Sylvester Graham would hate this article. For the purposes of this week’s cocktails, here’s what you need to know about Graham, who died in 1851:
• He didn’t invent the graham cracker — he encouraged people to grind their own flour (he said white bread was made from “tortured wheat”). Some mills started producing a rougher-ground, whole-grain flour that they called Graham flour. Graham crackers were made using this flour.
• He was horrified by alcohol.
• He was very impatient; he couldn’t understand why Americans didn’t just listen to him and change their lifestyles instantly (he basically thought pleasure and anything that gave you pleasure — alcohol, meat, sex — is bad for you).
So, here’s our first tie-in with Sylvester Graham: What’s with all the exotic ingredients, Cocktail Boy?
I’ve been looking back at the last several cocktails I’ve written about and I’m pretty sure some of you have been thinking to yourself, “OK, this drink sounds very interesting, but do I really need Nepalese orchid pollen to make it?” The most exotic ingredients in today’s drinks are cocoa nibs and grapefruit juice. (No, not together.)
The bad news is that Cocktail No. 1 will take you a week to make.
Cocktail No. 1 – The S’mores Martini
After making chocolate vodka last month, I decided to see if I could make graham cracker vodka (Sylvester Graham connection No. 2).
I’ll spare you the experimental methodology, but in short, it works.
Graham Cracker Vodka
1 sleeve (135 grams) graham crackers
3 cups 80 proof inexpensive vodka
Combine graham crackers and vodka in a blender. Blend at whatever speed pleases you for one minute. Feel free to chuckle evilly as the graham crackers meet their fate.
Pour into a wide-mouthed, airtight jar.
Store in a warm, dark place for a week, shaking twice daily.
(And this is really important) On Day 7, DO NOT SHAKE THE JAR.
Gently pour the clear liquid through a fine-meshed strainer, then through a coffee filter, into a labeled bottle.
Strain the remaining graham cracker glop overnight, then filter and add to your bottle.
S’mores Martini
2 oz. chocolate vodka
2 oz. graham cracker vodka
3-4 miniature marshmallows, for garnish.
In a mixing glass (see below), pour equal amounts of chocolate and graham cracker vodka over ice.
Stir gently but thoroughly.
Pour off, into a chilled martini glass.
Garnish with toasted miniature marshmallows, much like you would a conventional martini, with olives.
Some bartenders make standard, conventional martinis by pouring an ounce or so of vermouth over the ice in the mixing glass, stirring it around, then pouring it out. The vermouth-washed ice adds just enough vermouthiness to the gin to make a solid dry martini. I suspect that if one were to wash the ice in this drink with creme de cacao before mixing in the chocolate and graham cracker vodkas, it would deepen the flavor even more. That would stretch the boundaries of Sylvester Graham-like simplicity and humble ingredients, though.
Observation No. 1 – Is this idea a bit cutesy and Food Networky?
Yes, but if you find yourself with chocolate and graham cracker vodkas, the Universe sort of demands that you do it.
Observation No. 2 – Shaken versus Stirred
For years, I’ve heard martini snobs sneering at the whole James Bond, shaken-not-stirred concept. But for the sake of … um, I’m not actually sure what … I decided to make two different versions of this martini, one shaken brutally in a Boston shaker (the kind with two halves) and one stirred in a mixing glass.
Shockingly, there was a real difference, and not a small one. The shaken martini had a different look, a different mouth-feel and even a different taste than the silkier one made in the mixing glass. By comparison, it seemed like it was made in a frat house. The stirred one was delightful and civilized.
Does this mean that you’ll have to invest in a special mixing glass and long spirally bar spoon? I did, but I suspect you could do just as well with a glass measuring cup and the blunt end of a butter knife. But let’s say you suffer from a Sylvester Graham-like impatience. Try this instead:
Featured photo: S’mores martini. Photo by John Fladd.