The gardener’s bane: slugs, bugs and ticks, oh my!

Tomato hornworms are the worst

All gardeners have to contend with a variety of insects and other small pests in the garden, those that attack our plants and those that bite us.

I’ve tried every kind of spray to repel ticks and prevent bites. I haven’t found any that are 100 percent effective. There are lots of “all natural” ones out there, but it is hard to tell how effective they are. I don’t like sprays with DEET in them, but believe they probably are better at repelling ticks than the herbal applications. But I don’t rely just on repellents.

When I am working in brushy areas I wear long pants: lightweight quick-dry nylon. Then I either tuck the pants into my socks or wear some special tick gaiters. The ones I use are called Lymeez. According to their advertising, they are a mesh treated with EPA-registered micro-encapsulated permethrin tick repellent and closed with Velcro. LL Bean and other suppliers also sell clothing treated with permethrin to kill or repel ticks, mosquitoes and other insects.

Slugs and shell-covered small snails are always a problem in my garden. I usually keep a jar of soapy water in the garden near my lettuce, which is the preferred treat for these nasty critters. Pick and drown works.

Another garden pest is the Colorado potato beetle. This striped beetle can decimate the leaves of potatoes if you don’t control them early, even killing the plant or reducing your crop. The beetles are yellowish with black stripes, the larvae are beige to red with rows of black dots. The eggs are orange and generally found on the underneath side of the leaves. It is important to pick these pests early as they mature quickly and each female lays many eggs, multiplying their impact quickly if not controlled.

If you have too many potato plants to hand pick them all, there is a biological control called Bt. It is a bacterium that is diluted in water and sprayed on the plants. It is not a contact poison, it needs to be consumed by the larvae when they are young. They sicken, stop eating and die. But you may need to use it for a few years to really solve the problem. There are several different Bt formulas, so be sure you get one labeled for potatoes.

Striped cucumber beetles look a bit like potato beetles, but they are smaller and fast-moving. They can strip all the leaves off your vine crops in a single night if they are present in the soil when your cukes or squash-family plants first germinate. You can cover the crops with row covers to keep them away, but they may already be present in the soil. Me? I start my vine crops indoors and only plant them when they have at least a 6-inch-long vine and can’t be killed by the beetles.

My least favorite pest is the tomato hornworm. Big, up to 4 inches long, they are aggressive when you pick them up. There is a natural predator, a parasitic wasp that lays eggs in them. So if you see what looks like grains of rice on them, just remove them to a faraway part of the garden. Those “grains of rice” are larvae that will suck them dry and keep them from reproducing. You can make or buy houses for these wasps and other good wasps and hang it on your shed. These are simply a collection of hollow bamboo pieces they can use for shelter.

A good reason not to use insecticides is that they will inadvertently kill good bugs like lady beetles, spiders, praying mantises and more. You’ve probably never seen an assassin bug, but they are relentless killers of bad bugs, sucking them dry.

Mother Nature tries to create a balance that keeps pests from taking over. Unless you know an insect is a pest — think Japanese beetle, rose chafer, striped cucumber beetle — leave it be. It might be the critter that controls others from decimating your garden.

Henry is a lifelong organic gardener and a 20-year veteran of the UNH Master Gardener program. He is the author of four gardening books and a gardening consultant. Reach him at [email protected].

Featured photo: Wasp house. Photo by Henry Homeyer.

The Art Roundup 23/07/06

The latest from NH’s theater, arts and literary communities

Seeking art: The Manchester Arts Commission is bringing back the City Employee and Family Art Show in the first-floor “Art on the Wall at City Hall” gallery to run Monday, Oct. 2, through Thursday, Nov. 30, according to a press release. An opening reception will be held at City Hall on Tuesday, Oct. 10, when prizes will be awarded in several categories, the release said. Participants must be an employee, retiree, volunteer, elected official or immediate family member of that group of the City of Manchester or the Manchester School District, the release said. Register by Thursday, Aug. 31 at nationalartsprogram.org/venues/manchester/manchester-nh-registration.

Pastel garden: Manchester-based artists Susanne Larkham will present her pastel works featuring flowers in “Fleur-delys” at the New Hampshire Art Association’s Robert Lincoln Levy Gallery (136 State St. in Portsmouth) Thursday, July 6, through Sunday, July 30, with a reception on Friday, July 7, from 5 to8 p.m. as part of the Art Around Town first Friday, according to a press release. The gallery is open Tuesday through Thursdays from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Friday and Saturday from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Sundays from noon to 5 p.m. See nhartassociation.org or call 431-4230.

Gardens for theater: The Palace Theatre (80 Hanover St. in Manchester; palacetheatre.org, 668-5588) will hold a Garden Tour on Saturday, July 15, from 10 a.m to 3 p.m. Tickets cost $25; participants will start at Demers Garden Center in Manchester and then head off on a self-guided, self-paced tour of eight private homes in Manchester with other special stops along the way, according to the website.

Also at the Palace: The theater’s Children’s Summer Series was slated to kick off Wednesday, July 5. Each week a different family-friendly play will run Tuesday through Thursday at 10 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. and Friday at 10 a.m. The first show is magician BJ Hickman. The series runs through Aug. 25 (that final week’s show is Finding Nemo Jr.). The shows all feature professional actors. Tickets cost $10 per person (call the box office for tickets for infants under 1 year old).

“Heroes, Renegades and Rogues”
Artist Darren Taylor will exhibit his works in a solo show called “Heroes, Renegades and Rogues” at the Taylored Art Studios (31 A S. Main St. in Concord; tayloredartstudios.net) Friday, July 7, through Friday, July 21. The gallery is open Wednesdays through Fridays from noon to 6 p.m. The pieces will delve “into the realm of courage, rebellion and the enigmatic figures that embody them” and the show will feature more than 35 original works in acrylic, pastel and mixed media, according to a press release. An artist reception will be held on Friday, July 7, from 7 to 9 p.m. See tayloredartstudios.net.

Save the date: The Currier Museum of Art’s (150 Ash St. in Manchester; currier.org) annual Summer Block Party will be Saturday, July 15, from 4 to 9 p.m. The event features free gallery admission, art activities, food trucks, face painting, a beer and wine tent, community art projects and more, according to the website. This year’s theme is nature and environmentalism, the website said.

More theater for kids: Kid-friendly productions will be starting at Capitol Center for the Arts stages in the next week. RB Productions kicks off a series of shows with Addams Family on Friday, July 7, and Saturday, July 8, at 7 p.m. at the Chubb Theatre (44 S. Main St. in Concord; ccanh.com). Tickets cost $15.75 for seniors and students, $18.75 for adults. RB Productions presents five more shows at Cap Center stages throughout the next month, ending with a 20th-anniversary celebration at the Bank of NH Stage (16 S. Main St. in Concord) on Saturday, Aug. 5, at 6 p.m. Impact Touring Children’s Theatre starts its upcoming run of shows at the Cap Center on Tuesday, July 11, with Pinnocchio at 10 a.m.

Musical comedy: The Majestic Theatre will present the Tony-nominated musical Catch Me If You Can at the Derry Opera House (29 West Broadway in Derry) on Friday, July 14, and Saturday, July 15, at 7 p.m. and Sunday, July 16, at 2 p.m. Tickets cost $20 for adults, $15 for seniors and students. Go to majestictheatre.net to purchase tickets or call 669-7469.

Howard Fishman on Connie Converse
In December 2010, writer and musician Howard Fishman heard a song at a holiday party that sent him down a rabbit hole, resulting in his publication of To Anyone Who Ever Asks: The Life, Music, and Mystery of Connie Converse 13 years later. Fishman will discuss his new book, a biography of the New Hampshire-born singer-songwriter who disappeared back in 1974, during an event at Gibson’s Bookstore (45. S Main St. in Concord; gibsonsbookstore.com, 224-0562) on Wednesday, July 12, at 6:30 p.m.

“Listening to this song, I found it hard not to be captivated by this person, to want to be her friend, to know her,” Fishman writes in his book about first hearing the song he would later find out was titled “Talkin’ Like You.”

After leaving the party, Fishman headed to the store and bought the 2009 compilation album How Sad, How Lovely, featuring a series of Converse’s recordings from the 1950s.

“The more I listened to her music, the more my curiosity grew,” Fishman writes. “I felt the need to know the rest of Converse’s story, the details that had driven her to make this particular music, at that particular time. … What had led to her tragic fate, to her simply vanishing…. Who she was or, even, potentially, could still be.”

According to Fishman, Connie Converse was born Elizabeth Eaton Converse in 1924 in Laconia and grew up in Concord. After she completed high school and dropped out of college, her whereabouts were not particularly clear for the next five years until she wound up in New York City to try her hand at making it in the music industry. In 1961, after her time in New York, Converse moved to Ann Arbor, Michigan, where her brother Phil lived. The fateful day of her disappearance dates back to the summer of 1974 when Converse packed her car and drove away, having written letters to her brother and friends saying she wanted to try one more time at a new life but didn’t feel that it would work out. She was never seen or heard from again.

Everything else she left behind sat undisturbed in a filing cabinet in her brother’s garage, until Fishman knocked on Phil’s door decades later. In his book, Fishman takes readers on this journey with him. —Mya Blanchard

Sweet scoops

How to make ice cream with bold flavors

PLUS a look at how the pros do it

Making homemade ice cream isn’t all that difficult. It’s pretty much as complicated as baking — if you follow directions, you’ve got about a 92 percent chance (a statistic I just made up) of pulling off any recipe.

There are a couple of things to keep in mind, though:

1. Don’t believe anyone who tells you that making ice cream is cheaper than buying it. Even if you have any exotic ingredients already on hand, the cream alone will cost you as much as a pint of the high-end store stuff. Also, reconcile yourself to the fact that the ice cream you make might be as good as ice cream made by professionals, but it will probably not be better. The people who make ice cream for a living have it literally down to a science. They wouldn’t be able to stay in business otherwise.

The only good reason to make your own ice cream is to get something that you can’t find easily. Good luck finding a vegan rhubarb-ripple sorbet in the store, but it would not be too difficult to make yourself.

2. Almost all of us have been given the advice to never read the comments at the bottom of any article online. This is especially true of recipes posted there. Of course, I’m not terribly bright, and I tend to ignore that advice when I’m looking for a new recipe.

“I know people can be awful,” I’ll say to myself, “but who could be awful about banana bread?”

Dian from Tulsa apparently, who posts a response to the recipe that goes something like: I thought I would try this, but my husband doesn’t really like bananas, so I replaced them with ketchup, and we’re trying to cut back on the amount of sugar we eat, so I left that out. Also, I’m not really sure what gluten is, but I worry about it, so I replaced half of the flour with sand. Really, I’m disappointed with how this turned out. I won’t be making it again. One Star.

A lot of us are used to playing around with recipes, and making adjustments and substitutions as we go when we are cooking, but have learned the hard way not to mess too much with the ingredients when we bake. Eggs, flour, fat and baking powder perform specific jobs, chemistry-wise, and most of us eventually learn not to play around with a baking recipe until we know it well and understand what each ingredient does.

Ice cream is much the same. Sugar is not just there for sweetness; it plays a role in how hard the ice cream will freeze and at what temperature. The same goes for the dairy, or lack of it. If you decide on a whim to replace heavy cream with fat-free oat milk, the finished ice cream will be very different from what the writer had in mind when she developed the recipe. Until you have made a particular ice cream or sorbet a few times and are really comfortable with it, it’s best to follow the recipe. With that said, many of the recipes here are inspired by ones from David Lebovitz’s The Perfect Scoop (2007, Ten Speed Press). He is a genius, and his recipes are bulletproof.

So why are certain ingredients included in a recipe in particular ratios?

Let’s make some ice cream while we talk about that. Again, one of the best reasons for making your own ice cream is to get a finished product that you won’t be able to buy easily. I like this combination of brown sugar and sour cream.

Brown Sugar Sour Cream Ice Cream

2 fancy cups of ice cream sitting on counter beside blender and spoons
Brown Sugar Sour Cream Ice Cream. Photo by John Fladd.
  • 1 cup (250 ml) whole milk
  • 1 cup (150 grams) brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon molasses (optional)
  • pinch of salt
  • 5 egg yolks
  • scant 2 cups (480 grams) full-fat sour cream
  • 1 chocolate chip Clif Bar

Step 1: Combine the milk, brown sugar, molasses and salt in a small saucepan.

The milk provides a base to suspend other ingredients in. A lot of flavors bond themselves well to fat or alcohol. In this recipe we don’t want to mess around with alcohol, because that will affect how the ice cream freezes, but the fat in the milk (about 4 percent) will not only grab hold of the flavor of the brown sugar at a molecular level; it will also help keep the ice crystals small when you freeze it, giving the finished product a creamier consistency. The molasses amplifies the flavor of the brown sugar.

Step 1.5: At this point you need to make a choice: What will you do with the egg yolks?

Egg yolks play a couple of roles here. One is to add fat and protein, which gives the finished ice cream a richer, creamier mouth-feel (an actual industry term). The other is to act as an emulsifier; it helps bond the fat in the recipe — and let’s face it, there’s a lot of it — to the other ingredients. You know the saying that oil and water don’t mix? That’s actually true, so in recipes where you need to use something fatty and something watery — salad dressing, for instance — an emulsifier is used to pull everything together. In the salad dressing, it might be mustard. Here it’s the egg yolks.

The problem with using egg yolks is that they need to be cooked but not too cooked. Nobody wants chunks of scrambled eggs in their ice cream.

There are two ways around this.

The traditional way is something called “tempering.” (If you already know about tempering, skip down to No. 2.) You might have seen this in other sorts of recipes. You heat up a liquid — the milk and sugar, in this case — to just below boiling, then spoon a tiny bit of the liquid into a small bowl with the egg yolks, stirring vigorously. You repeat this several times, simultaneously diluting the egg yolks and gradually bringing them up to temperature. After doing this four or five times, you stir the egg mixture into the milk mixture and whisk it enthusiastically. You keep stirring it until — and here’s the kicker — “the mixture thickens enough to coat the back of a spoon.” It is an instruction that you get in almost any traditional custard recipe, but it can be tricky; I mess it up maybe 40 percent of the time.

The other option is to cheat. Whisk the egg yolks into the milk mixture while they are all still cold, then, whisking constantly, heat them over medium-low heat until they reach 175° F, monitoring the temperature with a probe thermometer or a whisk with an integrated thermometer. The yolks will do their job; if you stir conscientiously, there will be very little cooked egg. You will be covered from a food-safety point of view — the USDA recommends cooking raw egg yolks to 160° for at least 24 seconds, which you will definitely do.

Step 2: Remove the custard mixture — that’s what you’ve done; you’ve made a custard — from heat, and pour it through a fine-meshed strainer. With any luck you’ll only have a few little yellow globs left in the strainer and a little bit around the bottom edges of the pan. Don’t worry about them; the Ice Cream Police will not come after you for this.

Step 3: Let the mixture cool down, then whisk in the sour cream. Chill the mixture in your refrigerator — or an ice bath, if you’re in a hurry — for a few hours. The cooler the mixture is, the faster it will turn into ice cream in your machine.

Step 4: Once the mixture is cold, churn it in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions.

Here’s what the ice cream maker is doing:

If you’ve ever accidentally melted ice cream and then put it back in the freezer, you’ve learned that ice cream is not the same as frozen cream. Frozen cream is rock-hard and more or less inedible. An ice cream churn stirs the mixture as it freezes, keeping it from setting up with large, interlocked ice crystals. It also mixes air into the mixture. The industry term for this is “over-run.” The more air that is trapped in the frozen matrix, the fluffier and easier to scoop the final ice cream will be. Have you ever bought a large tub of ultra-discount ice cream from the supermarket and noticed how light and silky it is? That’s because it’s about 50 percent air by volume. The ultra-premium stuff that you buy by the pint has less over-run and is denser and creamier. When you make ice cream at home you are aiming for that denser consistency.

(You may have watched a cooking competition on television and seen a contestant use an industrial ice cream maker only to have a judge tell them that it is “over-churned,” that the cream has been beaten into butter. That’s a danger with an industrial machine; you don’t really need to worry about that with a home model.)

How long you churn your ice cream depends on a variety of factors that you don’t need to worry about. Just churn it until it is done. This could be anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. Often, when it’s finished, it will freeze up enough to jam up your ice cream maker, which will whine and complain loudly enough to get your attention and call you over to it. In any case, you are not trying to freeze the ice cream to a scoopable consistency. It should be the same texture as a stiff soft-serve from a roadside ice cream place.

Step 5: While the mixture is churning, chop the Clif Bar into small chunks.

Step 6: When the ice cream is done churning, use a large spoon to layer it with Clif Bar chunks into a container that you will put in the freezer. I like to use one-pint plastic takeout containers or paper ice cream cups that I’ve bought on the internet. A one-quart Tupperware container will work just as well.

Step 7: Label the container and leave it in your freezer for several hours to harden up.

Step 8: About 10 minutes before serving, remove it from the freezer to soften up a little on the kitchen counter.

This is definitely not a flavor that you’re going to find at the supermarket. The sour cream makes this very creamy but adds a background sourness that makes it mouth-watering. The brown sugar and molasses are comforting. That would be satisfying on its own, but the addition of chewy chunks of Clif Bar gives it a contrast in texture that makes you pay attention to what you’re eating and actually think about the flavor and texture of the Clif Bar.

Could you use crumbled-up oatmeal cookies instead of the Clif Bar? Yes, but they would get soggy — which is great if you like that. The Clif Bar is high enough in fat and sugar that it won’t freeze completely solid, doesn’t dissolve into the ice cream, and stays chewy, with little crisp bits that you don’t normally notice.

What’s With the Metric Measurements?
Measuring ingredients by weight instead of by volume is a good habit to get into when you are baking or doing some other food preparation that requires precision. Flour, for instance, can vary in weight a great deal depending on whether you use a measuring cup to scoop it out of the bag, or sift it and spoon it carefully into a recipe. When you’re making ice cream and you need to keep track of the ratios of your ingredients, measuring remains important. How finely you chop an ingredient will affect its volume, for instance.
If you decide to weigh your ingredients, metric measurements make a lot of sense. Because grams are much smaller units than ounces or pounds, it is easier to get a precise measurement of how much milk or mango puree or Tabasco you are adding to a recipe. Most kitchen scales toggle easily between metric and imperial measurements.
Note: For home cooks, milliliters and grams are more or less the same for liquids. If you were a pharmacist, the difference in weight might be significant; the rest of us can use them interchangeably.
King Arthur Flour’s website has an excellent conversion chart that is useful for these sorts of measurements at kingarthurbaking.com/learn/ingredient-weight-chart.

How to Make Ice Cream Without a Machine

“This is all great,” I hear you say, “but what if I don’t have an ice cream machine? Am I supposed to buy one and try it out, just to find out if I even like making ice cream?”

Actually no. There is a work-around.

For any recipe for ice cream or sorbet, make the mixture, pretending that you have a machine to put it into. Act innocent. Maybe look at the ceiling and whistle a little. This is to fool the ice cream mixture into a false sense of security.

At the last minute, pull a large plastic freezer bag out from behind your back, and pour the mixture into it. “Sorry, pal,” you might say to the ice cream base, “but we’ve had to make some cutbacks.”

Before it has a chance to complain, seal the plastic bag, squeezing as much air out of it as possible, and put it in your freezer to freeze solid. If you aren’t entirely confident about the seal, you might want to put the bag in a cake pan or something, to make sure it doesn’t leak all over your broccoli.

“Hey, wait a second!” I hear you saying, “I thought we weren’t supposed to freeze it solid. I believe the term you used was ‘rock-hard and more or less inedible.’”

Thank you for paying attention. That would be true if you were planning on gnawing on frozen chunks of cream, but that’s not what you’re going to do.

After a couple of hours, remove the rock-hard frozen slab of cream and peel it out of its bag. Put it on a large cutting board and, using a large knife or a cleaver, cut it into medium-sized chunks, about the size of a hamster or a deck of cards.

Blend the frozen ice cream chunks in your blender, starting on its lowest speed, eventually moving it up to medium speed. If you have a high-end, ultra-powerful blender — the kind that they grind up hockey pucks with on the internet — this will go very smoothly. Your blender will feel totally validated and chuckle smugly. Even if you have a cheap, iffy blender that you picked up at a yard sale, it will take a deep breath, and say, “I got this, Boss.”

After a minute or so the frozen ice cream base will take on a stiff soft-serve consistency, at which point you treat it just as if you’d used a machine.

Here are two batches of Brown Sugar Sour Cream ice cream, one made in a blender and the other using a traditional ice cream maker. They taste identical. There is a small difference in texture: The batch on the left, the one made in the blender, is a little creamier, presumably because the blender beat slightly more over-run (air) into the mixture. It is a subtle difference, though, and if you didn’t taste them side by side you probably wouldn’t notice it. As you can tell, they both scoop well.

The Difference Between Ice Cream and Sorbet
Ice cream enthusiasts tend to get hung up on the technical differences between different types of frozen desserts. There are times when the differences are important, but for most of us, most of the time, it is just a matter of word choice. Most of the differences in terms come from the type and amount of dairy that is used.
Ice Cream – Almost all the liquid in the recipe is high-fat dairy: whole milk, half & half, or heavy cream.
Gelato – This still uses dairy, but mostly whole milk, and no cream. This leads to a denser, more intense ice cream experience.
Sherbet – Most of the liquid is water or fruit-juice based, with just a little dairy to make it creamy.
Sorbet – There is no dairy at all. It might be zesty and fruity, a lot like a popsicle who knows someone, or it might use coconut milk or a dairy substitute to replace the cream and milkfat. It might be almost indistinguishable from a traditional ice cream.

Passion Fruit Sorbet

Passion Fruit Sorbet. Photo by John Fladd.
  • 1-quart carton Goya Passionfruit Cocktail – look in the bottled juice aisle at your supermarket
  • 1/3 cup (66 grams) sugar
  • zest and juice of two limes

Step 1: Shake the carton of passion fruit cocktail thoroughly, then add all three ingredients to a blender. Blend for 30 seconds or so.

Step 2: Chill for several hours.

Step 3: Blend again, then churn according to your ice cream maker’s manufacturer’s instructions.

Step 4: Transfer to one or more freezing containers, label, and harden in your freezer.

This is a full-blown sorbet, without a hint of dairy. It’s not creamy, but it is scoopable and looks beautiful when you serve it.

Warning: This particular sorbet lends itself to ice cream headaches. I’m not sure why, but self-restraint is your friend here. You might want to pace yourself.

Passion fruit is one of those flavors that you don’t think you’ve ever tasted before, but when you finally do taste it, it will seem really familiar. Actual passion fruits are pretty expensive in the supermarket — about $5 each in our area — but the juice is used in a lot of “tropical” juice mixes, the same as guavas. It is sour and perfumy, utterly delicious. Again, the sourness gives it a mouth-watering quality. It goes very well with lime. This is refreshing. Children tend to really like it.

Could you use the blender method to make this, then add eight ounces of dark rum to the mixture and call it a day and drink it?

Yes. Yes, you absolutely could.

But you would probably lose that day. Again, self-restraint is your friend.

Chocolate-Mango Swirl, a Secret Sorbet

bowl with multiple scoops of chocolate and mango swirled ice cream sitting on table in garden
Chocolate-Mango Swirl. Photo by John Fladd.

So, you know how you’ll be watching a cooking show, or even a cooking segment on a morning news show, and someone will make a big point of cooking “healthy” and after making some yes-I-suppose-I-could-eat-it-if-I-was-forced-to, non-fat, cholesterol-free, Very Sad dish, they will take a bite of it, force a smile and tell you that it is “just as satisfying as the real thing”?

You know — and they know, and they know that you know that they know — that whatever they just made is probably fine for what it is, but it is in no way as satisfying as what you actually want.

This isn’t that.

David Lebovitz’s chocolate sorbet is richer and more chocolatey than any actual ice cream could ever be. In fact, because just about its only ingredients are different forms of dark chocolate, dairy could only bring it down. It might be the most pure, intensely decadent form of chocolate you might ever have.

And yet—

Contrast can help bring even the best flavors into focus. Fruit might help here. Orange and raspberry are classic fruits to pair with chocolate, but what about something a little unexpected?

The Chocolate Half of the Sorbet

  • 1½ cups (375 ml) water
  • 1 cup (200 grams) white sugar
  • ¾ cup (75 grams) unsweetened cocoa powder – Dutch process, if you have it (see below)
  • pinch of salt
  • 6 ounces (170 grams) semisweet chocolate chips (For a completely vegan recipe, read the ingredients on the back of the package carefully. Many semisweet chocolates have trace amounts of milk in them. It is totally OK to substitute dark chocolate.)
  • ¾ cup (180 ml) water
  • 1 to 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Step 1: Combine 1½ cups of water, the sugar, and the cocoa powder in a small saucepan. Ordinary, plain, run-of-the-mill cocoa powder — which is not the same as hot chocolate mix — is a little acidic. It doesn’t feel completely silky in your mouth. It might even irritate the roof of your mouth a little — something I call the Captain Crunch Effect. In baking recipes, that acidity is balanced by other ingredients, such as baking soda, or egg whites, which are slightly alkaline, but here, you might want to use Dutch Process cocoa, which has already been adjusted to have a neutral pH.

In either case, dry cocoa is what chefs like to call hydrophobic, which under other circumstances can refer to rabies, but in cooking means that it doesn’t like to mix with water; it will float stubbornly on the top of the pot, unless you force it into solution by whisking it vigorously.

Do that.

Step 2: Cook the mixture over medium heat, whisking fairly often – once a minute or so – until it comes to a boil. Whisk it energetically for a minute or so, then remove it from heat. This short boiling will allow the starch in the cocoa powder to form a matrix that will thicken the mixture.

Step 3: Stir in the chocolate chips until they have melted completely, then whisk in the water.

Step 4: Add the vanilla, then whisk the mixture one more time, this time for about a minute. You are whipping in some extra air (over-run). The cocoa-thickened liquid will hold the air in suspension pretty well.

Step 5: The reason many recipes ask you to add vanilla last is that many of the flavor-carrying chemicals in vanilla are volatile and evaporate easily. You want to bring the temperature down — the water did this for you, in this case — before you add the vanilla to keep as much of its flavor intact as possible.

Step 6: Chill the mixture for several hours or overnight before churning it.

The Mango Half of the Sorbet

  • 12.5 ounces (350 grams) frozen chopped mango. This is available with other frozen fruit in your supermarket and is cheaper and easier than using fresh mangoes for this recipe. Because you will be pureeing it, preserving the texture of fresh mango isn’t an issue here.
  • ¾ cup (155 grams) canned coconut cream. This is not the pre-sweetened stuff with the parrot on the label that you used in your youth for dorm-room piña coladas; it is coconut milk with a higher than usual fat content (at least 20 percent), about the same as light cream.
  • ¾ cup (150 grams) vegan half & half. This is usually made from a combination of coconut and almond milks, with a slightly lower fat content.
  • ¾ cup (150 grams) white sugar
  • pinch of salt

Step 1: Combine all ingredients in a blender. Make sure you shake or stir the coconut cream before measuring it.

Step 2: Blend until thoroughly combined. Toward the end, turn up the speed on your blender to add air to the mixture.

Step 3: Chill, as above.

Combining the Two Sorbets

If your ice cream machine has two canisters, start freezing the chocolate sorbet first; with my machine, I start churning it half an hour before starting the mango.

If your machine only has one canister, or if you are using the “Freeze, Chop, Blend” method, make each of these sorbets separately.

When it’s time to mix them, alternate scoops or large spoonfuls of each in your freezing container. If you are scooping finished sorbets, make sure to mash them together. You aren’t trying to blend them with each other, but to bond the two types of sorbet, so you will get multi-colored scoops when you serve the finished product.

Freeze for a couple of hours before serving.

This is a real show-stopper. The decadence of the chocolate is perfectly set off by the perfumy fruitiness of the mango. It is easy to imagine a scenario where a vengeful monster is about to destroy a city — it looms overhead, crackly with eldritch power, cackling in triumph — when a small child totters forth and offers it a bowl of this sorbet. The creature tastes it, and its evil heart melts, or grows three sizes or something. It kisses the child on the head and heads back to sea, or wherever it came from.

It’s that good.

Even More Decadent – Fooling Around with Alcohol

Alcohol is a tricky addition to ice cream.

Because ice cream is so cold, it turns down the flavor of whatever base you use to make it. Your taste buds are numbed, and the volatile flavor compounds we talked about earlier are less enthusiastic about floating around your palate. If you want a particular flavor to shine through in the finished ice cream, you have to add a fairly aggressive amount of it to the recipe.

This presents a bit of a problem when it comes to alcohol. Because it freezes (or melts in this case) at a very low temperature — about 150 degrees below zero — adding too much of it to a recipe will keep an ice cream from freezing properly. If you don’t add enough of it, you won’t be able to taste it in the finished ice cream.

So what we’re looking for is an alcohol with a strong, boozy flavor, but as low a proof (percentage of alcohol) as possible. Bourbon is a good choice for this. There aren’t many low-proof bourbons out there — they bottom out at about 80 proof (40 percent alcohol), but bourbon carries such a distinctive flavor that a little can go a long way. Because it has its own sweetness, and the barrel-aging process gives it some vanilla and caramel notes, bourbon matches well with sweet flavors, notably milk chocolate.

Bourbon-Milk Chocolate Ice Cream

light brown ice cream in glass bowl, sitting in ice in larger bowl
Bourbon-Milk Chocolate Ice Cream. Photo by John Fladd.
  • 8 ounces (230 grams) good milk chocolate – I like Cadbury Dairy Milk for this.
  • 3 cups (750 ml) half & half
  • ¾ cup (150 grams) white sugar
  • pinch of salt
  • 4 egg yolks
  • 3 Tablespoons (1½ ounces) 80-proof bourbon — Jack Daniel’s works well for this.

Step 1: Combine all the ingredients except the bourbon in a small saucepan. Whisk continually until the mixture reaches 175° F, or temper the egg yolks traditionally (see Brown Sugar Sour Cream Ice Cream, above), then remove from heat.

Step 2: Let the mixture cool thoroughly, then stir in the bourbon.

Step 3: Chill the mixture as much as you can, probably overnight in the coldest part of your refrigerator, then churn according to your machine’s manufacturer’s instructions.

This recipe pushes the alcohol content to its absolute limit. It will not want to freeze; you will have to force the issue. Let it churn for as long as your machine will put up with it (a full hour in my case), then very quickly transfer it to your freezing container and get it into the freezer immediately. Leave it for several hours, perhaps even 24.

What you will end up with is a very rich, milk-chocolatey ice cream with a boozy backbone. It’s very, very good, but it’s very soft. Even at its coldest it will have a pudding consistency, and it will dissolve into a puddle if you look at it too intensely. It is to be served and eaten immediately. Serve all the other ice creams to your dinner party guests before you break this one out. Do not wait until someone has blown out the candles.

Eat it immediately.

Or, hypothetically, you could serve the dish in an ice bath.

A Grownup Ice Cream – Fresh Mint

We all know what to expect from something mint-flavored. It will probably be a lovely green color. It might be shockingly minty, like a peppermint patty, or sweet and a little spicy, like a candy cane.

What we don’t usually expect is for it to taste herbal, which is odd when you think about it, because that’s what mint is — an herb.

This is a mint ice cream for a grownup, for someone who has just made two pool runs and gone to soccer practice and done a load of laundry and gotten eye-rolled for their trouble. This is a find-a-spot-in-the-shade-and-take-five-minutes-to-yourself-while-listening-to-Air-Supply adult ice cream with no M&Ms or cookie dough. It is. Mint. Ice. Cream.

Fresh Mint Ice Cream

2 fancy stemmed bowls, each containing 2 scoops of light colored ice cream and spoons, sitting on embroidered table cloth outside
On the left is the plain Fresh Mint; the one on the right has chocolate wafers. Photo by John Fladd.
  • ¾ cup (150 grams) sugar
  • 3 cups (750 ml) half & half
  • pinch of salt

A large bunch of fresh mint – a double handful. At least 100 grams. Perhaps two packed cups. It doesn’t need to be picked or chopped. The stems and leaves are both fine for this, but you probably want to rinse it off. More is better.

Step 1: Heat the cream, sugar and salt in a medium saucepan until just before it boils, 175° to 190° F, stirring occasionally.

Step 2: Remove from heat.

Step 3: Add the mint to the hot cream mixture. Squash it down into the cream with a wooden spoon, until it wilts a little and is almost completely submerged. Cover the pot with a lid or a plate and let the mint steep for one hour, squashing it with your wooden spoon from time to time.

Step 4: Strain through a fine-meshed strainer, chill, and churn, either in your machine or using the “Freeze, Chop, Blend” method, and transfer to a freezing container.

Depending on how much mint you use, this will probably not be an intense Altoid-y ice cream. It will be an ice cream that tastes like actual mint. It has a slightly icy texture, which in this case is an asset; it adds to the refreshment.

Could you smooth it out to make it creamier? Yes, by replacing half of the cream with heavy cream, but try it this way your first time.

Could you add in something to make it a little more family-friendly? You know the plain chocolate wafers your mother used to make icebox cake? You could crumble some of those in layers when you move the ice cream to a container. It will taste like a more sophisticated Girl Scout cookie.

But, you know, ice cream.

Impressing People at a Dinner Party – Lemon Ricotta, Blueberry Swirl Ice Cream

Chocolate has better PR, but if pressed, a surprising number of people will tell you that lemon is their favorite sweet flavor; it’s tangy and floral and its slight sourness has a mouth-watering quality that is a little bit sparkly and magical.

But lemon ice cream has a problem. Lemon sherbet? Totally doable. Lemon sorbet? Piece of cake. But ice cream?

The problem is chemical. Lemon juice is very acidic. On a pH scale of 0 to 7, it has a score of 2. When the proteins in dairy are exposed to acid, you get something delightful, but not necessarily what we’re looking for here — cheese. Getting a finished product that is both lemony and creamy runs the risk of cheesiness. We can lower the cheese factor by not heating this ice cream base, starting with cold ingredients, and by churning it immediately, without leaving it to chill in the refrigerator, but we will still end up with a slightly chewy texture, which leaves us with a couple of options:

We could turn this into a sorbet, by replacing the dairy with coconut cream and almond milk, which would change the flavor slightly.

Or we could really lean into the cheesiness. Lemon has a well-known affinity for ricotta, the cheese you use in lasagna. (Ricotta with a little lemon syrup makes for a really good breakfast, by the way.) Why not go in that direction?

And add blueberries. Blueberries get along really well with lemon and ricotta. Think blueberry cheesecake.

Lemon Ricotta, Blueberry Ripple Ice Cream

scoops of ice cream in floral decorated bowl on blue napkin beside 3 rectangular shortbread cookies
Lemon Ricotta, Blueberry Swirl Ice Cream. Photo by John Fladd.
  • zest of 3 lemons
  • ½ cup (100 grams) white sugar
  • ½ cup (125 ml) fresh squeezed lemon juice, chilled
  • 1 cup (250 ml) half & half, chilled
  • 1 cup (250 grams) full-fat ricotta, chilled
  • pinch of salt

A jar of blueberry preserves — store-bought is perfectly fine. The sugar and pectin will keep the preserves from freezing solid.

Step 1: Combine everything but the blueberry preserves in a blender, and blend thoroughly.

Step 2: Churn immediately. If you are using the “Freeze, Chop, Blend” method, freeze the mixture quickly as possible, in the coldest part of your freezer. If you have a stand-alone or chest freezer, this is the moment it has been waiting for its whole life.

Step 3: When you transfer the frozen lemon ice cream to its freezing container, layer it with large spoonfuls of blueberry preserves.

This is a delicious — dare I say it? — fancy ice cream. It will have a dense, slightly chewy consistency, but also an unusually pronounced dairy flavor. Often the dairy in ice cream is used largely as a flavor delivery device; in this case it is the flavor. I won’t say that it is an adult ice cream — children like it very much, thank you — but it is a sophisticated one.

Finally, a Cautionary Tale About Making Promises, and Involving Ice Cream Cake

But first, a short story:

Susan knew she was in trouble.

She had promised her daughter Lulu that she would be back from her business trip in time for Lulu’s Orange Belt Test in Taekwondo. She would be gone all week, but she would for certain be back by 6 p.m. on Friday.

Lulu had given her a hard look, then thrust her little finger out at Susan.

“Pinky-swear!” she demanded.

In spite of a slight fluttering in her stomach, Susan pinky-swore. She knew she would make it home in time; her last meeting was supposed to wrap up at 10:30 on Friday. She would have her carry-on bag with her at the meeting and she’d go directly to the airport. What could possibly keep her in Toledo?

A baggage-handlers’ strike, as it turned out, combined with high winds and hail. It was 2 a.m. on Saturday before she staggered through the door at home. She knew she’d be exhausted when Lulu woke her up at 6.

As it turned out, that wasn’t a problem. When she finally got up around 11 and went into the kitchen for some coffee, Lulu got up and walked away into the living room.

As often as she wished for a little peace and quiet, Susan quickly learned that the hostile silence of a 6-year-old grew increasingly soul-crushing as the day went on. She didn’t get any sympathy from her wife, either.

“Hey, you promised me, too. This is a You Problem.”

After a few hours, though, even Carmen started to feel a chill in the air and she took Lulu to spend the afternoon at her mother’s house, giving Susan a few hours to come up with a plan to salvage the tattered remains of her family’s love.

Which, somehow, is how she ended up at the dollar store. Not that she had any actual hope of finding a miracle there, but the dollar store is where Susan went when she needed to be inspired, creatively.

She found her answer in a display by the door, even before she went inside. Ten dollars and five minutes later, she had what she needed.

Susan wasn’t much of a baker, but she did have a strawberry cake mix in the cupboard at home, and half a gallon of strawberry ice cream in the freezer, so it seemed like a no-brainer to use a sandcastle mold from the dollar store to make a Pink Princess Ice Cream Cake.

It turned out to be a little harder than she anticipated.

It can’t be denied that this was a disappointing setback, but Susan’s father had always said that God hates a coward, so she refused to give up.

She still had a couple of hours to work with, so, stopping only to give the Gloppy Castle Cake to the heavy metal band who practiced in the garage next door — who subsequently declared her to be the Awesomest Chick Ever and asked her if she wanted to join the band (an idea she decided to put a pin in until she saw how the rest of the afternoon panned out) — Susan made another run to the dollar store and the supermarket, and tried again.

This time she used a more traditional sand bucket with sloped sides, which worked pretty well. By the time she added pink balloons, pink ribbons, a pink tablecloth and pink utensils, she had a credible Pink Bribe to offer Lulu when she got home, who decided to forgive her, even though she had decided that she didn’t like pink anymore and really wanted zebra stripes.

Carmen agreed that Susan had more or less redeemed herself, but wondered why she had used a children’s sand bucket as an ice cream mold, instead of a spring-form pan.

“A what, now?” Susan asked.

“A spring-form pan. You know, the pan with the ski-boot buckle on the side that I use for making cheesecake?’

“That’s just for cheesecake, though, isn’t it?”

“I’m not really very bright, am I?”

“That seems to be the theme of the weekend. Let’s make some strawberry margaritas.”

Triple Strawberry Ice Cream Cake

small round cake with layers of cake, strawberries, and strawberry ice cream
Triple Strawberry Ice Cream Cake. Photo by John Fladd.
  • 1 half-gallon carton of strawberry ice cream
  • 1 box of strawberry cake mix, and the ingredients to make it
  • 1 large jar of strawberry preserves

Step 1: Line the bottom of a large spring-form pan with parchment paper, then bake a strawberry cake in it, according to the directions on the box. Allow it to cool.

Step 2: Remove the cake from the pan, and chill the pan in your freezer. Meanwhile, use a bread knife to slice the cake in half across the middle, so you have two thinner cakes, not two semi-circular ones.

Step 3: Remove the strawberry ice cream from the freezer to soften slightly.

Step 4: Reline the bottom of your spring-form pan with more parchment paper.

Step 5: Scoop half the ice cream into the bottom of your pan, and smash it down with a spoon to completely fill the bottom section.

Step 6: Add a layer of cake. Because you baked it in this pan, it should fit perfectly. If you didn’t think things through, and used a child’s sand bucket, you will have to do some measuring.

Step 7: Use a large spoon to spread strawberry preserves across the cake. How much you use is up to you.

Step 8: Spread more preserves on the other half-cake.

Step 9: By this time the rest of your ice cream should have softened enough to add it to the cake in the pan without having to squash it too much. Do that, then flip the remaining half-cake, jam-side down into the pan, on top of the ice cream.

Step 10: Cover the final cake layer with plastic wrap, then put everything in the freezer to firm up.

cocktail glass filled with red margarita, on plate on outdoor table, cut roses decorating plate

Strawberry Margarita
2 to 3 frozen strawberries – approx. 50 gram, or 2 ounces
1½ teaspoons white sugar
2 ounces blanco tequila – I like Hornito’s for margaritas
1 ounce fresh-squeezed lime juice

Step 1: Thoroughly muddle the strawberries and sugar in the bottom of a cocktail shaker. I use a large pestle from a mortar and pestle; the handle of a hammer would work well for this.
Step 2: Add the tequila, then dry-shake the mixture. This means without ice. The tequila will do a good job of bonding with the fruity compounds in the strawberries.
Step 3: Add lime juice and ice, then shake again, until very cold.
Step 4: Strain into a cocktail glass, and drink while it is still blisteringly cold.
Unlike traditional Mexican Restaurant Strawberry Margaritas, this tastes strongly of actual strawberries and lime. It is best very cold, but not frozen. Haven’t you had enough frozen treats, already?

This Week 23/07/06

Big Events July 6, 2023 and beyond

Friday, July 7

The Raymond Town Fair begins today at 5 p.m.; today will also see the Fireman’s Parade at 7 p.m. featuring the newly crowned Miss Raymond (the pageant for whom is held Thursday, July 6), according to a press release. The fair, which runs through Sunday, July 9, also features a book sale to support the library, bingo and live music all three days — with scheduled performers including Kitchen Party on Friday, the Dave Berry Band (pictured) on Saturday and Ben Eramo on Sunday, the release said. Saturday will see a town-wide yard sale, a children’s parade (at 10 a.m.), children’s activities, a motorcycle show at 6 p.m. and fireworks at 9:30 p.m., according to a schedule on the event’s Facebook page, where you can find a complete list of events and locations. Sunday will include a 5-mile road race, a dog parade (11 a.m.) and a children’s whipped cream pie eating contest, the schedule said. The fair will also feature a midway, demonstrations and exhibits, food and more.

Friday, July 7

Intown Concord’s First Friday runs from 4 to 8 p.m. tonight in downtown Concord featuring a food truck, music in Bicentennial Square, a wine tasting from 5 to 7 p.m. at Wine On Main and more, according to a newsletter. See intownconcord.org.

Saturday, July 8

The 22nd Annual Powwow at the Mt. Kearsarge Indian Museum (18 Highlawn Road in Warner; indianmuseum.org, 456-2600) will feature music, dancing, museum tours and more today and tomorrow, Sunday, July 9, with the museum open from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. The event will feature grand entry today at noon, storytelling today from 1 to 3 p.m. and a sensory-friendly hour Sunday from 10:30 to 11:30 a.m., according to the website.

Saturday, July 8

Twiggs Gallery (254 King St. in Boscawen; 975-0015, twiggsgallery.org) will have a Make & Take activity today from 1 to 3 p.m. Drop in to make a “Little Leaf Book” — the gallery will provide the supplies to make this free nature craft, according to a press release. The gallery’s current exhibit is “NEST,” which runs through Friday, Sept. 1, and features pieces by several New Hampshire artists exploring the concept of a nest, according to the website.

Sunday, July 9

The New England Reptile Expo takes place today from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the DoubleTree by Hilton Manchester Downtown (700 Elm St., Manchester). Visit reptileexpo.com.

Sunday, July 9

See The Allman Betts Band, featuring Devon Allman and Duane Betts (sons of The Allman Brothers’ Gregg Allman and Dickey Betts, respectively), tonight at 7 p.m. at Nashua Center for the Arts (201 Main St. in Nashua; nashuacenterforthearts.com, 800-657-8774). Tickets start at $39. Find more upcoming concerts in the concert listings on page 42.

Save the Date! Friday, Nov. 10
Save the date for dinosaurs! The Jurassic World Live! Tour comes to SNHU Arena (555 Elm St. in Manchester; snhuarena.com, 644-5000) Friday, Nov. 10, through Sunday, Nov. 12. See the video on jurassicworldlivetour.com for a look at this stage presentation. Shows are at 7 p.m. on Nov. 10; 11 a.m., 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. on Nov. 11, and noon and 4 p.m. on Nov. 12. Tickets run from $19 through $104, according to snhuarena.com.

Featured photo: Dave Berry Band.

Quality of Life 23/07/06

Girls getting gold

Twelve Girl Scouts were honored at the Young Women of Distinction ceremony held by Girl Scouts of the Green and White Mountains last month at the Grappone Center in Concord. According to a press release, the Girl Scouts received recognition for achieving the highest awards in their respective age groups: Gold, Silver and Bronze. The Gold Award, the highest honor for Girl Scouts in grades 9 through 12, was earned by Patricia McNerney, Sophia MacDonald, Ella Lawson and Annabelle Holmes. Their projects included creating an outdoor classroom, developing a grief garden, providing personal protective equipment, and building a softball shed.

QOL score: +1

Comment: Girl Scouts, with the support of adult volunteers, work together to bring their dreams to life and make a positive impact in their communities. Gold Award Girl Scouts also have the opportunity to earn college scholarships and demonstrate strong educational and career outcomes, according to the release.

Scam alert

Attorney General John M. Formella and the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) have issued a joint Consumer Alert warning about potential scams related to student loan debt, according to a press release. Following a recent Supreme Court decision on the Department of Education’s student loan forgiveness program, scammers may use robocalls and texts to exploit the news coverage and pressure consumers for payments or personal information. Consumers are advised to be cautious of calls or texts offering debt relief or forgiveness programs and to seek information from official sources such as StudentAid.gov. Signs of a scam include pressure to send money, requests for upfront payments, and directing consumers to websites outside of StudentAid.gov.

QOL score: -3

Comment: If you receive a suspected scam call or text, do not share personal or financial information, and consider filing a complaint with the New Hampshire Department of Justice by calling the Consumer Protection Hotline at 1-888-468-4454 or online at joj.nh.gov/consumer/complaints.

Bill break

Starting Aug. 1, residential customers who receive their energy supply from Eversource will see a decrease in their electric bills by 24 percent. According to a press release, the energy supply charge will change from 20.22 cents per kilowatt-hour to 12.58 cents per kilowatt-hour. For the average customer using 600 kilowatt-hours per month, this amounts to approximately $46 in savings. These changes do not apply to customers who receive energy from a third-party supplier.

QOL score: +1

Comment: Customers should keep in mind that energy usage tends to increase during the summer months, particularly due to increased air conditioning usage. To offset higher energy use, Eversource encourages customers to take advantage of their energy efficiency programs before the hot weather arrives.

QOL score: 80

Net change: -1

QOL this week: 79

What’s affecting your Quality of Life here in New Hampshire? Let us know at [email protected].

Featured photo: Girl Scouts were recognized June 4 at the Young Women of Distinction ceremony in Concord. From left are Gold Award Girl Scouts Patricia McNerney, Sophia MacDonald, Ella Lawson and Annabelle Holmes. GSGWM photo.

Sox mid-season report

The Big Story: Baseball passed the 81-game mid-year point last week. Here’s a snapshot of where it all stood for the Red Sox and for some of the bigger stories in progress all around baseball.

Sports 101: Who hit the first pinch-hit homer in World Series play?

News Item – Red Sox: They were 40-41 overall, 14 games out of first with five teams ahead of them to grab the last play-in slot.

Chaim Got It Right: Not on much, but he did with Masataka Yoshida, who was hitting .297 with eight bombs and 39 RBI in his first season in America.

Who’s Hot – Triston Casas: He might have gotten a tongue-lashing recently for his statistically worst in the majors D. But the highly touted rookie has finally started to hit. After hitting .137 in April, it was .257 in May and .288 in June, which has him up to .227 overall with nine homers and 27 RBI in 225 at-bats. That projects to 18 and 54.

Reason for Optimism: Though the numbers may not quite show it, it’s their young starters Bryan Bello, Garrett Whitlock and Tanner Houck showing promise, though not consistently, for the future.

Best Sign for Immediate Future: Probably if a sell-off does come, disposable veterans Kenley Jansen, Justin Turner and James Paxton could have enough value to bring back some minor-leaguers with promise.

Reason for Pessimism: They were undone by a second-most-in-baseball 53 errors, led by not-up-to-it fill-in shortstop Kiké Hernandez’s most in baseball 14, a number in stark contrast to the 10 Xander Bogaerts committed last year.

Biggest Disappointment: Chris Sale going down with another injury after it appeared he might have gotten over the hump after four injury-plagued seasons. After a terrific eight-game stretch where he struck out 52 in 47 innings with a 2.64 ERA and a 5-2 record, he’s out again until at least early August.

Alumni News

Xander Bogaerts: The grass isn’t always greener (even though the money is) on the other side of the fence. At .259 with eight homers, 28 RBI’s and a paltry (for him) 13 doubles, he’s not exactly ragging it away from the Fenway Park doubles factory, while the high-spending Pads are an underachieving 37-44.

Kyle Schwarber: He may have the weirdest season in progress. With a sixth-best-in-baseball 20 homers he’s on pace to top 40 again, and his 55 walks is second best overall. But those homers aren’t all that productive, as he has knocked in a 56th-best 40 runs. If you take away the homers, he’s got just 30 other hits in 257 at-bats. Good for a .113 average when he doesn’t hit a homer and .181 overall.

The Numbers

4 – sold-out crowds the once sellout-crazed Red Sox have so far in 2023.

108 – projected wins by the franchise often mocked by Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy in calling the Red Sox “Tampa Bay North” even though the Rays are doing it with a payroll $100 million less than Boston’s.

Notable Seasons

At 20-60 Oakland is going for the record set by the 40-120 Mets of 1962 for ineptitude.

Miami’s Luis Arraez was still threatening hitting .400 when he and the Marlins left Fenway last week at .397.

A Little History – 1968 The Sequel: It was known as Year of the Pitcher, because pitching so dominated the game, particularly in the AL, where the only .300 hitter was batting champ Carl Yastrzemski, who hit just .301. The NL was a little better, where Pete Rose led it at .335, but only four others topped .300. It led to big changes to shrink the strike zone and restrict how high the pitcher’s mound could be.

With only eight guys hitting .300, 2023 is like 1968 except this time the lowly totals came after rule changes like banning the shift happened.

Sports 101 Answer: Yogi Berra took Brooklyn’s Ralph Branca deep for the first ever World Series pinch-hit homer in the 252nd Series game, hitting a two-run seventh-inning bomb in Game 3 for the eventual 1947 world champs.

Ironically it wasn’t Branca’s last brush with history. Four years later he threw the pitch Bobby Thomson hit for baseball’s most famous homer, the bottom-of-the-ninth “shot heard round the world” that let the Giants literally walk off with the NL pennant.

Final Thoughts: With the spend-crazy Mets and Padres massively under-achieving with first- and third-highest payrolls and the Rays and D-Backs leading the AL East and NL West respectively with the third- and eighth-lowest payrolls it’s a reminder that it’s not how much you spend, it’s how you spend it. So hats off to Tampa Bay for superior work in those areas.

Email Dave Long at [email protected].

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