Juror #2

Juror #2 (PG-13)

A juror realizes he has a pretty significant connection to the case he’s on in the Clint Eastwood-directed courtroom thriller Juror #2, a competent, enjoyable movie.

Justin Kemp (Nicholas Hoult) attempts to get out of jury duty by explaining that his wife Allison (Zoey Deutch) is in the final weeks of a high-risk pregnancy, but the judge (Amy Aquino) says nice try and thus Justin becomes juror #2 on what he learns is the trial of James Sythe (Gabriel Basso), accused of murdering his girlfriend Kendall (Francesca Eastwood). As prosecutor Faith Killebrew (Toni Collete) starts to describe the crime in her opening arguments, Justin realizes that Kendall was killed at roughly the same time, in the same general area, where he “hit a deer” (a deer, he assumes) with his car on a rainy night after leaving a bar. Several years sober, Justin didn’t drink at the bar, but just stared down the drink he bought while wrapped up in grief over his and Allison’s previous pregnancy loss. But still, as his AA sponsor and lawyer Larry (Kiefer Sutherland) explains, his history of DUIs and the politics of the case, coming as Faith is running for district attorney, means there will be no going easy on Justin should he turn himself in. Will Justin let the jury convict James? Will anyone figure out that this guy acting squirrely during the whole trial is more involved than he lets on?

Chris Messina plays the defense attorney and the jury members include characters played by J.K. Simmons, Cedric Yarbrough and Leslie Bibb, all bringing nice character notes to their relatively minor roles. Juror #2 across the board has a John Grisham-lite sheen and does a good job balancing a few serious thoughts with character drama. It is takes itself just seriously enough but not too seriously and is neither too clever nor too silly. It is an interesting story, with good performances — an entertaining movie even if it isn’t setting the world on fire. Which makes the most unsettling aspect of this suspense film the movie itself. If you’ve heard anything about it, you’ve probably heard about its half-hearted theatrical release, quick move to VOD (where it seems to be doing well) and its scheduled Dec. 20 release on Max. I’m not sure what this movie’s weird release trajectory means for the future of solid, non-awards-seeking dramas but, I guess, enjoy ’em while we’ve still got ’em? B

Available for rent or purchase.

Conclave (PG)

The pope-picking process is filled with intrigue and a fun amount of cattiness in Conclave.

An old (fictional) pope dies and the Vatican machinery gears up for the election by the cardinals of a new pope. Even as the pope’s close associates — such as cardinals Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes), Bellini (Stanley Tucci) and Tremblay (John Lithgow) — pray over his very recently deceased body there is political jockeying. Three weeks later when the cardinals from all around the world arrive to be sequestered in conclave to pick a new pope, all the men standing in clumps outside, getting in a smoke, have a real Tammany Hall vibe. An Italian cardinal, Tedesco (Sergio Castellitto), seems to be working hard for the top spot, letting anyone who will listen know what a conservative, traditional guy he is, looking to make Latin great again and whatnot. Also a frontrunner is Adeyemi (Lucian Msamati), an African cardinal who seems friendly and popular and has very hardline social views. Bellini doesn’t want to be pope — and tells everybody that doesn’t want to be pope, while also letting fly his opinions about openness and tolerance and, gasp, the involvement of women. And then there’s Tremblay, who seems to be a consensus candidate for the “least worst choice.” As everybody tries to Nate Silver about whose support will go where, a mystery cardinal shows up, Benitez (Carlos Diehz). Born in Mexico, Benitez has served in hot spots — Congo, Iraq — and was recently named the Cardinal of Kabul. He is the new kid everyone in this very clique-y lunch room is whispering about.

A “woo-hoo!” from me came during one of the too-few scenes with Sister Agnes (Isabella Rossellini), a nun from the order of Our Lady of Mess Around and Find Out. Shortly after Benitez arrives, Lawrence asks him to say grace before the meal and when he gives a shout out to the Sisters who prepared the food Agnes gives a little snort-chuckle, which feels like it just wraps up all sorts of things about her relationship with the church and the priests. It was a well-crafted moment (and not even the one I woo-hoo-ed about).

Maybe you’re sick of anything election-y, but Conclave is an engaging dishy drama, particularly if you have some CCD in your past. Stanley Tucci may not be at full speed here but he’s fully compelling as a man wrestling with how much he wants this job he knows he has only a slim chance at getting. Fiennes is also fun to watch as he has to deal with one person and their problems after another while seemingly getting sucked in deeper to his own crisis of faith and maybe just a little bit giving into ambition. And all over, the air is thick with side-eyes, enjoyable soap-opera-esque close-ups and little nuggets of the driest humor. I don’t know that this is necessarily a great movie but I had a great time watching it. A Available for rent or purchase.

Megalopolis (R)

Put the TV show Succession, Julie Tambor’s 1999 film Titus and Baz Luhrman’s Red Curtain movie trilogy in a blender and sprinkle that glittery, stilted-dialogue smoothie with vibes from the old Emo Kylo Ren Twitter account and you get the general idea of Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis, just a weirdo trip of an “I’m using my own money, nobody can say ‘no’ to me” visual project.

New York City is here called New Rome, ruled by Mayor Cicero (Giancarlo Esposito), who I think is supposed to represent the tired status quo. Cesar Catilina (Adam Driver) is sort of a tech bro-ish inventor of a Vibranium-esque does-everything material called Megalon. Cesar is also an architect type who is part of the Design Authority that is building/seeking to build a bunch of Dr. Seuss twisty nonsense that somehow represents society’s improvement. Party girl Julia Cicero (Nathalie Emmanuel) takes a shine to Cesar but, like, shouldn’t — it feels like one of those “he’s a genius, I can fix him” situations that just makes you sad for women in film. (This whole movie is filled with female characters that seem to only exist in relation to the male characters, with no independent motivations or thoughts.) Cesar’s uncle Hamilton Crassus (Jon Voight) is the richest man in the, let’s say, world and helps to fund Cesar’s vision. Also a Crassus nephew is Clodio Pulcher (Shia LaBeouf), a weaselly fail-son with an interest in fascism. And then you have Aubrey Plaza as a TV money honey with gold digger ambitions, Grace VanderWaal as a pop girlie vestal virgin, Jason Schwartzman I think still playing his Hunger Games character, Laurence Fishburne as a narrator and, why not, Talia Shire and Dustin Hoffman. Plus Cesar and Julia can sometimes stop time — figuratively or literally, you decide!

If all that sounds like a bunch of unconnected words, that is a pretty good sense of what it’s like to watch Megalopolis. The most consistent element of the movie is the visuals, in particular the way the clothes are designed to sell a “Rome but make it modern” fashion aesthetic. Lotta belted drapiness — but I’m not mad at it! The movie’s costume designer (Milena Canonero, according to IMDb, who has done some costume design in Wes Anderson movies) seems to be having fun with the idea of, for example, translating Rome senate robes to male business looks. It may even be worth a costume design Oscar nomination.

Then there’s the Adam Driver of it all — taking this whole thing very seriously. Maybe a little too seriously? But occasionally you get moments of him making the whole ridiculous Shakespearean vibe legitimately funny (Google “Adam Driver back to the club”) or making it feel like an actual human is involved (a few but not all of his scenes with Emmanuel), which feels like a real accomplishment for a movie this turned-up-to-11 at all times.

Megalopolis is long and rambling, though you get the sense that Coppola would tell you every minute is intensely necessary. I don’t feel like it’s intensely necessary for anyone to watch it but, some day when its rental price comes way down or it shows up on some streaming network, this experiment in an almost comic book movie approach to Ideas-based filmmaking is worth a viewing as a curiosity. C+ Available for rent.

Spellbound (PG)

A 15-year-old princess is trying to keep up family appearances after her parents, the king and queen, turn into giant destructive monsters in the animated musical Spellbound.

I’m going to spoil the end of the movie because the “what it’s all about” might hit some families harder than others: “My parents are monsters” is clearly fairy tale metaphor territory. In this case, it’s a couple that have stopped operating successfully as a couple or even a team of co-parents but have become, literally, trapped in their own anger. The movie does a good job of addressing what that means for adults and how parents who don’t have the same love they once had for each other can still work together to make their child feel unconditionally loved and supported. And how kids can trust that love as a forever thing, even if their parents’ marriage isn’t. All of this is I think pretty well told but I can also imagine that for families going through it this might not be a fun movie night.

With the help of royal advisers like Nazara (voice of Jennifer Lewis) and Bolinar (voice of John Lithgow), Princess Ellian (voice of Rachel Zegler) has done a good job of making sure the right things get signed and the right people get enough proof of life that the kingdom generally thinks the royal couple are alive, well and in charge. And while they’re alive, King Solon (voice of Javier Bardem) and Queen Ellsmere (voice of Nicole Kidman) are not well or in charge. They are giant, brightly colored fuzzy-and-feathery monsters who don’t recognize Ellian or anyone else and who crash through the palace knocking things over and smashing holes in walls. This can’t go on, Nazara and Bolinar say, and convince Ellian that if they can’t change her parents back then she will become queen.

Ellian agrees because she has a plan that involves a pair of Squishmallow-esque oracles — Luno Oracle of the Moon (voice of Nathan Lane) and Sunny Oracle of the Sun (voice of Titus Burgess). The Oracles are sort of horrified that the royals are literal monsters but eventually explain the quest Ellian must take her parents on to turn them human again.

Along the way, Bolinar accidentally trades bodies with Ellian’s pet rat, the palace guards chase the family in order to catch the monsters they don’t believe are the king and queen and there’s a lot of completely acceptable singing that I don’t remember a single tune from.

Spellbound is a perfectly cromulent example of the mid-level animated feature. Spellbound doesn’t break new ground but it does tell a story with well-crafted emotional beats and enough fuzzy creature goofiness to satisfy kid viewers. B- Streaming on Netflix.

Piece by Piece (PG)

The life and musical career of Pharrell Williams gets the autobiography documentary treatment in the animated Lego movie Piece by Piece.

In some ways this is a fairly straightforward look at Williams’ life and impact on music, with discussion of his longtime love of music and talking heads telling their parts. Except that everybody here, from his parents to Snoop Dog and Gwen Stefani, is rendered as Legos in a Lego world. This animated element allows for a nice visual exploration of Williams’ discussion of his relationship to music — how it makes him feel, what he sees and thinks about when he’s listening to music and creating music. And his Behind the Music-style “dark period” is about what sounds like basically a creative block, which he talks about working through.

The Lego of it all makes the movie perhaps appear on its face to be a kids’ movie. While the songs have been, as far as I can remember, largely edited to only their PG parts and a “PG Spray” fogs up the room for Snoop’s scenes, it is a movie that is probably of more interest to adults or older kids who are familiar with the music. I could see the movie appealing to musically or creatively inclined kids — but again, probably an older audience than the bigger-tent The Lego Movie-style Lego movies.

But for adults and those older kids, Piece by Piece is a fun and visually exciting charmer. A Available for rent or purchase.

Gifts for movie-lovers

• Oscar Wars: A History of Hollywood in Gold, Sweat and Tearsby Michael Schulman. This 2023 book is a delight for movie history fans. It looks at different periods of Oscar races, from the silent film years through a coda on The Slap, and uses Oscar campaigns as a way to look at the movie industry and wider culture. My current read is November 2024 release Box Office Poison: Hollywood’s Story in a Century of Flops by Tim Robey, an interesting examination of eras in movies through the lens of box office bombs.

• This Had Oscar BuzzNow that Patreon allows you to gift memberships, you can give a fellow movie lover a subscription to this podcast hosted by Joe Reid (who does the Cinematrix game and Movie Fantasy League, both over at Vulture.com) and Chris Feil (an excellent freelance writer and thinker about movies). The show produces one regular episode a week plus bonus episodes for subscribers, which in this award season include quick-hit looks at award nominations. Make it a deluxe gift by also giving a subscription to Demi, Myself and I, a Patreon-subscription podcast where Joe Reid looks at the films of Demi Moore.

• Movies at Red River Theatres This downtown Concord theater sells gift certificates, gift memberships (which, depending on the level, can come with discounts, movie passes, free popcorn and more) and Dinner and a Movie packages, which feature two movie passes plus a $25 gift certificate to a participating restaurant for $40, according to redrivertheatres.org.

• Movies at O’neil Cinemas The O’neil Cinemas at Brickyard Square in Epping sells gift cards, which can be purchased online at oneilcinemas.com.

• Movies at Chunky’s If you like to give a physical thing with your gift card, Chunky’s Cinema Pub in Manchester offers gift boxes (with a gift card, movie pass and popcorn pass) themed to look like movie candy and gift baskets (with a gift card, admissions and popcorn passes and theater candy, all in a popcorn bag or bucket, depending on the size). See chunkys.com.

• Movies and more at Smitty’s Cinema Gift cards to Tilton’s Smitty’s Cinema also cover purchases in the GameLAB with its arcade and other attractions. See smittyscinema.com.

• MUBI You can gift the streaming service that offers a changing roster of independent, international and other not-your-standard blockbuster films. A big deal film currently streaming is this year’s Demi Moore stand-out The Substance — you can even get a “We are sorry you didn’t appreciate your experience with The Substance” T-shirt (that’s a particularly chilling phrase from the movie) to level up your gift.

North Country land struggle

Filmmaker looks at colonial territories

Jay Craven is an award-winning veteran New England filmmaker. He spoke with the Hippo about his 10th narrative feature film, Lost Nation. Craven is known for making Northern New England Westerns. His titles include Where the Rivers Flow North with Rip Torn and Michael J. Fox, Disappearances with Kris Kristofferson, and Northern Borders with Bruce Dern. He has taught for 25 years at Marlboro College in southern Vermont as well as Sarah Lawrence College. At Marlboro he educates students on how to make movies by involving them in the movie-making process. Lost Nation will kick off a series of New Hampshire screenings at Red River Theatres on Friday, Dec. 13, running through Thursday, Dec. 19. Craven will be appearing at select showings that opening weekend. Visit redrivertheatres.org for more information.

Would you like to give a brief overview of the film?

It’s basically a historical action drama and it’s set in the North Country during the period of the American Revolution. It involves the fact that the huge territory that is now considered Vermont was contested territory at that time between New York and the territory. Meanwhile, a scrappy and some could argue somewhat corrupt New Hampshire governor, Benning Wentworth, started issuing titles to poor farmers and settlers coming out of southern New England, New York claimed. It precipitated an intense struggle between the settlers who were settling the land and New York, which late in the game decided they’d better start settling the land or else it was going to disappear.

A drama unfolded where the New Hampshire grants holders, led by Ethan Allen and others — Ethan Allen considered sort of a founding father of Vermont — resisted New York encroachments on the land that they were settling. It’s the drama of this land conflict between New Hampshire and New York, led by the settlers on the New Hampshire grants. Ethan Allen is a central character, and also Lucy Terry Prince, who was a pioneering Black poet who settled with her family on a New Hampshire grant in southeastern what is now Vermont, Guilford, near Brattleboro, an area that was a stronghold of New York sentiment. It was a very turbulent setting for them to try to both settle their homestead, also as Black people. The film captures the drama of land and freedom — in the case of Ethan Allen, on a huge scale, involving the entire state of Vermont, which frankly he and his brother ended up owning 200,000 acres, because they were land speculators, too. And on a smaller scale, the Prince family, which was trying to simply secure and develop their 100-acre homestead using a New Hampshire grant. It’s a historical action drama around the high-stakes land struggle between New Hampshire and New York, which resulted in that contested territory becoming at first the independent republic of Vermont and later the state of Vermont.

Would you want to go more in depth on Lucy Terry Prince?

Yeah, Lucy Terry Prince was enslaved at the age of 3 to a family in western Massachusetts for 30 years, serving that family, but she also was a poet, and only one of her poems actually survives, which is called ‘Bars Fight,’ about the 1746 Deerfield Massacre, where indigenous fighters allied with the French attacked settlers in Deerfield, Massachusetts. Her poem told the story and was known far and wide and was passed on orally, but it’s the first known work of African American literature. And she was known for convening sort of story soirees on the porch of the family that she was working for, of their house, and would bring by storytellers and poets and people making up stuff as they went along. Another former slave, Abijah Prince, married her and bought her freedom with money that he earned fighting in the French and Indian War, and he was gifted this 100-acre plot of land in Guilford, and over five years developed [it] and brought his family here. When they brought their family here, their closest neighbor became an antagonist, wanting their land and also just sort of harassing them and making their life very difficult. You know, spoiling their crops and scattering their feed to the wind and letting their animals loose and, you know, attacking and beating them and burning their hay rake and stuff like that, so Lucy developed a strategy essentially to defend her family in the moment but more so in court all the way to what was called in Vermont the governor’s supreme council. [She] prevailed, you know, which would have been extremely unusual, frankly, for a woman, let alone a Black woman, to accomplish during this time. She was smart, and she was not going to take it lying down, and she, in what was already a very turbulent, deeply divided political situation, was able to push through and assert her family’s rights and two of her sons fought the American Revolution. Only one of her poems survives, but … she was definitely known as a storyteller and to a certain extent a visionary. … So it’s two different stories of the struggle for land and freedom, one on a big scale, one on a small intimate scale, but they are parallel and they overlap briefly.

With Ethan Allen, could he be considered a founding father of New Hampshire as well?

Well, he was working under New Hampshire jurisdiction when he started the struggle, so absolutely he would have been considered a New Hampshire pioneer because it was New Hampshire territory that he was defending against New York, so in some ways Vermont was born out of New Hampshire and was born out of a sort of, we could call solidarity, generosity, imagination, greed, whatever you want to call it. But no, there’s no question that when Ethan began his land struggle against New York, he was doing it on behalf of the New Hampshire granted territory.

How did this whole specific situation arise?

Benning Wentworth, the New Hampshire governor, commissioned 131 towns in that territory and he kept parcels of land in each town that were his, but they were running a pretty active land business. If it weren’t for this land struggle, the territory of Vermont would be New York. Although, what we also show in the movie is that when things got tough in this land struggle, Ethan Allen and his brother entered negotiations with the British during the American Revolution to actually deliver that territory to the British. So it could have also ended up part of Canada because there were some attacks coming from Quebec into Vermont. The Americans were not defending them and the Continental Congress did not like what Ethan was doing, because New York had a lot of power in the Continental Congress, including the fact that Alexander Hamilton was a representative from New York. Likewise, the governor of New York, George Clinton, was a very powerful figure. Ethan went to the Continental Congress twice begging the case of vermont or the territory against New York and was rejected.

What area of land is this referencing? What would it have made the United States look like today?

Well it would have been the whole state of, the area that is currently the whole state of Vermont would have been New Hampshire, all the way over to Lake Champlain. Because it’s interesting, New Hampshire Gov. Benning Wentworth, the New Hampshire governor, claimed he settled it first and established political control on the entire western part of the state. So it was odd. The area that was closest to New Hampshire was controlled by New York. The area that was closest to New York was controlled by New Hampshire. … I mean, it was intense. But then the film goes over how all the colonies came into their own statehood. —Zachary Lewis

Books to give

Looking to gift a book? Here are some of the books our reviewers loved this year:

William, by Mason Coile I don’t like horror, but I loved this absorbing, disturbing little book. —Jennifer Graham

Funny Story, by Emily Henry This isn’t all fluff and love, and I don’t think I rolled my eyes once. It is definitely funny, but it’s so much more than that, too: It’s a story of human relationships and all of the messiness and intensity that come along with them, how they can start and end in the most unpredictable ways, and how we all have the capacity to overcome heartbreak and learn to love again. —Meghan Siegler

Playground, by Richard Powers This novel wants us to to think deeply about the unintended consequences of the development of AI and human dominance of the planet as we wade through the events of each character’s life, laid out in constantly changing points of view. For those willing to rise to the challenge Playground is a wholly immersive experience [that] gives the reader a mental workout. —JG

The Women, by Kristin Hannah Hannah superbly blends the heaviness of war with the frailty of humans at their most vulnerable — and often at their best. —MS

Bird Milk and Mosquito Bones, by Priyanka Mattoo Mattoo’s writing is exquisite …. It’s been a while since I enjoyed a collection of essays so much. —JG

The Demon of Unrest, by Erik Larson Larson tells stories that explain the onset of the Civil War better than any AP history course ever could. Nobody does it better when it comes to putting readers in the trenches of history, in this case with cannonballs whizzing over our heads. —JG

And here are a few more recent releases that may make good gifts.

What the Chicken Knows: A New Appreciation of the World’s Most Famous Bird, by Sy Montgomery (96 pages) Montgomery is also the author of The Soul of an Octopus and other books about animals. She lives in New Hampshire.

Heartbreak is the National Anthem: How Taylor Swift Reinvented Pop Music, by Rob Sheffield “An impassioned dissertation on (almost) all things Swiftian,” says the Washington Post of this book by a veteran Rolling Stone writer.

Atlas Obscura: Wild Life, by Cara Ciaimo and Joshua Foer A guide to giant Gippsland earthworms, hot springs snow monkeys, vampire finches and other amazing creatures of the world. “The perfect tome to get lost in on a rainy day,” said Taste of Home. Check out AtlasObscura.com.

Webb’s Universe, by Dr. Maggie Aderin-Pocock A catalog of images from the James Webb Space Telescope along with backstory on the science behind them, from a British space scientist.

Faithful Unto Death, by Paul Koudounaris

Faithful Unto Death, by Paul Koudounaris (256 pages, Thames & Hudson)

Traveling in rural Ecuador a few years ago, I looked out the car window to see a woman throw the corpse of a dog into a fire in her front yard. It wasn’t an act of cruelty — the dog was clearly dead — but it was still shocking to see an open-air cremation about to take place.

It was likely the best and cheapest option the woman had, faced with a decision that has confronted families ever since we started viewing animals as companions: What do we do with their bodies? In Faithful Unto Death, Paul Koudounaris walks us through the macabre history, making clear that what seems like the obvious answer — bury or cremate them — wasn’t often an option.

In Europe in the 19th century, many people took deceased dogs to rending sites where the bodies were broken down with chemicals, along with dead livestock. Terrible as that sounds, other people opted to throw their deceased animals into rivers. “In Paris, about five thousand dogs a year wound up in the Seine, the tragedy for their owners compounded by the civic cost, with the bodies polluting the river and resulting in 4,000 francs in annual cleanup fees,” Koudounaris writes.

When the rare individual tried to confer dignity on a deceased pet, things could get ugly. In 1855, a woman in Glasgow tried to inter her beloved cat in a cemetery plot she owned; an outraged mob gathered and broke open the cat’s little coffin, and police had to be summoned. It was considered blasphemous to think animals warranted the same burial customs as human beings.

But cremation wasn’t the answer either, as even for humans cremation was not yet widely accepted. So when an English family lost their beloved Maltese in 1881, they pleaded with the gatekeeper at a local park where they used to walk the dog and convinced him to let them bury him in his backyard garden. Word spread, and others began to make the same request. “Slowly his little plot was transformed into something that not only London, but also the entire Western world, had been unaware that it desperately needed.” Eventually there were more than 300 graves, animal corpses stacked on top of each other, in the gatekeeper’s garden, and he kept up the burying until he himself died in 1899.

Around the same time, pet cemeteries began cropping up in other places in Europe. In the United States, the problem of what to do with animal bodies was not so pressing, since there was plenty of undeveloped land, and you could bury anything you wanted on the frontier. Still, by the 1920s the U.S. had more than 600 pet cemeteries, and the U.S. today has more than the rest of the world combined, Koudounaris says — including one that is, bizarrely, only for coon hounds.

Some people are so enamored of their pets that they want to treat them like humans, even after death. Koudounaris tells the story of a mortician who was hired to embalm a dog that had been hit by a carriage (apparently streets were just as dangerous for dogs before cars) and bury him in a mahogany casket with a glass top. And at a mausoleum in New York, a metal box once came open, revealing not human remains but those of a parrot.

Earlier this year the New York Times published a fascinating piece about how a woman came to be buried at one of America’s most famous pet cemeteries, which is in Hartsdale, New York. Hartsdale is among the pet cemeteries that Koudounaris looks at, along with Pine Ridge, in Dedham, Massachusetts, where the fox terrier of South Pole explorer Richard Byrd is buried. The dog’s name was Igloo, appropriately enough, and his gravestone, larger than that of most humans, is shaped like an iceberg. Pine Ridge is also the resting place of three Boston terriers owned by Lizzie Borden.

Some of the most interesting stories in Faithful Unto Death, however, aren’t told in words but through photographs of monuments and epitaphs: “In remembrance of Smut, for 12 years, our much beloved cat”; “Alas! Poor Tiplet”; “Scott, who really smiled when pleased, faithful friend, guard of Anne”; “Witt – Best friend I ever had, died June 1895”; “In memory of a loving pet, Judy, killed by a tractor”; “Bingo, 1934-1950 – Let a little dog into your heart and he will tear it to pieces.”

In fact, anyone who still harbors grief for a long-gone pet may be brought to tears in solidarity with the animals memorialized here. That said, there are also some pictures I would rather not have seen, such as the mummified corpse of a dog that was found stuck inside a tree by loggers. “Stuckie” is now a tourist attraction in Georgia.

Toward the end of the book Koudounaris takes a look at what happens to pets of celebrities and animals that are celebrities in their own right. You’d think the dog that was Toto in The Wizard of Oz would have had one of those glass-topped mahogany caskets, but in fact the cairn terrier was buried at the home of her trainer, which later was razed when the Hollywood Freeway was built. “Cars now speed by above the gravesite, which is trapped under tons of concrete,” Koudounaris writes.

Grumpy Cat, the internet sensation who died in 2019, fared better and has a memorial (with a photo) at Sunland Memorial Park in Sun City, Arizona. (Even in death, Grumpy Cat has 1.4 million followers on X.)

Credit is due to Koudounaris for taking this macabre subject matter and making it engrossing; the only thing perplexing about the book is its presentation: It’s a heavy doorstop of a book, dictionary-like in heft, and maybe not the thing most people would want to display on a coffee table. That said, for people with good arm strength who don’t mind encountering a photo of a dead animal every now and then in a book, it’s a surprisingly compelling read. Kleenex recommended. B —Jennifer Graham

Album Reviews 24/12/12

Candy Whips, Artificial Melodies (Kitten Robot Records)

This northern California fivesome label their stuff ‘’post-glam” or “accidental goth,” the latter of which is more fitting in my opinion. It’s quite angular, this; to me the tldr description would be Gang of Four sitting around smoking joints with Lord Of The New Church, what with the ’80s-cheesing, mellotron-emulating synth; the resolute, minimalist guitar-chonking and the Stiv Bator vocals of (male) vocalist Wendy Stonehenge. Formulaically, the recipe calls for an Aughts-era verse-bridge structure in the vein of early Cure and such, that is to say the tunes want to take us someplace but don’t always arrive, and yet the journey is nevertheless pleasant enough (that’s especially true of “A Drop Will Do,” an alcoholism-admission story that’s the most phoned-in-sounding thing on board). But there are a lot of cool things in this set, such as “Strange Taste,” with its urgent, no-wave-ish anti-riff. Melodically on point, only rarely bogged down with performative subtlety. A

Kilmara, Journey To The Sun (RPM Records)

The rise of “melodic power metal” is in sync with the same epic-ness we hear in nearly every musical genre nowadays (save for indie of course, whose soil’s been depleted since the 1980s owing to the majority of its bands having more disposable recording money than actual artistry). People don’t have time nor patience for buildup anymore; they want the show-stopping mega-melody now or they go back to social media. We’ve heard it for years from emo-rock bands, pop divas, etc. and now it’s even on the big screen: A year from now, no one will remember that aside from “Defying Gravity” the soundtrack to Wicked is pretty awful (a friend remarked on Bluesky that Stephen Schwartz hasn’t written a decent score since 1970’s Godspell). Unlike Wicked, the fifth album from this Barcelona, Spain-based quintet, is wall-to-wall showstoppers, but sorry folks, sometimes you just have to wait for the big hook-gasm. In other words, conceptually and musically, it’s a fine tracing from the Trans-Siberian Orchestra template, but with more speed when they feel like going for it. I could picture some of this stuff bringing a tear to some metal-head’s eye; such a funny, funny world we live in now. A

PLAYLIST

A seriously abridged compendium of recent and future CD releases

• On Dec. 13, a few new albums will come out and be dumped into the Spotifies and the retail stores that carry music CDs for purchase, do stores even do that anymore? I suppose they do, particularly stores that sell vinyl albums for 1890s Victrola record-playing machines, because they know that certain people fancy themselves as “audiophiles”; they enjoy listening to vinyl records so that they can hear mistakes in old recordings, like they like to go “Woop! Hear that, Petunia? Ringo hit the rim of the snare drum, not the head, lolol, he must have been drunk on the reefers, you know?” No, I’m just funnin’ with you vinyl junkies; by now everyone knows that CDs simply can’t capture many frequencies, like the sound of unintentional rimshots by Ringo or the dulcet tones of groupies power-barfing in the booth; instead, all the sounds get squished together in an aural trash compactor, so the only way you can detect that Jimmy Page has too much treble on his guitar (didn’t he always?) is to suffer through the vinyl versions of 55-year-old Led Zeppelin songs! Speaking of Ringo Starr, he has a new country album coming out Jan. 10, called Look Up, but I’ll save the snarky CSI on that for later, since chances are there won’t be much else for me to talk about in this award-winning column during the first two weeks of the new year. In the meantime, we can point and laugh at Snoop Dogg, whose new album is out this Friday. It is titled Missionary, because Snoop actually invented sex during the time of the pharaohs, and it is produced by famous producing producer Dr. Dre, because why not! One of the singles, “Another Part of Me,” features Police bassist and tantric-sexytime man Sting; the tune borrows Outkast’s steez, reimagining the Police’s “SOS” as a shuffle tune with lyrics about living in L.A. and dealing with people shooting at you because they’re bored or whatever. It’s actually a marked improvement over the original (I know, I know).

• Wait, don’t run off yet, here’s one that’s awesome, a posthumous album from a rapping feller I actually like, DMX! We all know that the D-Man was always big into spittin’ about his faith on his first six-or-so albums, but on this new one, Let Us Pray: Chapter X, there’s more prayin’ than rappin’! Grammy award-winning producer Warryn Campbell set DMX’s prayers to music for the first time on this groundbreaking project that fuses hip-hop to gospel; it includes features from Killer Mike, Snoop, LeCrae and MC Lyte. In “Favor,” DMX thanks the lord for blessing him with fame and such; there’s straight-up praying and some trademark rhyming, super cool stuff.

• I assume you may not know much about British indie-dance act Saint Etienne despite their being around for nearly 35 years. Their trip is blending velvet-rope dance stuff with ’60s pop and whatnot, but on “Daydream,” the single for their latest LP, The Night, you’ll hear straight-ahead trance stuff a la Oceanlab. It’s great, you should listen to it.

• We’ll end the week with Rome, the new live album from Cincinnati, Ohio, post-punk revival band The National! Includes a version of the (very) Kings Of Leon-like “I Need My Girl,” a sad and mawkish rawk ballad that may move you, I don’t know for sure.

Chocolate Raspberry Rugelach

  • 1 cup (120 g) all-purpose flour
  • 2 Tablespoons cocoa powder
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1/3 cup (66 g) sugar
  • ½ cup (1 stick) butter
  • ½ cup (half an 8-ounce package) cream cheese
  • 1 egg, separated
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 3 Tablespoons + 3 Tablespoons seedless raspberry jam
  • ¾ cup (4 ounces or 125 g) semi-sweet chocolate chips, chopped

Whisk the dry ingredients — the flour, salt and cocoa — together, and set aside.

Right now you might be asking, “If I’m whisking the dry ingredients together, why not the sugar?” Interestingly enough, because it melts into wet ingredients so easily, it is usually considered a wet ingredient.

With a mixer, cream the butter, cream cheese and sugar together until they are light and fluffy. If your dairy is cold, it will cream up perfectly well, but clumps of it might stick in your mixer blade(s); knock it off with a rubber spatula, or turn up the speed and let centrifugal force do it for you. Attaining fluffiness should take two to three minutes. Beat in the egg yolk and vanilla.

Mix in the dry ingredients a spoonful or two at a time. If you try to do it all at once, a cloud of flour will poof up into your face. Remove the dough from the mixing bowl, and pat it into two slightly flattened disks on a floured countertop. Wrap the disks in waxed paper or plastic wrap, and leave it in your refrigerator to chill for an hour or so.

After your dough has had a chance to chill, preheat your oven to 350°F. Take one of the disks out of the fridge, flip it over and press it down on a floured countertop a couple of times to coat it with flour, so it won’t stick, then roll it out into a 10-inch circle. It’s useful to keep a tape measure for baking situations like this.

Slather the rugelach disk with three tablespoons of jam, and sprinkle half of the chopped chocolate over it. Cut it into eight to 10 slices, the way you would a pizza. Roll each of the triangles up, starting with the wide end. They should look a little like crescent rolls. Put them on a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone mat. Repeat the process with the other disk of dough. Chill them in your refrigerator again for another half an hour or so, to discourage them from losing their shape as they bake.

Brush the rugelach with egg white, and bake for 20 to 25 minutes, switching and rotating the pans halfway through. Cool for 15 minutes or so on the baking sheets, and dust them with powdered sugar, if that’s a thing you feel compelled to do.

Chocolate and raspberry are a classic combination, and a faint hint of sourness from the cream cheese makes these excellent holiday cookies.

Featured Photo: Bourbon-Cider Sour. Photo by John Fladd.

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