Hurt My Feelings, a smart if meandering comedy written and directed by Nicole Holofcener.

Beth (Louis-Dreyfus) is a moderately successful writer whose memoir did OK but whose latest book is not getting the interest she’d hoped for from her publisher. What do they know, your book is great, her husband, Don (Tobias Menzies), assures Beth, always responding to her request to read drafts by telling her how much he likes it. But then, while Beth is shopping with her sister Sarah (Michaela Watkins), Beth and Sarah overhear Don telling Sarah’s husband, Mark (Arian Moayed), how much he doesn’t like the book. Sarah is devastated — that her husband would lie to her, that he would dislike this book that she considers such a part of herself.

She doesn’t tell Don right away that she knows his true feelings, and thus he is bewildered with her anger at him. Of course all around this one untruth are a swarm of other things people say out of kindness and encouragement: Beth telling her college writing students that their pieces and ideas are good and interesting; Sarah always telling Mark what a great actor he is; Beth telling Don that he doesn’t look tired (Don is a therapist and one couple basically tells him he looks too tired for them to expect much out of him that day); both Beth and Don encouraging their definitely bright and talented son Eliot (Owen Teague), definitely too bright and talented to be working at a pot shop in Brooklyn, a-hem, they nudgingly say to him.

Even Beth seems to realize both that her hurt is real and that there really isn’t anything else Don could have said to her. They are a solid couple who love each other and love their son, who loves them back, even if all three of them annoy the poo out of each other at times. All four members of the central two couples dramatically state a desire to pitch their chosen career, which feels like a very normal reaction to having just enough success to feel like you should have more success and a general exhaustion with whatever the difficulties of said career are (other people, usually). There are few real problems here, just little pinpricks of annoyance at life, conveyed in familiar ways.

You Hurt My Feelings does feel longer than its 93 minutes but it is also at its best when giving its attention to one moment, one conversation and all the layers of things happening within it. This movie is very good at letting you see everyone’s discomfort and feel all the adjustments they’re making in the moment to try to keep on trucking through the conversation or the situation. This movie isn’t particularly buoyant but it is light and it never takes itself too seriously or tips into mockery of its characters.

Louis-Dreyfus is, naturally, the standout here. She just radiates genuine good-hearted imperfection. Like, yes she is this un-self-aware but also she’s not terrible. And, sure, she is the beautiful actress we’ve seen on TV for decades but she’s also able to access the goofy awkwardness of a real human. She helps make this solid if not brilliant movie enjoyably watchable. B

Rated R for language and for, like, who under the age of “I pay for my own health insurance” is watching this film?, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Written and directed by Nicole Holofcener (see also 2013’s Enough Said and 1996’s Walking and Talking), You Hurt My Feelings is an hour and 33 minutes long and distributed in theaters by A24.

Featured photo: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Halle Bailey is a mermaid who wants to be up where the people are in Disney’s The Little Mermaid, another one of these live-action “OK, sure, but why?” adaptations of a classic animated movie.

Yes, I know, “money, dummy” is the “why” of the existence of these live-action adaptations. I just think some additional motivation to revisit these stories would also be cool.

Mermaid Ariel (Bailey) likes collecting the human stuff she finds from shipwrecks in ye olde ocean and is generally curious about the human world. Humans and their world are garbage, stay away — is her father King Triton’s (Javier Bardem) point of view because humans killed your mother! Which feels like a thing the movie should really unpack more but that’s not the way it goes.

Ariel sees a Pirates of the Caribbean-y ship one evening and hangs out to watch the men shoot fireworks, carouse and just generally be human-y. But then a storm rolls in fast and tosses the boat around and stuff catches fire and it’s a big “abandon ship!” mess. Prince Eric (Jonah Hauer-King), the cute human whom Ariel had been watching, gets everyone to safety, even his friendly dog, but then is tossed deep into the ocean. Ariel rescues him and takes him back to the shore, singing her mermaid siren song at him to wake him up. He falls in love with the music and the fuzzy image he gets of her as he wakes up; she takes off as soldiers show up to rescue him.

Eric gets a little more to him than I remember from the cartoon that, admittedly, I haven’t seen since forever. Here, he’s not so much a “to the manor born” guy but an adopted child of the Queen (Noma Dumezweni) and he is really intent on opening his country’s trade ports. Also he gets his own “I wish” song all about wanting to find the woman who saved him. It feels at first like the movie is setting up some kind of significant plot thing for Eric but it isn’t really — it’s just giving him an inch more dimension without really working that in to the way the story unfolds.

Back to Ariel. Ursula (Melissa McCarthy), who is the sister of Triton (but an octo-person rather than a merperson like him), slinks around the dark recesses of the ocean, still mad that her brother got the ocean crown rather than her. Again, seems like an interesting bit of story but the movie just sort of leaves it hanging out there. When she learns of Ariel’s new love for a human person in addition to her long-known desire to be in the land of whozits and whatzits and forks, Ursula has her eel buddies drag Ariel to her creepy lair and convinces her to make a trade — Ursula will give Ariel a three-day loaner pair of human legs if Ariel will leave her voice as collateral. Also, she has to get Eric to kiss her in those three days or Ariel will be Ursula’s, er, indentured servant? Unpaid intern? In the movie she says something like “you’ll be mine” and Ariel agrees. As we learn, Ursula just wants custody of Ariel so that she can bargain with Triton and this feels like a whole lotta business to go through just to get to that point, especially for a sea witch who can do magic.

Human Ariel makes it to the surface of the ocean and gets hauled into a boat by a fisherman who brings her to the palace. She is given food and clothes and introduced to the prince and they become buds, even though Ariel can’t talk and Eric is still looking for the mystery girl with the pretty singing voice. Along to provide chat to the audience when Ariel can’t are crab Sebastian (voice of Daveed Diggs), fish Flounder (voice of Jacob Tremblay) and bird Scuttle (voice of Awkwafina).

There is a moment when Eric sees Ariel and she’s all excited that It’s Happening, her plan to be a person and find her crush is working out, and then he doesn’t recognize her. He’s looking for the voice and she’s given that up. Her letdown is a nice emotional note — she understands in that moment that her decisions made in a fit of teenage-like anger and longing have consequences she hadn’t considered. It’s also maybe the only time that I felt like I was watching a person in a life and not a character on a set. A really well-costumed character on a very pretty set in a world that has been crafted as, like, a little bit Jamaica, a little bit Bridgerton. I mean, cool, but this is still largely a movie that feels like all the thinking really went in to the look of things and then the rest of the movie, including any emotional heart it might have, was just left to float along. The talking fish is impressive, the mermaids are eye-catching, the underwater scenes mostly look good and have a kind of logic to their physical nature. The characters, their emotions and even the songs are flat and feel like they have the volume turned down.

Which brings me back to the “why.” The movie seemed to have some thoughts on “why” to tell this story — there’s the “kid going into the world over parental objections” bit and some riffing on the idea of one’s voice, both literal and metaphoric. But it never picks a lane and gets specific — even about whose desires are driving the plot. I feel like the movie did a lot of laudable work to get everybody there, to find talented people and put them in the position to look credibly like sea creatures and olden-day people in a visually interesting physical space. Now it just needs to figure out why they are there and what story they are telling. C+

Rated PG for action/peril and some scary images, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Rob Marshall with a screenplay by David Magee, The Little Mermaid is two hours and 15 minutes long and distributed in theaters by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures. If between now and when this movie inevitably hits Disney+ you need two hours and 15 minutes of air conditioning in a dark room where you (the adult) can relax and maybe snooze while the children in your care eat popcorn and are basically entertained, this is probably fine for that. Little kids might get freaked out by a brief shark chase at the beginning and some Ursula villainy by the end.

Featured photo: The Little Mermaid

Dominic Toretto family family family car vroom boom in Fast X, a scene-setting part-one situation.

Which I knew going in. I’ve read that Fast X is the second (or maybe third, according to Vulture) to last of the Fast & Furious central-storyline movies. The result, though, is that the characters largely spend the movies segregated off in their own locations and quests building toward a cliffhanger.

But first the movie goes back to Fast Five, the entry where the gang meets The Rock and eventually steals a vault by dragging it out of a building, to do a little retcon-ing. I don’t remember all the particulars of that movie but Fast X is all “what if Fast Five’s bad guy had a son and what if that son was Jason Momoa?” After Fast Five bad guy (played by Joaquim de Almeida) bites it, his son Dante (Momoa) is left to seek revenge.

Er, eventually.

Ten years later, Dom (Vin Diesel) and the gang are barbecuing it up in Los Angeles, listening to an underused Rita Moreno, playing Toretto grandma, yada yada about family. Later that night Cipher (Charlize Theron) appears at Dom and wife Letty’s (Michelle Rodriguez) door. Cipher, an annoying villain from a few of the previous movies, has been out-villianed by Dante and now she’s on the run from her own henchmen. Trouble’s a-coming, Cipher tells Dom before he calls “The Agency” (a law enforcement group of some kind?) on her. Also, it’s likely the mission Dom’s crew — Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Chris “Ludacris” Bridge), Han (Sung Kang) and Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel) — are on is not for The Agency, as they believe, but an elaborate trap. Somehow, Dom and Letty bend time to get to Rome like immediately (with a Dom muscle car — does he just have them stashed all over the world?) to try to warn the gang. The truck the gang steals is not full of some supercomputer thing as they’ve been told but a giant, hilarious-looking Acme-style bomb that eventually goes rolling through the streets of Rome, getting everyone involved labeled as terrorists. Letty ends up sent to a secret Agency prison, the Roman+ gang sorta wanders around Europe providing exposition and Dom heads to Rio (the setting of the Fast Five stuff) to look for Dante and provide the movie with a scene of street racing, which is the whole franchise’s origin.

Along the way, various members of the Fast family have cameo conversations with fun franchise regulars, like Helen Mirren as Queenie Shaw and her son Deckard (Jason Statham). We also get newbie Tess (Brie Larson), daughter of Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell), and Isabel (Daniela Melchior), sister of the late mom of Dom’s son, little Brian (Leo Abelo Perry), who is now old enough to be kidnappable and participate in action scenes and stuff. B, as they call him, spends some of the movie with his aunt Mia (Jordana Brewster) and some of the movie with the latest Toretto, Dom’s brother Jakob (John Cena — who gets to be a little goofier than I remember him being in the last movie).

These cameos underline a central problem with these movies, which is that everybody has more of a personality than Dom. Diesel’s gravelly voice family talk is the whole character now. He doesn’t even have a lot of menace anymore. Letty and Mia, OG characters who have also had less and less to do as the movies have gone on, are not particularly lighting the screen on fire but Letty does get some fun scenes with Cipher — ones that made me appreciate Theron’s presence. Then you have Statham, whose straight-faced over-the-top tough guy shtick just, like, sparkles. Or the very nice Cena. Or Momoa, who absolutely understood the assignment. In the trailers, there’s a shot of Dante in a silky purple shirt with some kind of shark-tooth-y looking necklace, his hair in what I’m pretty sure is a scrunchy, his fingernails painted purple and his sunglasses sporting a chain of the “grandma librarian” variety. It is perfect. It really sums up his approach to Dante, which is, like, theatrically yet psychopathically bonkers with almost cutesy flair. It’s fun but it does highlight how little fun Dom has become.

But, look, Dom turns a couple of helicopters into nunchucks with his muscle car and sorta plays the Claw arcade game with a crane to knock that Wile. E. Coyote bomb into a river. How much can you really complain about lackluster acting and character development when it is so clearly Not The Point of this? I might not care about Dom’s family and his kid and all the forgettable dialogue about these things, and this movie might have no idea what to do with all its characters at this point, but when it’s on, doing ridiculous stuff with muscle cars and acting like “jumping” is basically the power of flight, it delivers a good time. B-

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action, language and some suggestive material, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Louis Leterrier with a screenplay by Dan Mazeau and Justin Lin, Fast X is two hours and 21 minutes long and is distributed in theaters by Universal Studios.

Featured photo: Fast X