Tag: 220310

Beyond absurd

Lewis Black keeps pace with the world

On Friday, March 13, 2020, as the pandemic’s wave crashed down on the world of live events, Lewis Black stepped onto the stage of a Michigan casino. The comic greeted his audience with these words: “Thanks for risking your life.” He ended his set with an analysis of what’s wrong with America, likening its two dominant political parties to ideological mystery meat. “They both sort of taste like chicken,” Black said.

It would be Black’s last performance for a year and a half, and his latest special. He returned last fall with a run of club dates that nearly wiped him out. “I was literally like a boxer who hasn’t fought in a long time [who] punches himself in the face,” he said recently. His new show, “Off The Rails,” will stop in Concord on Thursday, March 10.

Black has made a career out of sputtering fury and frustration — with the ruling elite, thick-skulled hoi polloi, and everyone in between, always with an ear to the ground. Every show is new and up to the minute. That night in Michigan, he sensed what was coming. He and fellow comic pal Kathleen Madigan played armchair epidemiologists as the news from Wuhan seeped out, joking that they were the Fauci and Birx of the comedy world. To them, the science was clear; but even he did not anticipate the willful ignorance of many.

“I was stunned by the way in which people are acting and thinking … it’s like going back to when I was 12,” Black said in a recent phone interview. The gulf between red and blue is a moronic chasm, he continued, and not just when it comes to fighting a virus. “In a country that doesn’t want to vote, you’re going to worry about voting? Banning books? You’re going to worry about critical race theory when most kids don’t know how to spell it?”

Though obviously fodder for Black’s act, the onslaught of absurdity wasn’t exactly welcome. “It’s difficult to satirize what is already satiric,” he said, aiming special ire at purported news outlets dutifully repeating every outrageous social media post instead of doing their job. “Read the tweet … what they were reading was pathology, not policy. It’s not what did he say, it’s what do we do now?”

It was almost too much. “To be more insane than what I see, that’s my job as a comic,” he said. “That took a long time to understand. Really, just before the pandemic, I got it — wow, that’s what I’m doing. And then I realized … I couldn’t be more insane than what I was seeing, or I’d be insane, literally.”

Every Black show ends with “The Rant Is Due,” an afterparty that finds him musing over complaints offered by fans online. Few comics go so far to connect with their audience, but he sees it as rage transference — why should he be the only one angry all the time? As he scrolls his iPad submissions, Black will echo their fury and occasionally offer a lusty rebuttal, as when one fan griped about mask mandates.

“It is a show written by the audience and where I add my f-ing two cents,” Black said of his web request for fans to take a moment in advance to unburden themselves. The segment always offers a local focus. He recently addressed legal weed generally and pot prices specifically with a crowd in Humboldt County, California, along with the region’s winding roads and poor internet service.

It’s anyone’s guess what the Granite State will bring to the mix. After a recent stint in the Midwest, Black is hoping for better weather along with fans’ homegrown winging about taxes, tourists and other topics. “I love coming back to New Hampshire,” he said, “but I need you guys to warm the state up a little bit.”

Along with performing, Black is involved in a few pet causes. He’s chairman of an Indiana museum dedicated to writer Kurt Vonnegut, and he also works on behalf of the National Comedy Center. “I’ve done a lot with them,” he said of the Jamestown, New York,-based facility. “What they have done is extraordinary, incredible. Museum doesn’t describe it; it’s a living breathing thing, and 80 percent of it is interactive. You can literally go in there for six hours and go, what? It’s gone — and you learn a lot.”

Lewis Black
When: Thursday, March 10, 7 p.m.
Where: Capitol Center for the Arts, 44 S. Main St., Concord
Tickets: $55 and up ccanh.com

Featured photo: The Brit Pack.

The Music Roundup 22/03/10

Local music news & events

• Heartworn: Maine-based musician Seth Warner presents Highway Kind: A Celebration of Townes Van Zandt, an evening honoring the author of “Poncho & Lefty,” “Waiting Around To Die” and other timeless songs. Over a brief but iconic career, the Texas native was covered by an Americana who’s who, including Willie Nelson, Emmylou Harris, the Cowboy Junkies and Steve Earle, who named his son after him. Thursday, March 10, 8 p.m., The Press Room, 77 Daniel St., Portsmouth, $10 at pressroomnh.com.

• Rocking: Las Vegas stalwarts Adelitas Way perform with support from West Coast alt-metal band Gemini Syndrome at a downtown venue well suited to their full-on sound that has some big-name ticketed events on the horizon. Well-known for their churning mid-aughts single “Invincible,” the band recently released a new EP, Rivals. They reportedly got their name from a Tijuana bar that was their last stop on a long, scary weekend. Friday, March 11, 9 p.m., The Goat, 50 Old Granite St., Manchester, $22 at ticketmaster.com (21+).

• Celtic: March is always a busy month for Jordan Tirrell-Wysocki and his trio, premier purveyors of Irish music. Along with a showcase event in Concord at week’s end, the master fiddler will play an intimate show of traditional tunes backed by bass player Chris Noyes and guitarist Matt Jensen at a museum dedicated to preserving Manchester’s industrial heritage. Saturday, March. 12, 2:30 p.m., Millyard Museum, 200 Bedford St., Suite 103, Manchester, $20 at manchesterhistoric.org (reservations required).

• Gather: Several local bands perform at Music Fest 22, an event sponsored by Henniker Brewing. The lineup includes Contoocook favorites Hometown Eulogy, with mandolinist Brian Peasley and guitar/harmonica player Taylor Pearson along with Joe Leary, David Graham and Benjamin Harris, and the band Two Minute Warning. Craft beer pours, food and raffles are all part of the fun. Saturday, March 12, 3 p.m., American Legion Post No. 81, 169 Bound Tree Road, Contoocook, americanlegionpost81.org.

• Progeny: Apples that didn’t fall far from the tree, Teddy Thompson & Jenni Muldaur perform classic country duets, following up their Teddy & Jenni Do Porter & Dolly EP released last year. Thompson is the son of folk legends Richard and Linda Thompson, whom he musically reunited for 2014’s Family, a disc that also included his sister and half-brother. Muldaur is the daughter of pioneering roots singer Maria Muldaur. Sunday, March 13, 7 p.m., Bank of NH Stage, 16 S. Main St., Concord, $30 at ccanh.com.

The Batman (PG-13)

The Batman (PG-13)

Robert Pattinson is the physically nearly invincible but emotionally vulnerable personification of vengeance in The Batman, maybe the best live-action Batman?

Hey, I said “maybe”; it’s been a while since I’ve seen The Dark Knight, which would maybe have been my previous “best” — though I think each of the Michael Keaton through Batfleck versions have had at least some good qualities.It’s been multiple decades since I watched Batman: The Animated Series with its out-of-time 1930s/1970s/1990s all smushed together Gotham setting and its tales of moral compromises and good intentions that curdle in a hard city. But this movie brought me back to that place, stories of deeply scarred people in a corrupt city where the victory is always, like, better governance and the possibility for optimism, as opposed to saving the world.

This iteration’s Batman is barely ever Bruce Wayne (Pattinson), the scion of the Wayne family fortune but not the model-dating society-page anchor of previous versions of the character. This Bruce has almost entirely given himself over to the Batman, as it’s called here, always with the “the.” He sees his role as not just physically fighting criminals but also instilling fear in them so that when they see the bat signal in the sky, they are moved to stop their criminal pursuits and make a run for it whether they actually see the Batman or not. His appearances as Bruce are few and mostly only to Alfred (Andy Serkis), here less a butler and more the only guy keeping the Wayne facade going, while also assisting with some of the Batman’s investigations.

The signal seems to exist mostly as a communication device between the Batman and Lt. James Gordon (Jeffrey Wright), Gotham’s seemingly only trustworthy police officer. When Gotham Mayor Don Mitchell (Rupert Penry-Jones) is murdered, Gordon calls in the Batman to look at evidence in spite of the sour feelings the police officers have toward the vigilante. Gordon seems to genuinely appreciate his detective skills but also the murderer has some larger purpose that involves the Batman, having left a note with a riddle addressed to him.

As Gordon and the Batman investigate the crime, they discover that Mitchell had secrets, including shady dealings with mobster Carmine Falcone (John Turturro) and his top lieutenant the Penguin (an extremely unrecognizable Colin Farrell). As more bodies of important city officials turn up, the Riddler (Paul Dano), as they come to call the person responsible, uncovers a vast conspiracy linking mobsters, city elected officials and law enforcement not only in the present but reaching back to the days of Bruce’s parents, Thomas and Martha.

Participating, sometimes, in this investigation, though for reasons of her own, is Selina Kyle (Zoë Karvitz), who is never quite called Catwoman but who has some slinky black leather get-ups and can kick butt when needed. Selina and the Batman have Heat in a way that works for the tone of this movie and makes Bruce/the Batman a more human person.

Vulnerability in general is one of this Batman’s defining traits. He can, like so many previous Batmans, get shot multiple times without missing a step, but we do get to see him get knocked out or banged up in a way that a non-superpower person with some really good tech would. And, more significantly, we see him sad, scared, stuck in trauma, angry and, with Selina, kind of emotionally awkward without being quippy about it.

I feel like years of Marvel Cinematic Universe movies (not to mention the various tones of DC’s own extended universe, of which Wikipedia says this movie is not a part) make saying this necessary but: This movie is generally not quippy or light or an upbeat action good time. There are moments of extremely dry humor, but it all serves the “this crime-ridden cesspool” tone about Gotham and the wider world. But still it is a really enjoyable movie with its surprisingly well-paced crime story — I say “surprisingly” because I was afraid that at nearly three hours this would be a slog. Instead, the only time I checked the time I found myself thinking “oh good, there’s still an hour left.” Like a good graphic novel or a binge of those old animated episodes, this movie really pulls you in and holds you in the story with these characters. And though this is our first outing with Pattinson-Batman we don’t have to trek through the origin story with the whole “Martha and the pearls” scene (as the CinemaSins/Honest Trailers-y places call that much-recreated sequence of Bruce’s parents’ death) and Bruce becoming the Batman. We start with him mid-Batman-ing but still figuring out what it all means and what he really wants to accomplish.

Also helping to keep you rooted in this version of Gotham are this movie’s visuals, which also kept calling to mind the animated series, not because it was a live-action copy but because of how it framed people in a scene or used shadow. Similar to how previous Gothams always seemed to have one foot still in a gangster-movie version of the 1930s, this Gotham had elements of 1970s New York (without that The Joker pastiche look) but with just the right amount of elements about modern politics and society fraying (again, not in that awful The Joker way that is all shock, no substance). And points to this score, which is a departure from the 1980s-1990s Batman theme but delivers on setting the noir-y scene.

And then there’s Pattinson, who crafts a very specific Batman — not as weary as Affleck, much more damaged than Christian Bale. I don’t know that it’s “the” definitive Batman but it’s a thoroughly realized Batman who is a compelling character. His partnership with Wright’s Gordon is solid, with them working as much like young-cop/experienced-cop as they do superhero/regular person.

Perhaps most surprising of all the surprises in this movie is that The Batman feels like a different way to do a classic superhero character with well-known characters and story. After so much MCU and a DCEU that often felt more like an answer to Marvel than its own thing, The Batman offers an example how a well-known comic book story can offer familiar plot points and stories while doing something that feels new and fresh. A-

Rated PG-13 for strong violent and disturbing content, drug content, strong language and suggestive material, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Matt Reeves and written by Matt Reeves & Peter Craig, The Batman is — well, look, long, it’s a long movie. It’s two hours and 55 minutes, according to IMDB, 2 hours, 56 minutes according to other sources. But basically you will be in the theater more than three hours, with trailers and whatnot. But for once this doesn’t feel like a knock against the movie. And it is only in theaters, distributed by Warner Bros.

Featured photo: The Batman.

Pure Colour, by Sheila Heti

Pure Colour, by Sheila Heti (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 216 pages)

In her new novel Pure Colour, Canadian Sheila Heti imagines a new Genesis, one in which God is not yet finished with the work of creation but is just taking a break, stepping back, critically looking at what he has so far produced. “This is the moment we are living in — the moment of God standing back,” Heti writes on the first page.

And that, my friends, is the last time that this novel makes sense.

From there, Heti hurtles into a book-length word salad that is at times poignant and insightful; other times, a baffling stream of consciousness. At its best, it’s an imaginative fable about love and loss, wrapped in a blistering social critique. At its worst, which happens too often, you wonder what (and how much) Heti was drinking when she wrote it. Such is speculative fiction.

We begin in a world that is “heating up in advance of its destruction” since God has decided the first draft wasn’t good enough and a new one is needed. Like any good manager, God needs feedback, so “God appears, splits, and manifests as three critics in the sky: a large bird who critiques from above, a large fish who critiques from the middle, and a large bear who critiques while cradling creation in its arms.”

People are born from the eggs of these creatures (yes, even the bear produces eggs in this world), and take on the characteristics of their breeders. People born from fish eggs care most about the collective; people born of bird eggs care about things like beauty, meaning and order; people born from bear eggs care about a few other people: “They are deeply consumed with their own.”

Our protagonist, Mira, wished she was of bear lineage, but she, born of a bird, had the hollow bones and heart of an artist. We follow Mira around in her strange world, where she works at a store that sells expensive lamps. (This all occurs during an unspecified age before the internet, when people found jobs and housing from “little paper signs.” Mira goes to school at the prestigious American Academy of American Critics (which, in a wry twist, has international branches) where self-important students learn to “hone their insights” and to “develop a style of writing and thinking that could survive down through the ages, and at the same time penetrate their own generation so incisively.”

The school, it seems, could have been worth an entire cynical book, or at least a couple of chapters, but it is quickly dropped to explore a brief love relationship Mira has with an American orphan named — wait for it — Annie. Coincidence or something more? Hard to say. Then her father dies, and this strange little novel gets even stranger.

When Mira’s father dies, his essence seems to take over her body. For a while, the book turns into a meditation on grief, as Mira processes her loss. “She had thought that when someone died, it would be like they went into a different room. She had not known that life itself transformed into a different room, and trapped you in it without them.” She stopped caring about the business of living (though, frankly, it wasn’t like she was doing that much living before her father’s death). “It was the dead who needed our love, the dead who she wanted to be loyal to, the dead who needed us most. The living could take care of themselves, going to the grocery store in all that sunshine. It was the dead who need to be held on to, so they would not slip away. Who would save the dead from oblivion, if not the living?”

Then, Mira has an experience in which she takes the form of a leaf — a leaf in which her father’s spirit also dwelled — and they have the sort of beautiful and cleansing Kafkaesque conversations you might have if you suddenly found yourself inside a leaf. Was she dead? It seems so for a while, then she comes out of the leaf and is back with orphan Annie for a while while musing about gods, plural, specifically gods who tired people out when they wanted to stop them from doing things. “The weariest people are being the most prevented. They are the most dangerous ones, who would change the world if they could.”

Eventually, Mira’s mind-boggling dialogue comes to a close, though we are not sure what, if anything, has been accomplished, either for Mira or for the long-suffering reader.

Still, Heti proves herself a shrewd critic of modern life, as in her observation about social media:

“There were so many ways of being hated, and one could be hated by so many people. … Hate seemed to spring from the deepest core of our beings. Years later, all you had to do was peep through a peephole and there it was for anyone to see — a whole world of vitriol, entirely without end. It seemed that rage was what we were made of.”

That said, it seems that the world would be better served if she just wrote columns of cultural criticism. Maybe we are bears, and she’s a bird, building thought nests that others can’t fully see. In Mira’s world, artists who created stories, books and movies were producing their own second drafts, better versions of God’s world, as if hoping to get his (or her) attention. For the sake of the next world, let’s hope God doesn’t option this book. C

Book Notes

One of the silver linings of the pandemic was the virtual author event.

When physical bookstores were shuttered, many took to having author readings and Q&As online, which enabled people in remote locations to participate. You couldn’t get a book signed this way or shake the author’s hand, but it was still a better way to “connect” with an author than reading an interview.

Author events have now returned live in many places, but there are some bookstores that are still enabling people to watch online. Others have posted past events on YouTube, such as Washington, D.C.,’s famous bookstore, Politics and Prose. A quick Google search may find a few videos of your favorite author that will make for a more enjoyable evening than watching NFL reruns.

Here are a couple coming up of note:

Porter Square Books in Cambridge, Mass., will have a virtual event March 14 for How She Did It(Rodale, 336 pages), by Molly Huddle and Sara Slattery, who offer “stories, advice and secrets to success from 50 legendary distance runners.”

Mystery writer Simone St. James has a new novel, The Book of Cold Cases (Berkley, 352 pages), for which she’s doing a virtual event March 17 through the Poisoned Pen Bookstore in Phoenix, Arizona.

Novelist Lisa Scottoline doesn’t release What Happened to the Bennetts (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 400 pages) until March 29 but is already doing events. One virtual one will be through Friend and Fiction on Facebook Live on March 23.

Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul star Bob Odenkirk has a new book, Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama (Random House, 304 pages), for which he’s doing both live and virtual events. He’s got a virtual event March 13 through Live Talks Los Angeles. It’ll cost you $40 to get admitted, but you also get actor Jack Black, for what that’s worth.

Book Events

Author events

• AZAR NAFISI Author presents Read Dangerously: The Subversive Power of Literature in Troubled Times, in conversation with Jacki Lyden. Ticketed virtual event hosted by Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord. Sat., March 19, 7 p.m. Tickets cost $27 to $31 and include a copy of the book. Held via Zoom. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com or call 224-0562.

• HOWARD MANSFIELD Author presents Chasing Eden. Sat., March 19, 9:45 to 11:45 a.m. Peterborough Town Library, 2 Concord St., Peterborough. Visit monadnockwriters.org.

• EMMA LOEWE Author presents Return to Nature: The New Science of How Natural Landscapes Restore Us, in conversation with author Hannah Fries. Virtual event hosted by Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord. Wed., April 13, 7 p.m. Registration is required. Held via Zoom. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com or call 224-0562.

• BECKY SAKELLERIOU AND HENRY WALTERS Becky Sakelleriou presents The Possibility of Red. Henry Walters presents Field Guide A Tempo. Sat., April 16, 9:45 to 11:45 a.m. Peterborough Town Library, 2 Concord St., Peterborough. Visit monadnockwriters.org.

• ANNE HILLERMAN Author presents The Sacred Bridge. Virtual event hosted by Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord. Tues., April 19, 7 p.m. Held via Zoom. Registration is required. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com or call 224-0562.

Poetry

• REBECCA KAISER Poet presents Girl as Birch. Virtual event hosted by Gibson’s Bookstore in Concord. Mon., April 11, 7 p.m. Held via Zoom. Registration is required. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com or call 224-0562.

• DOWN CELLAR POETRY SALON Poetry event series presented by the Poetry Society of New Hampshire. Monthly. First Sunday. Visit poetrysocietynh.wordpress.com.

Book Clubs

• BOOKERY Online. Monthly. Third Thursday, 6 p.m. Bookstore based in Manchester. Visit bookerymht.com/online-book-club or call 836-6600.

• GIBSON’S BOOKSTORE Online, via Zoom. Monthly. First Monday, 5:30 p.m. Bookstore based in Concord. Visit gibsonsbookstore.com/gibsons-book-club-2020-2021 or call 224-0562.

• TO SHARE BREWING CO. 720 Union St., Manchester. Monthly. Second Thursday, 6 p.m. RSVP required. Visit tosharebrewing.com or call 836-6947.

• GOFFSTOWN PUBLIC LIBRARY 2 High St., Goffstown. Monthly. Third Wednesday, 1:30 p.m. Call 497-2102, email elizabethw@goffstownlibrary.com or visit goffstownlibrary.com

• BELKNAP MILL Online. Monthly. Last Wednesday, 6 p.m. Based in Laconia. Email bookclub@belknapmill.org.

• NASHUA PUBLIC LIBRARY Online. Monthly. Second Friday, 3 p.m. Call 589-4611, email information@nashualibrary.org or visit nashualibrary.org.

Album Reviews 22/03/10

Bye Bye Tsunami, Bye Bye Tsunami (Nefarious Industries Records)

You know, giving this Copenhagen-based noise-rock album any amount of love in this space makes me feel guilty that I haven’t done the same for the couple of weirdo bands who’ve been blowing up my email with demands that I stop “being all corporate and covering national bands,” mostly sent from (I think Boston-based) dada weirdos who’ve been emailing me gigabytes of nonsense that honestly isn’t any more unlistenable than this. And plus, a lot of those “national bands” have no support from their record labels. This one is a messy cacophony, some noise-punk grooves, some sax skronk, a few samples, some absolutely piercing feedback bursts, and so on. Recently been hit in the head with a 90 mph fastball? You might actually love this. C

Away, self:antiself (Boom Records)

Four-track EP from the Los Angeles-based beatmaker, whose biggest inspirations are professed to be Nine Inch Nails, Deftones, and Burial, a compelling trifecta of kickassage if I ever saw one. And kickoff song “Ritual” does possess all those aspects: some heavy electro riffage, a volley of glitch-dubstep and goth-sexytime vocals courtesy of Echos, whose soprano is a cross between Kesha and Evanescence’s Amy Lee. So the formula is inarguably good, but the result? Eh, not so much; it’s vibe more than anything else, something to have blaring in your ear when you’re 99 percent sure your sketchy significant other is cheating on you, that sort of thing. “Help Me” fares a lot worse, outright ripping off NIN’s “Closer” to such an extent that for the first 20 seconds you’ll think it’s a cover of that tune. “Ghostbox” is the winner here, possessed of a mellow-mode Imagine Dragons idea that translates even when the glitch gets a little thick. It’s OK overall. B

PLAYLIST

• March 11 is our next all-purpose album release date, and to help us celebrate the last few weeks of our yearly collective cracking in half Shining-style here in Antarctica, looky there, it’s three-chord pop-metal dunderhead Bryan Adams, with his new album So Happy It Hurts! No, I’m just joshing, he’s not a dunderhead, I really don’t mind Bryan Adams and his tidy, perfect little rock ’n’ roll songs; he’s actually a very good songwriter in my opinion. Remember when he did that three-chord hard rock ballad with Tina Turner? My favorite was when he did that tune “Bang The Drum” with Nelly Furtado at the 2010 Winter Olympics opening ceremonies, man was she gorgeous, and he was so funny, dressed like a Blues Brother with that stupid skinny tie and off-the-rack suit, ha ha. Whatever, he had a bunch of catchy songs, and I didn’t hate him, which brings us to the here and now, when I’ll probably hate everything I’m about to listen to from this new album. Right, the title track is a sleepy, strummy bridal-shower-pop ballad that’s probably some old John Cougar song played backward, it’s lame and dumb, but “On The Road” is a lot better, because the guitars are heavier, I don’t really have anything bad to say about — wait, ha ha, you should hear it when he starts singing about “Gettin’ back on the road / is all I’ve ever known.” What a hapless fail, I’m telling you, your uncle who used to play in an AC/DC cover band could think of something cooler than this, honestly. Remember when I made fun of the last David Duchovny album because it was such dad rock? This record would get the same review if I had to review it, the exact same verbiage.

• Now that Marilyn Manson did so much stupid stuff that he got himself kicked off the Loma Vista Records roster, the company sincerely hopes that you’re in the mood to buy the new Ghost album, Impera, which will be out tomorrow! These guys are a veteran hard rock-ish/metal-ish band from Sweden, and they’re kind of weird. In the new single, “Call Me Little Sunshine,” they sound like a cross between ABBA and Whitesnake. Read that again: a cross between ABBA and Whitesnake. The tune wants to be a catchy, epic ballad but it just sort of flops around and looks at you dumbly, hoping that you’ll be interested in it, but then you go off to find a snack and forget you ever heard it; I know I already have.

• The Districts are a stripped-down, minimalist-ish indie band from Pennsylvania, composed of three guys who’ve known each other since high school. They’re up to five albums as of tomorrow, when their latest, Great American Painting, hits the Spotifys and whatever, so I checked out the new single “I Want to Feel It All” to see if there was anything to salvage out of it, and there was, if you like mall-pop with a lot of bloops and whatever. The tune doesn’t really go anywhere but it’s pleasant, as aimless music goes.

• We’ll wrap up this week’s business with an album from Rex Orange County, a disposable English hipster-pop dude whose real name is Alexander James O’Connor; his claim to fame is a “token skinny jeans dude” guest spot on Tyler, the Creator’s Grammy-nominated album Flower Boy. Anyone still paying attention, anyone at all? No? Well that’s fitting, because this fellow’s new album is called Who Cares, featuring the single “Keep It Up,” a tune about unironically puttering around on a little boat or something while pastel ponies dance around, I don’t even know. This dude wants to be Jose Gonzalez really badly but will just end up being forever known as “Whoever, you know, that one dude on that Tyler mixtape.”

If you’re in a local band, now’s a great time to let me know about your EP, your single, whatever’s on your mind. Let me know how you’re holding yourself together without being able to play shows or jam with your homies. Send a recipe for keema matar. Message me on Twitter (@esaeger) or Facebook (eric.saeger.9).

Drink these three beers now

These are worth tracking down

I’ve said this before but walking into your local beer store is downright overwhelming these days. How are you supposed to make a decision?

Even when I know exactly what I want to buy as I walk in, I inevitably get sidetracked. Just going to pick up a six-pack of this or that, but really, who knows what I’ll walk out of there with and how long it will take me to make a decision? I certainly don’t. I don’t have a clue how it’s all going to unfold.

Sometimes it’s helpful to just have someone tell you what to do because thinking is hard. Your life is hard enough and your mind deserves a few minutes without needing to make critical decisions.

I just don’t want you to be that poor, lost soul in your beer store, floundering around from aisle to aisle, shelf to shelf like a rudderless boat. You’ll probably be saying “excuse me” one million times and maybe bumping into others as you start to sweat from your inability to make a decision. No one wants that. It’s depressing to see, honestly.

You deserve a break from thinking, so here are three New Hampshire beers I think you should drink:

Coffee Porter by Northwoods Brewing Co. (Northwood)

I’m falling in love with this brewery; let me start there. The Coffee Porter is silky and smooth and sweet and rich and decadent — it’s just a wonderful beer drinking experience for those of us who appreciate the coupling of beer and coffee. It’s not just a coffee beer, though, as there are pronounced chocolate flavors as well. It comes in at just 4.7 percent ABV, which is tremendous news, as I hereby give permission to have more than one. Random, but Northwoods also has a beer called Magnetic Sense, which is a dry Irish stout, and I guess what I’m saying is, maybe have one of those on St. Patrick’s Day.

Citrillia by Great Rhythm Brewing Co. (Portsmouth)

This double dry-hopped double IPA is a quintessential example of this style: hazy, hoppy and delicious with big tropical fruit flavor — think grapefruit and mango, and maybe a touch of lime. At 8 percent this packs a bit of a punch, but this is what your taste buds want so you should give it to them. Plus, there is just something about a super hoppy brew that brightens up what can, well, kind of be a bit of a dreary month. This doesn’t disappoint at all as the flavor just explodes in your mouth.

Erastus by Schilling Beer Co. (Littleton)

I saw a recent piece in the Boston Globe calling Schilling’s brew Alexandr, a Czech-style Pilsner, the best beer in New Hampshire (while also lauding its pizza). Tough to disagree because the brew is tremendous (and so is the pizza). But, if you’re going all the way to Schilling, you would be a fool not to give Erastus a try. This Belgian tripel is just packed with fruity, spicy flavor. It just seems to hit you with layers upon layers of flavor and complexity and just begs for another sip. Situate yourself alongside the Ammonoosuc River, order up some pizza and dive into this brew. I literally have goosebumps as I write this.

What’s in My Fridge
Peroni Nastro Azzurro by Peroni Brewery (Vigevano, Italy)
Honestly, I’ve probably had this before but I have no recollection of having it previously. It’s light, crisp, bright and refreshing — pretty much exactly what you want when you are craving something lighter. The brew has some delightful citrus and spice notes as well that make it interesting. There are so many IPAs and so many big, rich stouts, it’s definitely worthwhile to be able to turn to some quality lighter brews. Cheers!

Featured photo: Coffee Porter by Northwoods Brewing Co.

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