Here are a few predictions for 2022, some real and others of the fantasy variety that would make sports in the year ahead a lot more fun.
January: While everyone in Patriot Nation is picking on N’Keal Harry, no one in Patriot Nation notices expensive import tight end Jonnu Smith finishes with more penalties (all senseless and/or ill-timed) and dropped balls than catches.
February: On the strength of a 1,500-yard, 15-TD season Cincy wideout Ja’Marr Chase edges Mac Jones for Offensive Rookie of the Year.
After TB12’s four-interception outing as the Bucs lose to eventual SB winner L.A. in the NFC title game, the Brady-vs.-Belichick chatter finally grinds to a halt.
After he’s named NFL Coach of the Year, Dolphins owner Steve Ross quietly burns the announcement he drafted to fire Brian Flores after his team started in a 1-7 hole before recovering to get into playoff contention in January.
After a chance meeting with Wyc Grousbeck while getting booster shots at Hooksett Walgreens, I convince the Celtics owner to fire Brad Stevens as GM and replace him with me. A day later the NBA announces a shocking four-team trade that lands Jayson Tatum and Ben Simmons in Cleveland, Caris LeVert, Malcolm Brogdon and Lauri Markkanen in Philly, point guard Darius Garland, rookie (second overall pick) center-forward Evan Mobley, PF Domantas Sabonis and the aging and overpaid but still effective Kevin Love in Boston, as the blowing it up Pacers get four first-round picks, Grant Williams, Aaron Nesmith and the expiring contracts of Al Horford.
March: As the new NFL season begins, the Pats finally release N’Keal and put the franchise tag on free agent DB JC Jackson. An “I told you so column” follows, because I said last March they should lock him up less expensively then.
Brady says he’ll retire after 2022 as Yoko holds him to pledge to not play past 45. Joining Brady in the geezer home after 2022 is Dont’a Hightower, who hangs them up after trying to win SB No. 4 in his 11th season.
April: The baseball lockout rages on to blow out opening day. In a shocking draft stunner Bill Belichick trades out of the first round to select a safety in Round 2 of the NFL draft. After doing it in previous years to take the likes of Ras–I Dowling, Duke Dawson, Tavon Willis and other bust-o-ramas, this one actually makes sense with Devin McCourty nearing retirement.
If my fantasy prediction doesn’t come true, the Celtics lose their play-in game to the Knicks, ensuring fan outrage throughout the summer.
May: Baseball owners and players show they aren’t (quite) as dumb as they seem, settling their financial differences in the shadows during a worldwide pandemic.
June: Red Sox reject Hunter Renfroe is five games ahead of Mark McGwire’s pace the year he broke Roger Maris’ homer record.
At 4-5 and ERA in the low fours, Chris Sale has Red Sox Nation thinking the days of domination are gone with $60 large left on the contract.
July: Yours truly is named NBA Executive of the Year for pulling off the best local trade since Theo traded Nomar for Orlando Cabrera, Dave Roberts and good-fielding first baseman Doug Mientkiewicz.
His annual injuries mounting and his trending toward being the next Dwight Howard, Lakers GM/PF LeBron James trades Anthony Davis to Sacramento for the same number of draft picks he gave New Orleans to bring him to L.A.
August: The streaky Renfroe has gone two months without a homer, leaving him 60 games behind McGwire’s pace but still 35 bombs ahead of trade mate Jackie Bradley Jr.
September: Stat geeks continue the embarrassment by insisting to go for it on fourth down every time despite its costing the Chargers a 2021 playoff berth and nearly Cincy as well on Sunday if they hadn’t been the luckiest team in history to be saved from a clueless coach.
October: The Bruins’ season starts on time minus Patrice Bergeron.
JBJR winsThe Mendozza Line Award, given annually to the player with the highest batting average rise above the previous years, after his takes a dramatic 45-point jump to finish the year hitting .207. A, er, steal for bargain-hunter Chaim Bloom at just north of $12 million.
November: Stat geek baseball writers again vote Mike Trout MVP after he leads the AL in WAR, while disregarding the Angels’ finishing 47 games out of a playoff slot.
December: UCLA squares off against Ohio State in the semi-final round of the national college football Championship Tournament at the Rose Bowl. Chip Kelly and Ryan Day are inundated with texts from every freeloader in Manchester who knew them from first grade on trying to get free tickets for the big game. Locals who do get in free are Manchester CC gadfly Matty Welsh, real estate magnate Bill Weidacher and Fratello’s owner Mike McDonough because Matty W doesn’t go anywhere without those two, Kelly’s one-time social studies teacher at Manchester Central Stan Spirou, who’ll be in the Red section though with daughter Nina and the grandkids since he’s also Day’s father-in-law. In a similar which-side-do-I-go fan vice is former West High assistant coach Sean McDonnell, who’ll sit on the UCLA side in the first half to support his former OC at the U and with the Buckeyes in the second half in support of his former three-year starter at QB. Meanwhile the reigning NBA exec of the year gets shut out even though I called Day’s entire career at the U on TV and schooled Chipper back in the day on low post scoring in the late Carignan Men’s Basketball League.