Year: 2021

The Music Roundup 21/12/23

Local music news & events

• Back for Xmas: In what’s become a holiday tradition, Abrielle Scharff returns for her fifth annual Abby Holidays show. Now living in New York City — a few years back, her original “New York Makes Me Cry” earned a top three finish in Pop Dust’s Coffee Music Project competition — the Portsmouth native promises “seasonal songs, bad jokes and a lot of love” for her homecoming set. Thursday, Dec. 23, 7 p.m., Portsmouth Book & Bar, 40 Pleasant St,, Portsmouth. Tickets $20 and $25 at eventbrite.com.

• Lead into fun: Head to a music-friendly taphouse and eatery for Early Music Christmas Eve, a local showcase starring Becca Myari, Angela Stewart, John Farese and Crazy Steve sharing songs, stories and good cheer. Singer and guitarist Myari has a gorgeous acoustic rendition of the classic “O Holy Night” to anticipate, along with various stouts and barley wines. Friday, Dec. 24, 4 p.m., Area 23, 254 N. State St., Unit H (Smokestack Center), Concord, facebook.com/area23concord.

• Rock it forward: Work out post-Christmas ya-yas at Holiday Hardcore Fest 2021, a two-stage event commencing in late afternoon with a sprawling list of bands including Trauma Kit, Hard Target, Sophisticated Adult, Clock Out, I Know A Ghost, Bleach Temple, Trading Heroes For Ghosts, Duress, Spit, Duress, Ten to One, Voluntary Victim, Choke Out, and Slug; by showtime likely a few more will be added. Sunday, Dec. 26, 5 p.m., Jewel Music Venue, 61 Canal St., Manchester, $12 and up at eventbrite.com.

• Tri tip time: Joined by area mainstays Paul Costley and Nate Comp, Jess Olson hosts an Artist Showcase. The Granite State singer-guitarist has kept busy of late, recently spending time in Nashville, sharing a stage with new expat Amanda McCarthy at Pete & Terry’s Tavern, and performing at a songwriter round at the Copper Branch club there, along with doing a photo shoot at the Opryland Resort. Tuesday, Dec. 28, 7 p.m., KC’s Rib Shack, 837 Second St., Manchester, facebook.com/TheJessOlsonBand.

• All in one: Midweek mirth and music, including an EDM-infused version of “Tequila,” comes from Lee Ross, a Boston dance machine who works keyboards, horns and a psychedelic light show into his act. If that’s not enough, his wild head of hair takes over. One set highlight is the New Orleans second line staple “Money Back,” and he also has a long list of funk, reggae and rhythm & blues bangers at the ready. Wednesday, Dec. 29, 9 p.m., Penuche’s Ale House, 16 Bicentennial Square, Concord, youtube.com/HouseOfLeeRoss.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (PG-13)

Spider-Man: No Way Home (PG-13)

Peter Parker is introduced to the multiverse in Spider-Man: No Way Home, a solid third part to the saga of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s teenage Peter Parker.

The movie more or less picks up where 2019’s Spider-Man: Far From Home ended, with Peter’s (Tom Holland) Spider-Man alter ego being revealed to the world. Far from becoming a celebrity, a la Tony Stark post-“I am Iron Man,” Peter is suspected of crimes related to his fight with fake hero Mysterio in the last movie and related to missing tech from Stark Industries. On his first day of senior year, he finds himself hounded by news media and phone-wielding fellow students and also learns that not only are colleges reluctant to accept him, but best buddy Ned (Jacob Batalon) and girlfriend MJ (Zendaya) are also being turned down because of their association with him. Life would be better if he could just go back to a time before everybody knew he was Spider-Man, Peter thinks mopily. And then he realizes that he actually knows somebody who can mess with time: Dr. Stephen Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), the MCU’s New York City-dwelling wizard.

When Peter goes to see him, Strange explains that he doesn’t have the time stone (the doohickey that allowed him to manipulate time) anymore but does think he can conjure a spell to help the world forget that Peter is Spider-Man. Oh, but wait, Peter says as Strange is conjuring, I do want MJ to know, and Ned and Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) and Happy (Jon Favreau) and…. Too late, Strange realizes all of these last-minute exceptions have caused the spell to go wonky. He thinks he’s contained it before disrupting the fabric of reality but later, while Peter tries to get an official from MIT to reconsider not admitting his friends, he is confronted by Doc Ock (Alfred Molina), looking to fight Spider-Man. Ock, the scientist who went villainous in 2004’s Spider-Man 2 due to a mind meld with his metallic tentacles, knows that Spider-Man is Peter Parker but he is surprised when the Peter he sees isn’t the Peter Parker he remembers.

As you may have seen in trailers, more villains appear — the Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe), Electro (Jamie Foxx), others — representing both live-action, 21st-century pre-MCU Spider-Man franchises. They are from the multiverse, Strange tells Peter, and Peter has to hunt them all down and send them back to universes they belong in.

This could have gone a bunch of different ways but in the end I think this element of the movie works. While I didn’t always feel like the road to getting us all these different iterations of the Spider-Man story was particularly smooth (some of the choices the characters here make do not make sense for people with the recent MCU time-related experiences — Thanos and the blip — that these characters have), I felt great affection for how the movie uses the idea of bringing all these worlds together. It manages to bring something to those pre-MCU movies’ story arcs that wasn’t there before and is mostly fun in its own right. As with the (unrelated, so far) animated movie Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, the different realms of Spider-Man help to examine basic elements of the character — the choices he has to make, the way he wants to live his life.

And I think this movie does right by its core trio of Peter, MJ and Ned and their relationships with each other. They work well together, Scooby-Doo-ing the problem, as Stephen Strange says, and what they’re given to do makes sense with how their characters change and grow as near-end-of-high-school teens.

My biggest problem with this movie is that the mechanics of getting us from this situation to that situation, of bringing in certain sets of characters, is so very choppy. To use Martin Scorsese’s comparison of superhero movies to amusement park rides, this one has that jerky, stop-start feel of something hastily constructed and not entirely passing code. That the movie could feel this way and still basically be fun — and fun for almost all of its nearly two-and-a-half-hour runtime — is I think a credit largely to the characters and the way the movie builds its relationships more than the way it builds its story.

Spider-Man: No Way Home does offer the grand blockbuster movie experience that you want from a Marvel movie and that has still been relatively rare since March 2020. Even when the movie’s execution of its story wasn’t perfect, I enjoyed being back in this world. B+

Rated PG-13 for sequences of action/violence, some language and brief suggestive comments, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Jon Watts and written by Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers, Spider-Man: No Way Home is two hours and 28 minutes long and distributed by Columbia Pictures.

Christmas at the movies

Even this year, we’re getting a rush of new releases over the next week.

On Wednesday, Dec. 22, The Matrix Resurrection is scheduled for release in theaters and on HBO Max for 30 days. The movie, the fourth in the Matrix series and the first since 2003, brings back Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss.

Also scheduled for release on Wednesday are the much-rescheduled The King’s Man, the prequel to the Kingsman movies starring Ralph Fiennes and Harris Dickinson, and the animated sequel Sing 2, featuring oodles of big-name voices including Reese Witherspoon, Matthew McConaughey, Taron Egerton and Scarlett Johansson.

Celebrate Christmas Eve, Friday, Dec. 24, with the Adam McKay-written and -directed Don’t Look Up, a comedy about the impending destruction of all life on Earth via comet starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Meryl Streep and Jonah Hill, which will be released on Netflix.

On Christmas Day, Saturday, Dec. 25, new movies include American Underdog, a biopic of football player Kurt Warner starring Zachary Levi and Anna Paquin, and A Journal for Jordan, directed by Denzel Washington and starring Michael B. Jordan.

The Tragedy of MacBeth, starring Denzel Washington and Frances McDormand and directed by Joel Coen, is also slated to open on Christmas in limited release and will be on Apple TV+ on Jan. 14.

FILM

Venues

AMC Londonderry
16 Orchard View Dr., Londonderry
amctheatres.com

Bank of NH Stage in Concord
16 S. Main St., Concord
225-1111, banknhstage.com

Capitol Center for the Arts
44 S. Main St., Concord
225-1111, ccanh.com

Cinemark Rockingham Park 12
15 Mall Road, Salem

Chunky’s Cinema Pub
707 Huse Road, Manchester; 151 Coliseum Ave., Nashua; 150 Bridge St., Pelham, chunkys.com

Dana Center
Saint Anselm College
100 Saint Anselm Dr., Manchester, anselm.edu

Fathom Events
Fathomevents.com

The Flying Monkey
39 Main St., Plymouth
536-2551, flyingmonkeynh.com

LaBelle Winery
345 Route 101, Amherst
672-9898, labellewinery.com

The Music Hall
28 Chestnut St., Portsmouth
436-2400, themusichall.org

O’neil Cinemas
24 Calef Hwy., Epping
679-3529, oneilcinemas.com

Red River Theatres
11 S. Main St., Concord
224-4600, redrivertheatres.org

Regal Fox Run Stadium 15
45 Gosling Road, Newington
regmovies.com

Rex Theatre
23 Amherst St., Manchester
668-5588, palacetheatre.org

The Strand
20 Third St., Dover
343-1899, thestranddover.com

Wilton Town Hall Theatre
40 Main St., Wilton
wiltontownhalltheatre.com, 654-3456

Shows

• It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) will screen at the Music Hall in Portsmouth on Wednesday, Dec. 22, at 3 and 7 p.m. Tickets cost $15 for adults and $12 for seniors age 60 and up, students, military and first responders.

• The Grinch (2018, PG) will screen at the Music Hall in Portsmouth on Thursday, Dec. 23, at 3 p.m. Tickets cost $15 for adults and $12 for seniors age 60 and up, students, military and first responders.

• House of Gucci (R, 2021) will screen at Red River Theatres on Thursday, Dec. 23, at 6 p.m.

• Nightmare Alley (R, 2021) will screen at Red River Theatres on Thursday, Dec. 23, at 6:30 p.m.; Friday, Dec. 24, at noon and 3:30 p.m.; Saturday, Dec. 25, at 4 & 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, Dec. 26, through Sunday, Jan. 2, 12:30, 4 & 7:30 p.m.

• Last Christmas (2019, PG-13) will screen at the Music Hall in Portsmouth on Thursday, Dec. 23, at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $15 for adults and $12 for seniors age 60 and up, students, military and first responders.

• Licorice Pizza (R, 2021) will screen at Red River Theatres in Concord Friday, Dec. 24, 4 p.m.; Saturday, Dec. 25, 3:30 & 7 p.m.; Sunday, Dec. 26, through Sunday, Jan. 2, 12, 3:30 & 7 p.m.

• The Strong Man (1926) starring Harry Langdon and directed by Frank Capra, a silent film with live musical accompaniment by Jeff Rapsis, on Sunday, Dec. 26, at 2 p.m. at Wilton Town Hall Theatre. Admission is free; $10 donation suggested.

• The Senior Movie Mornings Series at the Rex Theatre (23 Amherst St., Manchester) presents White Christmas(1954) on Tuesday, Dec. 28, at 10 a.m. Tickets cost $10. Call 668-5588 or visit palacetheatre.org/rex-theatre.

• The Metropolitan Opera — Cinderella on Saturday, Jan. 1, 2022, at 12:55 p.m. at Bank of NH Stage in Concord. Tickets cost $26.

• Girl Shy (1924), a silent film starring Harold Lloyd, on Thursday, Feb. 17, 2022, at 7:30 p.m. at the Rex in Manchester, featuring live musical accompaniment by Jeff Rapsis. Admission costs $10.

• Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ(1925), a silent film with live musical accompaniment by Jeff Rapsis, on Thursday, April 21, 2022, at 7:30 p.m. at the Rex in Manchester. Tickets cost $10.

Featured photo: Spider-Man. Courtesy photo.

Powder Days, by Heather Hansman

Powder Days, by Heather Hansman (Hanover Square Press, 264 pages)

Heather Hansman learned to love skiing in New England, even though she’s more of a West Coast woman these days. An accomplished writer and editor who has worked for magazines such as Outside, Backcountry and Powder, Hansman doesn’t qualify as a ski bum, the skiing-obsessed person who will take on low-paying jobs at ski resorts in order to indulge the passion full-time. But she was for a while and brings deep insider knowledge to Powder Days, an examination of what rising temperatures are doing to the ski industry, wrapped in a love letter to the sport and to winter.

“I know that skiing is ephemeral and selfish, but I ache when I’m away from it for too long, and I don’t think it’s just the dopamine drop that drives the fixation,” Hansman writes.

Before you non-skiers depart for lack of interest, you should know that while this is a book written by a skier for other skiers, this shouldn’t be a deal-breaker for the sedentary and clumsy (myself the latter). Hansman is a graceful writer, as lithe in language as in body, and while she occasionally slips into skier-speak, with a little Googling, you will learn many interesting things, such as that dangerous clumps of snow on a ski route are called frozen chicken heads, a term I enthusiastically welcome to my vocabulary. In short, I don’t ski, and I still found this book engrossing.

Hansmen begins by recalling her early ski-bum days, which began around a campfire in Maine when another skier offered Hansman a job scanning lift tickets at a ski resort in Colorado. “I latched on to the idea that if I went west, I would be braver and truer and more exciting,” she writes.

She had become a skier like most people do — because her parents paid for lessons. “You don’t become a skier by accident — it’s an objectively stupid, expensive, gear-intensive sport — but my parents enabled it early, cramming my brother and me into hand-me-down boots and carting us to New Hampshire, so they could ski too,” she writes. “ … In college, I’d wake up in the post-party, predawn dark to drive across Maine and New Hampshire just to ski knobby backcountry lines in the White Mountains. I’ve always felt clearer in motion.”

That said, Hansman came from a family of occasional skiers, not those who strap toddlers to skis while they are learning to walk. Her obsession with the sport and lifestyle grew organically, somewhat to her bewilderment. “Skiers chase snow and freedom and wildness, at the expense of a lot of other things. I’m still trying to understand how something so ephemeral can shape your whole life.”

Hansman dips into the history of skiing in the U.S, acknowledging “the ski industry starts where my ski story starts, in the knobby mountains of New England.” She recalls skiing the Tuckerman Ravine and the Sherburne Trail of Mount Washington, created in the 1930s, back when runs were “steep and skinny, just a couple of skis wide.”

“That was skiing for a long time, no lifts, just a grind uphill and a slide back down.”

She then zips through how the sport exploded, its growth tracking with the lives of baby boomers, and how its popularity in the 1970s led to today’s elaborate resorts and McMountain trails that she fears have taken the soul out of the sport and tarnished it with elitism. (Fun fact: more than 50 billionaires have homes in Aspen.)

The bigger problem for the industry, however, is not the unaffordability of homes in ski country, but the warming climate. There’s less snow these days than there was a quarter-century ago, and it’s not always cold enough to make snow, as 88 percent of ski resorts do. We are seeing, as Hansman puts it, “the winnowing of winter.” She quotes a meteorologist friend who says that what concerns him most is that low temperatures are increasing faster than high temperatures. This means that places like New England have fewer days when the temperature falls below freezing.

“Depending on the emissions scenario you choose, snowfall is predicted to shrink by up to a third by the end of the century. That thin margin of winter is going to have a huge bearing on the future of skiing, and on whether or not people can keep counting on the seasons to eke out a way of life.”

Hansman’s worries that Aspen could be the new Amarillo by century’s end may strike some as the hysteria of the climate-grief-stricken. By the end of January, her fear of “hot, snowless winters” may actually hold some appeal. But there is real concern about what will happen if recent trends continue. Resorts can make snow, sure, but it still has to be cold enough. “I get a deep gut ache when I think about losing snow, about the contrast between my childhood memories of snow and the gray slush of right now. … New England skiing feels almost too painful now. How could it have gotten this bad so fast?”

Hansman ends with another kind of grief, the acknowledgement that skiing can be deadly. “If you get deep into skiing, eventually you have to acknowledge that the thing you love can kill the people you love.” Then, she pivots into the tendency for thrill-seekers like skiers to abuse drugs and alcohol, and sometimes to kill themselves. Deaths of despair are on the rise in the U.S. and this is an important topic, but it was a bit jarring to have this conversation take place at the end of the book. That said, it’s a small quibble with an otherwise solid book, which might even be more interesting for nonskiers than skiers, who already know about frozen chicken heads.

Book Events

Author events

• JAMES ROLLINS Author presents The Starless Crown, in conversation with Terry Brooks. Virtual event hosted by Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord. Mon., Jan. 10, 7 p.m. Via Zoom. Registration required. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com.

• TIMOTHY BOUDREAU Author presents on the craft of writing short stories. Sat., Jan. 15, 9:45 to 11:45 a.m. Peterborough Town Library, 2 Concord St., Peterborough. Visit monadnockwriters.org.

• CHAD ORZEL Author presents A Brief History of Timekeeping. Virtual event hosted by Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord. Thurs., Jan. 27, 7 p.m. Via Zoom. Registration required. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com.

• ISABEL ALLENDE Author presents Violeta. Virtual event hosted by Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord. Sat., Jan. 29, 7 p.m. Via Zoom. Registration and tickets required, to include the purchase of the book. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com.

• JOHN NICHOLS Author presents Coronavirus Criminals and Pandemic Profiters. Virtual event hosted by Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord. Tues., Feb. 1, 7 p.m. Via Zoom. Registration required. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com.

• GARY SAMPSON AND INEZ MCDERMOTT Photographer Sampson and art historian McDermott discuss New Hampshire Now: A Photographic Diary of Life in the Granite State. Sat., Feb. 19, 9:45 to 11:45 a.m. Peterborough Town Library, 2 Concord St., Peterborough. Visit monadnockwriters.org.

Poetry

• CAROL WESTBURG AND SUE BURTON Virtual poetry reading hosted by Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord. Thurs., Jan. 20, 7 p.m. Via Zoom. Registration required. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com or call 224-0562.

• DOWN CELLAR POETRY SALON Poetry event series presented by the Poetry Society of New Hampshire. Monthly. First Sunday. Visit poetrysocietynh.wordpress.com.

Book Clubs

• BOOKERY Online. Monthly. Third Thursday, 6 p.m. Bookstore based in Manchester. Visit bookerymht.com/online-book-club or call 836-6600.

• GIBSON’S BOOKSTORE Online, via Zoom. Monthly. First Monday, 5:30 p.m. Bookstore based in Concord. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com/gibsons-book-club-2020-2021 or call 224-0562.

• TO SHARE BREWING CO. 720 Union St., Manchester. Monthly. Second Thursday, 6 p.m. RSVP required. Visit tosharebrewing.com or call 836-6947.

• GOFFSTOWN PUBLIC LIBRARY 2 High St., Goffstown. Monthly. Third Wednesday, 1:30 p.m. Call 497-2102, email elizabethw@goffstownlibrary.com or visit goffstownlibrary.com

• BELKNAP MILL Online. Monthly. Last Wednesday, 6 p.m. Based in Laconia. Email bookclub@belknapmill.org.

• NASHUA PUBLIC LIBRARY Online. Monthly. Second Friday, 3 p.m. Call 589-4611, email information@nashualibrary.org or visit nashualibrary.org.

Language

• FRENCH LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE CLASSES

Offered remotely by the Franco-American Centre. Six-week session with classes held Thursdays from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. $225. Visit facnh.com/education or call 623-1093.

Album Reviews 21/12/23

Alice Phoebe Lou, Child’s Play (self-released)

I don’t like getting all class-war on an innocent album that never did anything to me personally, but sometimes weak albums released by highly privileged postmodern artists really get on my nerves, I have to tell ya. I do try to telegraph my moves in that regard, and I’d think by now you know I don’t trust most indie bands these days, given that the Pitchfork Media crowd has become the “essential art” dictators of the potty-trained “professional management class” that’s being bashed to smithereens in leftist intellectual circles. A big-time PR firm is handling this piece of junk, the latest album from this South African-raised white woman whose parents are documentary filmmakers; Lou’s voice was purported to “sound like Judy Garland, Kate Bush, or Angel Olsen” but “mostly her own.” They got the last bit right anyway; she’s a pretty unremarkable fashion-victim waif, and her woozy awkwardness (not to mention absolutely dreadful Lawrence Welk keyboard sound) had me reaching for the Off button every 10 seconds. She strikes me as a third-rate Kate Bush with a decent-enough ear for samples, but, as always, your mileage may vary. D

ABBA, Voyage (OK Good Records)

What a treat it was to witness the Pitchfork Media writer squeezing his brain for the requisite 1,500-word essay on this album! It’s the first one in 40 years from the Swedish pop group that basically owned the 1970s, and so Pitchfork Guy’s obscure shibboleths included nonsense like “glam boogie” and “scandi-disco bounce.” It was so rich and delicious to watch him squirm, when all that’s really to report is that the two dude songwriters still have it, and the singers all sound older. That’s it. There have been a couple of hilariously bad musicals based on the band’s million-year-old tunes, of course, all of which resurged in popularity after the 1990s ABBA Gold album, so it’s not that these people have ever disappeared. Anyhow, the first two songs threaten to go Celtic Woman, especially “When You Danced With Me,” which has an Irish jig feel to it, but most of the balance forward is the usual formula of all-hook tuneage fit for children’s dentist overhead speakers. Same as it ever was, really. A

PLAYLIST

• It’s the least wonderful time of the year for people like me, music columnists who have to spin column-gold out of literally nothing, because there are basically no important new records coming out on Friday, which is Christmas Eve. And why? Well, because it’s time to forget about important things like redundant, overhyped music albums and instead — yuck — feel jolly and bright or whatever, and be sociable — with people! Gross! — and visit. It stinks, man, I just want some albums to write about, so I can fill this column with humor and fascinating news about whatever stupid pop diva or tedious Coldplay-clone-band band, because it’s my job, to fill this space with information and advice that you won’t follow anyway, but at least I try. But here we are again, with the never-ending culture war in happy détente, and me with no albums to write about, because only certified loons (and metal bands) (same thing) would put out an album on Christmas Eve. Fact is, guys, I’ve been through this for nearly 20 years now, scrambling for stuff to write about this holiday week. You see folks, here’s the thing: I must stop Christmas from coming. But how?

• No, seriously, it’s that time of year when I actually want to hear bad new albums from non-musically trained indie bands banging their ting-tinglers and disposable hit singles from whichever lollipop-brained Ariana Grande-of-the-month is honking her gong-zookas. But do I dare even bother webbing into the Album Of The Year site to look for an album to talk about here, or should I talk about my feelings? I don’t know, but here, fine, I’ll look. OMG, guys, I totally found one, it’s Tales From The Pink Forest, by some band or whatever called ID KY! I feel like Yukon Cornelius on that Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer show, like I was chipping and chipping at the barren Google wasteland and finally there it was! Silverrrr! Silver and gold! OK! Now, ahem, let’s just calm down and try to find out what an “ID KY” is; it’s probably something dumb, like some YouTuber playing Panic! At The Disco cover songs on a kazoo (I’m not expecting anything more artistic than that, honestly). OK, great, there’s literally nothing on Google or YouTube about this, so now I feel like Geraldo Rivera after he opened Al Capone’s secret vault and came out with a sales receipt from Walmart or whatever it was. Just great. OK, let’s pretend it was just really dumb polka played on a Charlie Brown toy piano. Aaaand we’re moving, people, let’s go.

• Hmm, it’s some other band-or-whatever-who-cares with a random four-letter name, this time MDMJ! I can’t wait to hear — oh, never mind, the album is called “Album” probably because it doesn’t have a title yet. I’m about to bag it, folks. Look at all you Whos down in Whoville, just laughing at the sad music critic clown making a fool out of himself, so that you can laugh and point. I can’t wait to stuff your Christmas tree up the chimney and have my dog drag it to the top of Mount Crumpit. OK, one last pass and I’m getting a drink, I deserve it.

• We’ll evacuate these dreary premises by closing with — OK, there are no other records supposedly being released on Christmas Eve. None. So let’s just get drunk and listen to the only thing that’s literally coming out on Christmas Day itself! Of course it’s a metal record, Sonic Wolves’s It’s All A Game To Me EP! Ha ha, these three people look like sleepy Hells Angels, and the EP is a two-song “tribute to Lemmy and Cliff Burton!” Figures, there’s no music for me to trash, um, I mean critique, so let’s do a last Jell-O shot and forget this column ever even happened. Happy holidays and whatever!

If you’re in a local band, now’s a great time to let me know about your EP, your single, whatever’s on your mind. Let me know how you’re holding yourself together without being able to play shows or jam with your homies. Send a recipe for keema matar. Message me on Twitter (@esaeger) or Facebook (eric.saeger.9).

Pretty sweet

Sweet wines for holiday giving and drinking

The holiday season provides us with the opportunity to exchange gifts with those who mean so much to us. Therefore, this time of year with feasting on savory and sweets alike, why not select that bottle to pair with fruit, or cheese, or with a sweet dessert? Past the bottles of chardonnay and cabernet sauvignon, past the bottles of pinot grigio there lie countless options available to us. Pick out a bright sparkling sweet wine, or a “fizzy” red wine. Try a wine normally reserved for cooking or try a truly luxurious sauternes from Bordeaux. Whatever your choice, you will be rewarded with a wonderfully new experience.

Our first wine is a classic. Martini & Rossi Asti Sparkling Wine (originally priced at $14.99, and reduced to $9.95 at the New Hampshire Liquor & Wine Outlets) is a label familiar to many. A couple of decades ago we were pummeled with TV ads for Asti Spumante. In late 1993 Asti Spumante was promoted to the top-level DOCG classification, at which point the “spumante” was officially dropped, resulting in the same great and inexpensive wine with a much shorter name. This wine comes from the Piedmont region of Italy and is made from the moscato bianco grape. It is produced by cold fermentation under pressure and is created to be enjoyed immediately. This is a slightly sweet, bubbly wine with notes of peach with some herbs that transform on the palate to pear and tropical pineapple notes. As a very approachable wine that is low in alcohol, it appeals to those who are just being introduced to wine.

Our second wine is another classic. Roscato Provincia Di Pavia Rosso Dolce (originally priced at $12.99, and reduced to $8.95 at the New Hampshire Liquor & Wine Outlets) is a delicately sweet and gently fizzy red wine from the northern Italian region of Lombardy. Made from three grape varieties — croatine, teroldego and lagrein — this is a slightly sweet wine that can also be paired to entrees such as classic tomato-based Italian dishes. However, this chameleon of a wine can also be paired to cheeses or just sipped when slightly chilled. It has notes of raspberries and cherries.

Our third wine is frequently thought of as reserved for cooking. Colombo Sweet Marsala Wine ($10.99, and available at the New Hampshire Liquor & Wine Outlets) is a hidden wonder. Marsala is a Sicilian wine, fortified, with a spectrum of sweetness, conditioned on the preferences of the region and winemaker. Marsala grew in popularity at the time when the British were becoming invested monetarily and in taste in fortified wines such as sherry and port. While its popularity has waned over the last century, it can be savored in front of the fireplace with its dark amber color, and hints of dates and apricots. It is full, warm and satisfying to the palate, a wonderful wine to be sipped after dinner.

Our fourth and fifth wines are luxurious sauternes. The 2016 Michel Lynch Prestige Sauternes ($19.99 for a 375 ml bottle, and available at the New Hampshire Liquor & Wine Outlets) is liquid silk in a small bottle. Also available in New Hampshire is another sweet sauternes – Château Guiraud Sauternes 1er Cru Classé (originally priced at $27.99, and reduced to $24.99 for a 375 ml bottle at the New Hampshire Liquor & Wine Outlets). Why are two sauternes noted in this column? The answer is simple: The state stores do not inventory a wide selection of these cherished rare wines. These aromatic wines are produced from semillon grapes that are botrytized. When conditions are just right, nature can hold a usually nasty fungus in such check that something special happens. Instead of destroying a crop, the fungus creates grapes with incredibly concentrated flavor that can make some of the world’s sweetest, most precious wines. Botrytis cinerea is more affectionately known as “noble rot.” It’s the same kind of rot that spoils strawberries and soft fruit with greyish fuzz. So what makes this mold noble? A fine balance of moisture, sunlight and temperature. Ripe, healthy grapes must still be on the vine as fall begins, when misty mornings provide the moisture that the fungus needs to thrive. The fungus pierces the grape’s skin to feast on its juice, but after a few hours, sunshine and otherwise dry conditions follow to evaporate the moisture and stop the fungus in its tracks.

Try these alternatives to the all-too-familiar wines. The experience will be rewarding.

Featured photo: Courtesy photo.

Chocolate & caramel oatmeal bars

It’s almost Christmas, so you probably are already surrounded by many treats. You may wonder why you need one more dessert recipe right now. The answer is simple: These bars are delicious and make a fabulous dessert that doesn’t require a lot of time.

During this holiday season, cookies usually take center stage, which is fine. The problem with cookies is that you need to make batches of them. Plus, you need to find a cute serving tray on which to serve them. That’s where this bar recipe can assist you. You can bake and serve in the same pan!

When you make these (not if but when), there are three important ingredient notes. (1) You need to use old-fashioned or rolled oats to provide the correct texture. (2) The soft caramels are the ones that come individually wrapped but don’t have that white/creamy center. (3) Although it’s only a few tablespoons, whole milk really is the best choice to keep the caramel sauce creamy.

Now you have a dessert that is bound to receive many oohs and ahhs. Make sure you save one for yourself!

Chocolate & caramel oatmeal bars
Makes 20

1½ cups flour
1½ cups old-fashioned oats
1 cup light brown sugar
¾ cup unsalted butter, softened
1 teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
7 ounces soft caramels
4 Tablespoons whole milk
12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Using a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, mix flour, oats, sugar, butter, baking soda and salt on medium speed until butter is the size of rice.
Line a 13×9 pan with parchment paper, and then grease the parchment paper with butter or nonstick cooking spray.
Place 3/4 of the cookie dough in the pan; spread evenly and pat firmly.
Bake the bottom crust for 12 minutes.
While the crust bakes, combine the caramels and milk in a microwave-safe bowl.
Heat the caramel mixture in the microwave in 30-second increments, stirring after each.
Remove crust from oven; spread melted caramel over it.
Sprinkle chocolate chips on top of caramel.
Scoop remaining cookie dough into tablespoons, and distribute evenly over the chocolate chips.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.
Cool for at least 30 minutes before serving.

Michele Pesula Kuegler has been thinking about food her entire life. Since 2007, the New Hampshire native has been sharing these food thoughts and recipes at her blog, Think Tasty. Visit thinktasty.com to find more of her recipes.

Photo: Chocolate and caramel oatmeal bars. Courtesy photo.

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