October’s cocktail dilemma – Drinks with John Fladd

Argument – There comes a time when a rational adult needs to set aside emotion and accept Reality.

Counter-Argument – What has Reality ever done for me?

OK, it’s October.

October, in a year that has been circling the flush-line since March and promises to circle even faster around the bowl before we give up on 2020 entirely and hope for something better next year. Summer is gone and we have to brace ourselves for a grim fall and a winter of — I don’t know — discontent?

That’s one way to look at it.

Another is to adopt, as P.G. Wodehouse put it, a campaign of stout denial. You know what I’m talking about — grown men wearing shorts, sandals and Santa hats in December. Women who wear white after Labor Day and meet your gaze with steely determination.

Whichever camp you fall into, you could probably use a drink.

Case No. 1 – “I Grudgingly Accept That Summer Is Over and Will Adopt a Serious, Adult Demeanor”

The cocktail for you:

Black Tie Cocktail
2 oz. dark rum, such as Myers
½ oz. triple sec
¼ oz. orgeat
½ teaspoon blackstrap molasses
½ oz. fresh squeezed lime juice
1 teaspoon simple syrup

Put all ingredients into a cocktail shaker with five or six ice cubes. Shake until you can feel the ice splintering (see below). Pour without straining into a rocks glass.

The Black Tie is a deceptive cocktail. On its surface it is dignified, sober (in an emotional sense) and entirely appropriate for the season.

On tasting it, though, you will be surprised. It has complex, playful flavors that come in stages — the molasses and lime play off each other unexpectedly well. It is a bit subversive.

Case No. 2 – “Fall Foliage Is Just Another Way of Describing Tiki Trees”

The cocktail for you :

Rum Runner
1½ oz. navy rum like Lamb’s or Pussers, or dark rum like Myers
½ oz. crème de mûre, or blackberry liqueur, or blackberry brandy (the kind you find sometimes in little single-portion bottles in the sale bin at the liquor store)
1 oz. crème de banana
1 oz. fresh squeezed lime juice
2 oz. pineapple juice
½ oz. grenadine (pomegranate syrup)

Again, put everything in a cocktail shaker with five or six ice cubes, then shake brutally, until you feel the ice shatter. Pour into a tall glass. Garnish – Several weeks ago I described the Jungle Bird as too serious a drink to garnish with frou-frou paper umbrellas or fruit. This drink is a defiant rebellion against the changing of the seasons. It calls for a minimum of two cocktail umbrellas, and as much fruit as you want to cram into it.

Just as the Black Tie is deceptively playful, this drink is deceptively sophisticated. The key ingredient here is the blackberry brandy, which insists on shining through all the other goofy ingredients.

A word on cocktail shakers
When you first start making serious, grown-up cocktails you will probably buy a cocktail shaker with a strainer built into its spout. “This looks easier,” you will say to yourself. You might even congratulate yourself on keeping your common touch and not buying into cocktail snobbery.
Eventually, you’ll start getting impatient with how long it takes to pour your entire drink into your glass through the built-in strainer. You will probably have to re-shake and re-strain your drink several times to get all of it out of the shaker.
The solution is what is called a Boston Shaker. It consists of one large steel canister, and a smaller one. It is what most professional bartenders use. You put your ingredients into the larger canister, turn the little one upside-down, wedge it firmly over the ingredients in the larger one, then shake.
It seems like it should leak. It doesn’t. It seems like it would be hard to strain drinks with. It isn’t. The drinks end up colder, somehow. As you shake, you can feel the ice cracking and splintering — which is profoundly satisfying — and you can pour your drink quickly and efficiently into your waiting glass, and shortly thereafter, into you.

Drinks with John Fladd: The Paisley Jane

The Paisley Jane

At the risk of oversharing, it seems like when it comes to decision-making I have two settings: overthinking or not thinking at all.

Throughout my life, a series of exasperated parents, bemused drill sergeants and my long-suffering wife have asked me, in varying degrees of anxiety, “What were you THINKING!?” To which, I only have one answer: “Uhhh… what?”

And then, there’s the other extreme.

Sometimes, without warning, I will fall down a rabbit hole of obsession, hyper-focusing on some objectively trivial matter. Last week, after watching a movie where one of the characters had to go on the run and retrieved a “go bag,” I spent hours thinking about what would go in my go bag, how much of what currency should go in it, and how I could inconspicuously buy everything I needed with untraceable cash. Never mind that I would probably never need to flee anywhere, or that I’m too fundamentally lazy and timid to do it if I had to; the fact remains that I spent hours working out an elaborate escape plan. (The secret is to include a Flowbee in the bag, so I can shave my head in a convenience store bathroom, then grow a beard, to blend in with all the other aging hipsters.)

And then, there’s the orgeat. Orgeat (supposedly pronounced “Oor-Jot”) is an almond syrup that is used a lot in tropical drinks to add depth and a sweet fruitiness to the background flavor. I’m mostly alone in this, but I think it tastes a bit like maraschino cherries. People with a more sophisticated palate than mine get very particular about their orgeat, saying that the cheap stuff tastes “artificial.” (I kind of like “artificial”, but they do have a point. The more chi-chi stuff definitely tastes more sophisticated.)

Some people will even go so far as to make their own orgeat.

[There… Right there… Did you hear it? The ominous music in the soundtrack as I start to overthink things?]

I was reading recipes for homemade orgeat — some simple, others much more complex and involved — when I started to wonder about making it from pistachios, rather than almonds. This led to more research than I can really justify, and several trips to the store, for ever-larger amounts of raw pistachios.

In the end, here’s what I came up with:

Pistachio Orgeat
Equal parts, by volume:
• sugar
• water
• raw, shelled pistachios

1. Chop the pistachios in a blender
2. Boil the sugar and water together to make a simple syrup
3. Steep the pistachio crumbs in the syrup for several hours
4. Strain the pistachio solids out, then squeeze

The Paisley Jane
• 2 slices of cucumber
• ½ oz. unsweetened pomegranate or cranberry juice
• 1½ oz. vodka
• 1½ oz. pistachio orgeat
• ½ oz. full fat plain yogurt
• Exactly 3 drops rose water (seriously – no more, no less. Trust me on this.)
• A pinch of sumac powder for garnish (Not optional. See below.)

1. Place the cucumber slices at the bottom of a cocktail shaker, then top them with ice. If you do it this way, you don’t have to muddle or bruise the cucumber. The ice will do it for you.
2. Add all the other ingredients except the sumac.
3. Shake vigorously for longer than you think you actually need to. Remember that you are throwing down a beating on the cucumbers.
4. Strain over ice into a rocks glass or an Old Fashioned glass.
5. Top with a generous pinch of sumac.

A note on sumac: Sumac is a Middle Eastern spice that has a distinct, sour, astringent note to it. It is one of the garnishes called for in the original Hazy Jane recipe. Without it, this pistachio version is missing something. You can buy sumac at any Middle Eastern grocery store or online.
You have to be somewhat obsessive to try this, but the good news is that you won’t have to drastically change your appearance.

Featured photo: Paisley Jane. Photo by John Fladd.

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